Dinner: I am soup, the cat is sausage. I put a cat in a bowl of chicken soup. I see what he likes. I go out of the kitchen to pick up the phone, come back and find a piece of sausage in my soup.

The candidate for President of Russia Vladimir Putin has achieved a reduction in the price of gasoline, the increase of which was achieved by the Prime Minister of Russia Vladimir Putin.

I: I remember my first computer... we were small yet... Dad brought a box of something... we ask: Dad, Dad, what is it? It is computer. Well, the fantasy played out, the compas we already saw then, indeed, under the drawer everything was still working on them.. but the games in it were.. some simplechess about the skier..
I: Well, when, when daddy gathers it up... I’d be faster, so I want to play. and gathered.
I found a box for vegetables. I still stand on the balcony. My first computer disappointed me.

I read an article on the website of Maxim about condoms. I see the comments:

The highest degree of manifestation of male egoism is a condom wearing puppies inside.

(M): A condom with pimples inside is not only protection, but also a healing point massage! Did you not know that Ayurveda has 14,000 energy points only on the left testicle?

(G) : Oh... and I thought that only one point on the left testicle is painful))))) Now a knee stroke in the hip can be motivated by healing intentions on Feng Shui))))

vanechka: fucking, I can't understand what I want more - to find a girlfriend or to eat the bigtai in a mac
LXPl: a girl has more meat than a bigtai.
Benjamin: the meat in the girl is demanding and fucking, take big teasti!

Lina: Baby, I am all burning and so wet!
ZELGADIS: Are you sure you didn’t go through the window?
Lina is calm. I have 38.7 and I’m sweating.

No one has offered me a hand or a heart.
My mom said she would buy me a car if you put on a white dress.

Why did you catch her ass?
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I sit at work playing an online toy, attacking less by level, well I think in general of the need of the officels.I write to him "You have the strength of it is enough nubic =))", a phone call is given, the director calls to himself, well work is more important than the game. I go quickly to him.
Director: "See how Nubu is strong enough to win=)"
I have lost (

In my opinion, the reading of the present Bora by people who have known it for more than three years is explained only by nostalgia and the hopes that melt with every day to meet here at least something worth it as before. Don't flame me, plz

Wife:... he is moving to Canada on PMS!
Husband: Sunnychko, you have PMS every month, and he moves to PMJ.

Conversation with Mom.
I’ll go out for a walk with Mommy.
Is it Vasa?
This is Masha Masha.

Have you ever thought about a gift for March 8th?
YYY : No. We observe the tradition - to think about a gift on March 8, valuing a gift on February 23.

Whoever dines with a girl, dances with her.
It happens that you dance the girl and you think, fucking, it would be better not to eat dinner!

What will we do tomorrow, Brain?
- The same as today, Pinki, update the contact!

A guy and a girl discuss why the car did not start at -25 and how to start it correctly.
Q:...you understand — you poured the candles, so you didn’t go. You can’t turn the starter several times in a row, it’s not summer. Gasoline enters the engine, but does not evaporate and does not go anywhere. The candles become raw and do not give a spark.
D: How is it?
Q: If the car fails to freeze from the first attempt, you have to wait about a minute or less before trying to start it a second time. For example, I think of myself by 30.
D: And why all this shit?
Q: At first, the battery will rest a little, but that’s not the main thing. The main thing is that at such a low temperature, gasoline does not have time to evaporate in the cylinder. Gasoline is a liquid, it does not burn by itself. And gasoline vapors burn, but in order for them to burn, it is necessary for steam to form from the liquid, and gasoline evaporates at low temperatures slower than, for example, in the room. In the cylinder a cloud of gasoline steam is formed, it is then, burning, and pushes the piston.
D: What is there? Is something burning?
P: This is not the word burning, there are real explosions happening. You’ve gotten rid of a crap, did you hear it? The engine is 5 times louder.
D: I’m scared...why did you tell me all this? How will I ride now?? to

I wish you in the new year:
wine and vodka factory, 2 wagons,
our money 3 lemons, a vacation for 10, a boat, a yacht, a lexus of a new brand, diamonds a whole train!!! to
For all these gifts, Santa has brought you!!! With New Year!

Kirill: And the thread with the needle to sew the cracked...oh!!!! to

5 year old daughter:
He runs to his mother, hugs her for her legs, looks with doubt, leads her foot with a pen. He says with horror in his voice:
“Mommy, are you turning into an eagle?! to

Davi barely walked away. All of the radio. There is such a broadcast on AutoRadio - Agency of Funny Messages. In the studio trio “Murzilki International”, and here the host Gordeeva reads the news about the Mexican seems to be the company “Minerva”, which set up the production of beer for homosexuals. Type light drink with honey taste, blabla. Here, grit, do you know what signs allow directly by the label to determine the target group of consumers? The men in the studio are silent, she laughs, well, I’m glad you don’t know. and :)
Further a little detail, and at the end of the news, Zahar, who had been silently silent before, suddenly said: "The main thing is that they do not exaggerate with honey, or they will cling." Scuco, I barely slipped under the steering wheel! and :)

I work in a music store, including selling headphones. There is a 20% discount for employees. The guy came, got to work, took on the headphones and we haven’t seen him for a week))

I'm considering buying a kitchen headset on the same scheme.)