bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149149
 18.02.2018
In Czech, the emphasis in the word VLTAVA (it is the river on which Prague stands) falls you know where?

The letter L!
L is Carl!
A wonderful Czech language.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149148
 18.02.2018
Boy, girl... I recently met a wonderful man, an elderly woman of crazy appearance, and she is above those of your gender biases and gender division in general. The dialogue:
Boy, tell me what time is it?
I’m fourteen and I’m not a boy.
Girl, what is the difference?

If so, it’s not so for me and my kids.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149147
 18.02.2018
It is just assumptions.
1st For the first time as a feeder. The female evaluates the prospects in this area. The male, as appropriate, breaks the feathers.
2nd Per they will have to do this together quite often. Is he crawling and crawling? And suddenly she?

You know, I’ve been here for many years mostly alone. And usually it is an endless cycle of work-sleep-work. And when someone suddenly appears to me, I think this is a very good occasion to go together almost anywhere. Eat and watch and walk. Because if I’m going to walk these places alone, the outcome will probably be one – I’m with an acid mine and a misunderstanding why I needed to spend money on it. Both can be much more interesting. At least how the interlocutor reacts to it.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149146
 18.02.2018
I stand and choose a fish, before me the aunt chooses and asks the seller to choose her even larger fish. And the seller said to her, “Listen, dear, where can I get the bigger for you?” They are all classmates here!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149145
 18.02.2018
A good little boy packed a full pack of candy.
Dad, eat as much as you want. You want two, you want one.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №149144
 18.02.2018
X: If you throw a coin eight times and the barrel falls out all eight times, it does not increase the odds of the eagle falling out the ninth time. It still remains 1/2.

Y: If the coin has fallen 8 times, it is a proof that the coin is shattered and the probability of an eagle falling out is less than 1/2. Not a guarantee, of course. But it is worth thinking. If a coin has fallen 100 times in a row, you have to see if there is an eagle on it.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149143
 18.02.2018
Discuss the remake of the second part of Resident Evil, in particular the depth of localization, well there are inscriptions, texts, textures, etc:
Leon runs in the shape of a police officer with the abbreviation R.P.D = Raccoon Police Department.
And what?
- In the localization will have to write Police Department of Raqqa City = P.D.R.S. = And with this inscription on the chest and back, Leon will run the whole game?)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149142
 18.02.2018
You don’t understand, it’s cute. A man’s brain is normal for a girl.

Yyy: You know... If I want an extra source of hemorrhoids and expenses, I’ll find a easier way. An animal to get there, buy something from the domestic automotive industry or buy an apartment somewhere in the shelter... Fuck, take the child from the kindergarten!

It should be better with a girl than without her. and point.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149141
 18.02.2018
The astronauts are well on orbit, they have no weight problems.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149140
 18.02.2018
From the live magazine:

1990 in the Primordial.
At 12:56:40, at 49 kilometers west of the Koltsovo airport, the Tu-134 landed on a snow field with its chassis and closures removed. Buried in the snow, the chassis stands began to collapse. Moving through the snow of 148 meters, the aircraft took off and flew 104 meters, after which it again touched the ground with both the main chassis and the left wing plane, and after 44 meters again rose up. After flying 180 meters, the airliner touched the ground for the third time, after which it crashed into the stationary irrigation system, causing the right wing plane with the right gondola of the chassis to break off. Due to high speed, the lifting force of the left wing overturned the aircraft. "On the back" Tu-134 lost the kil with stabilizers, after which crashed into trees of the forest strip and collapsed. After 1028 meters from the place of first touch, the aircraft stopped.
and----
A friend of mine passed by, came in a car right across the field. From the overturned, broken aircraft, a man with a wallet, in a hat and asked: "Where is the bus station nearby? I am late.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149139
 18.02.2018
Costin (head of the VTB) - wife:
What do you bring from Sochi?
The magnet.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149138
 18.02.2018
Talent, not talent
I knew one guy, who loved to draw and devoted to this activity almost all his free time, completely immersed in the process and ballad. But he did not know how to paint completely, and so he did not learn until the age of 50, and is unlikely to learn. But what difference, in fact, if this happiness brings him, a drug without side effects... I even envy him a little.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149137
 18.02.2018
Another example of the color difference of children:
Do you have a boy? A man asked me, pointing to a girl dressed as a girl.
No girl though.
and the mouth (!) The Blue

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149136
 18.02.2018
>> Do you specifically go to the internet to listen to them?! to

Now on the Internet no one specially climbs - it comes out of it specifically (to wash dishes there or talk to a cat).

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149135
 18.02.2018
What you do with this talented – not talented.
To be born talented is like to be born beautiful.
Who will have enough regular hygiene to be beautiful.
To whom it is like to go as a miner for a prize so as not to be a wretch.
Anyone born ugly by the age of 40 will finally understand how to become attractive.
And who else can do so that his ugliness will become a new canon of beauty. At least 20 years old at 60.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149134
 18.02.2018
From the closed women’s forum:

Xxx: The lover gave me a car and I don’t know what to do with it. My husband doesn't tell me what I bought - we have a common budget and such purchases are discussed.
Say the truth to your husband. Let them know what generous men are!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149133
 17.02.2018
and confident:

"I am sure, if there were a real adult buian, this brave man would sit quieter than the water under the grass."

Passengers linked a bulky airborne debosher on the flight South Sakhalinsk - Moscow. The crew of the Aeroflot flight tried to calm the drunken business-class debusher, but the man struck the pilot. Passengers came to help the stewards. The hooligans were bound by a scotch and placed in the kitchen of the aircraft before landing.
Passengers and crew on a flight from Ireland to New York, Scottish, bound a drunk man who was trying to strangle a woman and shouted that the plane would crash. He was arrested on arrival at John F. Kennedy Airport.
During the flight Moscow-New York, a business class passenger behaved inadequately (likely to be in a state of severe alcoholic intoxication), struck the boarding staff in the face and collided with another business class passenger. Deboshir was given a verbal and written warning, then he was bound by other passengers and after the flight was handed over to the police and the FBI.
Need more examples?


[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №149132
 17.02.2018
I have studied the Gospel for many years. I reviewed each frame, looked backwards, watched without sound, without video, watched on two screens at the same time, watched with maximum contrast, watched in Japan, at a familiar Japanese, watched at night, day, morning, evening.
It took 2000 hours. But I got out.
Evangelion is another mecha-haremnik without a story.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149131
 17.02.2018
#Sudaryana, go to the cage!

>> It’s interesting why joint eating is considered something refined. and Strong. Or is it a tribal instinct? Like the cows, for example.

It is just assumptions.
1st For the first time as a feeder. The female evaluates the prospects in this area. The male, as appropriate, breaks the feathers.
2nd Per they will have to do this together quite often. Is he crawling and crawling? And suddenly she?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149130
 17.02.2018
“Bla-Bla-Bla... If at least one such hatred raises a hand on my child, I will not whistle and threaten with heavy bodily, as is common here. I will just make it possible for the lover to live on banditic concepts to be in the place where his concepts are loved and appreciated.

This is understandable, you say what you will do with someone else’s child who will shoot your car out of the pneumatic and beat your eye with a pin. You’ll let go of the rabbit with peace, but not.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna