bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №149049
 14.02.2018
Do Dwarfs Have Women? How do they reproduce?
See also: Bayani They just have women too bearded, and the non-dwarf does not distinguish them.
zzz: There is an opinion that the dwarfs themselves are not very different: if after sex there was a child, then it was a dwarf. If after sex the child got you, then the dwarfobab is you.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149048
 14.02.2018
A friend (violinist) here for the first time after moving to our conservatory played in a quintet with a professor (contrabass). He says so fast. We play, and the professor screams at me, “Be afraid, shit!” I drink quieter and more frightened. He whispered again, “Be afraid, shit!”“And the eyes of the wicked are drawn out. Only after playing, I found out that the professor was very carnivorous and said, “More sound!”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149047
 14.02.2018
The Advertising:
- Buy coatlets from the real polar coat. A total of 430 rubles/kg.
- Really, the composition on the mark: farce of the coat, farce of the mint, farce of the shovel.
- Really real: 80 percent of the farce, 20 percent of the truss, 20 percent of the coat (which swam past the truss and the truss)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149046
 14.02.2018
I am a computer teacher at school. Just what came to me and said what the order of the department of education came about what I need to go to the neighboring school in order to undergo remote learning via Skype.
and OK.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149045
 13.02.2018
Phone call in the online store:

Shurshal social network, looking for a decent device, calls to the necessary people to do. I stumbled upon your site, first thought that the topic was blurred, ordered, tossy-bossy, left the numbers. Everything went by the chin-chin. The courier turned out to be far from a muddy man, the phone coughed the nuances of delivery. I walked into the center and gave me my apparatus. The phone is fine, I am pleased. In short, it’s all in the age. It is"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149044
 13.02.2018
From my window, I can see the naked woman.
Have you bought a binoculars?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149043
 13.02.2018
Sberbank has added a messenger to the mobile app.

XXX and the masks. And then the collector will show the bank statement in the order "interesting first", not chronologically.

Zzz: And will also recommend you friends on the sample
"They also like the Five:...",
"Braili Big-Taysti in Nevsky in July:..."
and "How you drive on Uber in credit:...
"Your crows... also took Baltic 7 today in action, go down to the paddock closer to the evening"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №149042
 13.02.2018
Childhood, I am 9, brother 14, parents left, we get a hidden cassette with porn. On the screen, a dad looks at us: “Hello kids, if you see this, I know you got the banned tape.” Only after two hours of sleep panic and we realized that watching this recording does not burn us, overwhelmed and returned to place.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149041
 13.02.2018
During the school years, we visited a classmate. I don't remember exactly how, but we found in the closet a homemade dildo (he has a tower) of giant sizes and a cassette. The tape featured his mother and aunt (the father’s sister) in the shower, engaged in unambiguous lesbian manipulations. The operator’s voice was identified as the voice of the bathi. At that time, we were greatly rattled. A classmate, a poor man, tried to turn it off immediately, but was held back by the forces of friends.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149040
 13.02.2018
The cartoons are embarrassing precisely because they are painted. The healthy brain of most adults does not perceive this image.
Do you think children invented drawing when the adult brain does not perceive the drawn picture? I am afraid to upset you, but healthy people perceive any picture normally. You may have problems with color perception or image recognition – unfortunately, this is genetic and is not treated, just don’t look at any drawn objects, don’t torture yourself.
PS My absolutely healthy brain even periodically sees drawn, cardboard, plastic dreams, while I am not interested in multiculture, movies and TV at all.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149039
 13.02.2018
The entire work of Schnurov in two lines:
Three accords, two accords
Fuck, Fuck and Fuck.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149038
 13.02.2018
You can write shit code and start faster, but it will still take time (and not shit code - see. and above). Not a night after work.
Age is not an obstacle, but not many have the opportunity to abandon work and significantly reduce income for a long time.

VOOOT! I really knew one person, the coder. I dreamed of blurring the startup, in my opinion - a promising one, and so far I started to implement my idea by myself, after work. He suffered for three years, but did not pull, well that he did not drink from overstress. It is unrealistic to work constantly, without rest and weekends, even if you do your favorite business. To quit the job was not an option: first, to feed him to no one, and secondly, the startup itself required initial investments, which he tried to save from his salary. In short, reading all sorts of success stories of today's young and energetic people, I always wonder: who fed them for those years until their business began to give a stable income? And almost always there are parents-businessmen who made the initial capital in the devastating 90s... unfortunately.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149037
 13.02.2018
Oh the great dragon! Have mercy on us, for we have no more virgins. Will you sacrifice this virgin?
Hm... Is he pulling on the mide?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149036
 13.02.2018
My daughter (7 years old) said:
It is good to be a man...
and Dad:
Have you tried?
Have you tried?
I found nothing to answer.)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149035
 13.02.2018
Pictures of Oil

>> And the cartoons are embarrassing precisely because they are painted. The healthy brain of most adults does not perceive this image.

Eck you are now on all artists and lovers of painting...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149034
 13.02.2018
The Multicolor
Why is an anonymous diagnosis disrupted? I just want to, then I will watch, even the sauss park, even the homosian hentai (I don’t know exactly how it’s right), even the clangers. This is not illegal, so if I can, I will. Make yourself a diagnosis, for example "mania go not into your business"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149033
 13.02.2018
One summer I visited my grandmother and there was an accident. Not with me, but my uncle. He got under the car and severely broke his leg. But it was not easier for me.

His leg was sealed with iron sticks so that it became like the leg of a Terminator. He sat on the couch all day and watched TV. In principle, it was fine, but there was one big and disgusting “BUT”.

He himself could not get up from the couch and if he had to get up, he called for help. I rushed and grabbed the steel structure, pulling his foot out of bed. I also raised her back.

He also had two daughters, but they were weaker than me and could not do that.

And he called me even when he wanted to go to the toilet. And since he was lazy to walk, he urinated in the bowl, and I had to pour it out.

I hated those moments. I waited with horror for him to call me and started shaking from his voice. Finally, I was tired of it, but to refuse, considering my age, I did not know how and just hid.

Without calling me again, he apparently realized that I was licking and introducing a new tactic. He shouted, “Daughters! Find him! “” And my cousins ran around the area looking for me and finding me somewhere on a tree or in the raspberries, and sometimes in the basement, touching me with their fingers, whispering, “He’s here!”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149032
 13.02.2018
... we once had such a guru (he started. The department), called all the wrong-looking fucking coders who broke the prodrugs. Finished the insult with the phrase: "I want to know what a fool did this. Tell me the name of that idiot.
I had to show him in the logs his own name.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149031
 13.02.2018
# See also

>> Guy, if you learned that someone from your friends is watching and reviewing cartoons about the same dragons + also a series about them, and watching alone - you would probably think that he is at least weird, right?

not so. So if he looks at the "Kitchen", "URF" and other different "physers" – then yes, he’s strange.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149030
 13.02.2018
GT, talk about selling video cards after mining:
XXX: The video cards appeared. While the owners want to return the maximum, describing “as new”. Not beaten, not painted. I swear by my mom!
YYY: "Not bit, not painted." -Not bit, not coin.
ZZZ: Grandpa played in Sapera
VVV: At the minimum levels.

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