bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149029
 13.02.2018
And the cartoons are embarrassing precisely because they are painted. The healthy brain of most adults does not perceive this image.

I understand that even films with special effects your “adult brain” doesn’t perceive either.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149028
 13.02.2018
I gave the baby to my grandmother for a week. We took it for a day for ourselves, walked on sandwiches from the mountain, entered a tree. With the cushion and sardine in the whole forehead was given back for another week. Parental duty is fulfilled.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149027
 13.02.2018
I was upset that I was whispered in the transport when I was tired of eating while sitting from work, and some 25-year-old woman was standing, because she has more rights by default than I have.

My dear, and tell me, in which city of our beautiful country are seats in the transport given to healthy and not pregnant 25-year-old women? I am 53, and in my whole life I remember only a couple or three times when I was given a seat. I had to jump up in my youth, giving in to those who were a little older than I am today. And today this is not practiced at all, even in girls, not to mention boys. So you are a villain, and it was a pregnant woman with all the accompanying (dullness, dizziness, back pain, etc.).And then they drowned another "humiliation of the male sex" out of the finger.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149026
 13.02.2018
#grammarnacyredge
Do you know this set of words that many (including me) fabulously rage because of the stupidity of the mistake?
Android, debilloid, reptile, wars and so on.
So here’s what I’ve just stumbled upon a word that personally became a cherry on this brown cake:
"This gives little benefits"
God for what, for what? Flying into the orbit of Pluto on popcorn

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149025
 13.02.2018
I am a member of Generation Z, a young eighteen-year-old girl. (Further praise of the representative of the progressive and proud youth)

I say one thing. "We used to be riders" We will meet in the same place in 35 years (if I live).

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149024
 13.02.2018
I was brought to my office a batch of new MFUs for storage, MFUs in huge cubic boxes. The cabinet is small, therefore the boxes are placed in several rows on each other, blocking access to the window. The cabinet sometimes needs to be ventilated and in order to get to the window, you have to move the boxes in different directions, and getting to the window and opening it - to move the boxes in the opposite direction to get out. In short, I’m now a champion in socban!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149023
 13.02.2018
AAA: My son has recently been fascinated by DOOM, running, dismembering monsters with a gasoline. I open his browser today, there the last request in the yandex is to cut the heart. Well, I think it was all, the child went. I found out my wife was looking for a pattern by February 14th :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149022
 13.02.2018
Yesterday was an epic. On the balcony of one of the lower floors fell thrown out some muddle bump, well, all the hollow began to burn. The owner does not live there, the apartment is empty. We call the firefighters, simultaneously trying to call the grandmother, so that the door does not break. They come almost at the same time, the door opened, extinguished, all okay. One of the firefighters asks the aunt, saying that you will not give up the apartment, under supervision would be. To what she answers: yes, I am afraid that the tenants can do little, suddenly the fire will make XD

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149021
 12.02.2018
The conclusion of the service center on the results of the diagnosis of the iPad: the cause of the malfunction is a compot, probably a strawberry.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149020
 12.02.2018
"These Wright brothers are scammers and charlatans, their useless toys are worth huge money, which they by deceit pump out from trusting investors and even the government and unfoundedly advertised beyond any measure, and they themselves are semi-divine idols for their nearby supporters! The technologies of navigation have been established for centuries, why invent a bicycle, because their poor crafts are barely able to break away from the ground and fly a couple of meters?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №149019
 12.02.2018
Synchrophasocarch, it turns out, the father of synchrophasocarch.
Which, if she is virgin and beautiful, sooner or later will have to give to Synchrophasogorinich.
Which differs from the usual Hornych by the fact that its heads are synchronously in the phase, i.e. There can be no such thing as one is still in the manic phase, and others are already in a depressive phase.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149018
 12.02.2018
The problem of road mortality can be solved.
YYY: How, for example?
zzz: Remove the roads and drive only on the fields - then it will be mortality on the fields.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149017
 12.02.2018
The little boy (5 years) heard on TV the expression "dirty dances". He says, “I know dirty dances, it’s when you have to remove everything so that you don’t get upset... even cowards.”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149016
 12.02.2018
Some news wrote about the future premiere of the film about the young Han Solo, calling it "Han Sala".
is impressed.
What an image!
What a drama!
Han is Sala! And his friend, Visir Spika. And the enemy is Padishah Bacon.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149015
 12.02.2018
XXX: The Fish
Among them there is a division into primary and secondary consumptions as among mammals on predators/herbivores?
YYY: Yes of course
There are very few fish. Mostly they eat invertebrates (already consumptions of the second order), and they are eaten by fish-eating predators, and even there are fish that eat only other, less fortunate fish-eating fish.
The xxx:
That is, can you say that among the fish there are consumptions of 4-5 orders?
Essentially
YYY: May be
And we can say that all these consumption orders cannot in principle be described by discrete mathematics.
That, however, does not deprive the concept of order.
The xxx:
Fishing and Discrete Mathematics
Discreet fishing!
YYY: Better
The fish mathematics.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №149014
 12.02.2018
The mistake of the survivor is "judging by the stories of those who played Russian roulette, you always win".
and your KO.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149013
 12.02.2018
Dano: Cottage in the territory of the hospital (for staff (i.e. doctors)
> Find: Car worth less than 700t.p.
The answer is: 0 pieces.

It would be good for statistics to indicate the total number of doctors in the parking lot.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149012
 12.02.2018
here here.

With GT, discussion of the construction of the cable road to Everest:

by Alcpp:
“The speed of the wind at the top can reach 200 miles per hour.”
With this wind, the cable road turns into a straw.

Here is he, here is the engriberds of my dreams.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149011
 12.02.2018
Is it normal that ithapopens has not been updated for two years?
Could he be officially buried?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149010
 12.02.2018
Every man must build a zig-zag, complete the research and get the power that his father never dreamed of.

A real man

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