bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №94234
 21.02.2014
I know why our hockey and figure skating merged: the master’s eye turned west and watched the Maidan!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №94233
 21.02.2014
Once, my mother and I went to the oculist for a consultation. The weather was ugly. I go and notice that a rubber gum is attached to my boots. I let her tear off with the other leg, tear off, tear off, and she only got more and stretched! My mom started trying to rub her off, too with her legs, and the gum can't give up! Take her hand, and pull her hand! This was my pink socks. The shoe broke, and a piece of socks fell out, and we pulled it! I did not go to the oculist.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №94232
 21.02.2014
The Lady:
I live alone with a child for a few years. Everything in the apartment started to break down.
What wording should I use for acquainted men to repair the computer / pin the nail, etc. To be understood correctly? I am afraid they don’t understand me (

Question: " 500 to 1000 rubles. Is it enough?" And it is better to call sanitary technicians / electricians, etc., if the acquaintances should do it for free, do they do nothing more? Or then they are friendly to cook a pot of soup and wash the floor?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94231
 20.02.2014
A colleague (K) works as an engineer-constructor, often struggling to simplify structures whileining their efficiency. Talk about cinema:
K: By the way, I went to the new Robocop yesterday.
I : Yes? How about you? Liked it?
Q: Well... I think there are too many extra details in it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94230
 20.02.2014
Announcement of Sale:

xxx: 6 mech for 2000 rubles. Separately 300 rubles
You are a God of marketing.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94229
 20.02.2014
XXX is listening. Do you have problems with kindergartens?
There are no gardens, no problems.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94228
 20.02.2014
And you know, education is a complex process.

Well, those who try to “educate” according to the “do not as I do, but as I tell you to do,” really do nothing, and the process seems complicated and unpredictable.

Children are raised exclusively by personal example and up to 6-7 years maximum. To further educate late, the core of the personality is formed, you can only develop what came out.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №94227
 20.02.2014
Commentary on the Switzerland-Sweden match:
Lundqvist meditates at the gate.
Look at the hockey!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №94226
 20.02.2014
Here is here:
She had two phones, one normal, and a fluorous iPhone!! to
— — —
"-Vasily Ivanovich, how is Tuesday written?
Look at the dictionary.
- I looked, there was only a flag and a foam on F."
)))))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94225
 20.02.2014
Russia's football team was remembered and cursed, even where it did not participate - this is an indicator!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №94224
 20.02.2014
The friends. Stop asking me for debt. I am running out of my imagination to come up with a reason for rejection.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94223
 20.02.2014
xxx: Unfortunately, those like me, “sows,” have long understood that “24/7 tech support” actually means that at night there are psychotherapists sitting in the sapport, under one or another sauce, persuading to tolerate the solution to the problem until the morning.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №94222
 20.02.2014
Nathalie: I am in Kiev now.

A: How is the sitcom?

Nathalie is sitting.
Nathalie: Because of this situation, I wonder how much time I will spend in Kiev now (

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №94221
 20.02.2014
The husband came from work, and we are in his room with his daughter on his compass watching a movie.
M: See, my computer, my seeds have been eaten, my mineral have been drunk!
We leave, and I vengeantly add:
We were still lying on your couch, hiding your cribs and smoothing your cat!! to

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94220
 20.02.2014
But this is something that is not possible in Russia, and it is possible in the West - I did not remember.
-
Gay marriages and gay marriages

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94219
 20.02.2014
XXX: They also jumped to confirm that they didn’t jump.
The mosquitoes are jumping. The Ukrainians are jumping.
YYY: Several people have already burned on this. They asked to jump, and they jumped.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94218
 20.02.2014
Has anyone seen the new Euro?
YYY: Yes, I have not seen the old man for a long time.
ZZZ: With such prices, they will be like Olympic socks, only for collectors
YYY: Oh, and you will be able to see only on the Internet, low-resolution jpeg, downloaded from a pirate site through torrent.
ZZZ: Dad, did you really ever have the euro?
No child, it is fantasy. And in general, do not get distracted, dig the roots, or there will be nothing to eat for lunch!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №94217
 20.02.2014
"It is good that Vasilyev and Serdyukov did not roll out the torrents. You could go to jail."

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №94216
 20.02.2014
I study the topological editor MentorGraphics. Everybody is tired! The interface is hostile, the options and menus are flawed so that finding without a manula or a half-liter is unrealistic, on any of your actions he declares that you are a fool, and he himself knows how better, even if you are 100% sure of the opposite, in the institute after him one two-hour course of study introduced. I don’t know how this can be used in real life. But it’s not about that, it took whoever to do, respectively, the benefits of the Internet to learn and stumbled on the chic:
The guy has blogs in which he describes the process of getting acquainted with various programs and editors. The last blog begins with a huge enthusiastic post about MentorGraphics, about plans to explore it, briefly about the expected opportunities seen/read, etc. In short, this post dates back to June 2011 and ends with the line “Good way!” My blog has not been updated since then. So, I turn to his treating doctors, he is normal! You stream him to study something easier, to study and you can write out. Do not ruin a person’s life.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №94215
 20.02.2014
You just don’t know women. If you like her, you can urinate in the washer. And if you don’t like it, make her an English queen, she won’t care about you.

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