bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109623
 19.02.2015
XXX: I have a group member from the Patent Office.
XXX: There, by the way fucking
XXX: He says they apply for eternal engines almost once a month
YYY: how about without this.
XXX: Once the man did not agree that the guy rejected the patent, stuck with his graviola to them in the office
XXX: and says "And where do you have the rosette?"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №109622
 19.02.2015
to there:
here here :
On February 15, 2013, the meteorite that flew to us, took all the glasses in our room (a building of an old building, windows 3 meters high), was quite awful. On February 16, 2014, there was a fire in our building, 4 fire cars, the building was full of smoke, firefighters drove people out, too, it was terrible. What will happen on February 17, 2015?

News on February 17:
Three suns rise over Chelyabinsk

Inhabitants of Chelyabinsk in the morning watched three sunrise over the city at once. A rare optical phenomenon is called pargelia (in Greek: false sun).

Looking forward to February 18, 2016)))) (all the city;) )

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109621
 19.02.2015
120 out of the city, 80 in the border of the city!!!
As everyone goes, so are you.
— — —
the giraffe)
Annie on the subject.
What is 90-60-90?
Eeda in the city by the way of Haishnikov.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109620
 19.02.2015
"Fall, you're the ass?" - This is such a wonderful SMS I got in 2009, when the car replacement was much more thoughtless =) And the classmate just wanted to know if I was home.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109619
 19.02.2015
A common boiler, not a common boiler, loops, separately, take over, collect...
People, with whom are you living? Is your family like that?! to
My wife and I both make money and spend as much as we need.
We buy food, we buy food. To feed cats means to feed cats. We need to repair, we buy what we need. Whoever goes to the store is buying. I have no money, I take it. It is missing, I will add. Because it is all ours, for us.
I won’t buy a new computer when she needs boots, and she won’t buy boots if my car is broken. Everything is interrelated.
And if you have accounting there and shares are scheduled - this is not a family, it is at best a temporary partnership.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №109618
 19.02.2015
XXX: I go to work after yesterday’s walk. The chef looks at me for a few seconds, then goes to his office, returns with a cup of cognac and says, “Pay.”
I would have such a boss.
XXX: It’s not all! After that, he takes the drink, looks at me already in disgrace, nods his head and says, “At work and under the grade... Oh, you’t be a good specialist – you would have fired the napig... To come in the right shape tomorrow! Free!" - unfolds and hides in his office under the blind eyes of colleagues. Five minutes later, when I am happy with life, I get home from him by SMS, a GREAT SMILE comes! I am 58 years old!!! to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! The Beautiful!
In those moments I understand why I am still working in this office.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №109617
 19.02.2015
I’ll tell whom you’re hurting. The wives of these goats, their children. And all why? And because b...di do not see the difference between married and not, they are just a stick and all. They may, then, why out of that (this) cute drunkeness (trist, dissatisfied conversation with husband (wife) or others). Can not? Sex, then stormy apologies to the family, divorce or just a disarray. B went on. She has no morality. She is not decent.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Well, here the claims should be made not to the fools, but to the husbands. A husband - usually an adult, independent person, must be aware of the consequences of his actions.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109616
 19.02.2015
Do you think that all feminists are unscrupulous? Quite the opposite: feminists are the best partners and friends of men. They see a man in you, not a wallet on your legs with a cock on the front.
and----
+100 but there are nuances. For some reason, feminists like to call themselves ordinary male haters. They are the loudest of all the tricks, get to the wrong shirts and show the world hellish inadequacy, so most will think that a typical feminist is an untouched straw without brains, and fucking you will persuade someone. It is sad (

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №109615
 19.02.2015
I bought a talking doll. Well, such as: "play with me", "feed me", "song me a song" and so on.
Two hours later, a little girl cries out of the kitchen:
When will you be infected?! to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109614
 19.02.2015
Here you are here for family meetings, a common budget, a separate budget. My husband and I didn’t have any money to pay for it. All of BOBRA.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №109613
 19.02.2015
February 20, 1975 Tom and Jerry
The Cat Mouse

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109612
 19.02.2015
The most pleasant woman I ever met was a recurring fraudster, involved in robbery and drug trafficking. Beautiful, charming and with humor. With higher education. With a clear life position. I would have robbed her, such a woman! I am an investigator. You don’t know anything and believe everything you’re told? The easiest thing is to talk to her best friend. You will know everything. Damn, but even in one eye, you will learn a lot. Now every fool is happy about himself to call the whole world, in every detail. Nothing on the net, nowhere at all. I would be careful here.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №109611
 19.02.2015
Today I call at the closest office:
Hi, can you tell me, is there a law enforcement department in your branch?
The girl on the line:
Working with J. Persons?
I grind about myself that I am so frozen, I put on the phone.
We need to read less news.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №109610
 19.02.2015
I lived in a family with a "common boiler". In fact, it resulted in "what is yours is ours, what is mine is mine". It was funny - the value of the gifts I made was checked for the balance of money in the common basket. Even if I liked the gift. If I didn’t like it, I’d like to talk about "that we could spend that money on..."If I bought a gift from the asshole – "and why didn’t you put that money in common?!"If I’m excited why she’s wasting her money – "I’ve earned it and I’ll spend it as I think it’s necessary". So naker-naker your common boilers. A clear amount for household expenses (communal and wage), the rest - according to the situation. Hungry, of course, no one is going to starve, and money will be found for the necessary thing, but all kinds of excesses - at their own expense.
--------
The general budget, the joint management of the host and the family in general is recommended to create only with adequate girls, and not with dumb thorns.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №109609
 19.02.2015
On the forum: "How can I wipe the mounting foam from the fingers? B%%... now even from the keyboard... ".

I do not know how the author of the anecdote, and my children were washed with the help of horrors: "Mother will come - will kill!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №109608
 19.02.2015
The girl from whom you don’t even expect to hear the word "jopa" makes this phrase:
I go to the pharmacy, ask for vaseline, and the pharmacist looks at me as if she had never been fucked in the ass!
The company of burned military sharps repelled their legs with fallen jaws)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109607
 19.02.2015

See also: HK
HK is yes?
Say something pleasant.
Or sweet
or lazy
Or something
NC: I would like to see you.

to embrace
synchrophasetron

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109606
 19.02.2015
XXX: The drug addicts
xxx:The printer is networked, we will connect it via usb through 2 extenders and we will suffer
YYY: Did you tell them not to forget to use their head as intended?
xxx: To my painful and suffering question “Why?” they answered with such an empty gaze that in the pupils I saw a small and lonely neuron running around the neck bone of the skull.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109605
 19.02.2015
All the babies are fools, all the men are fools, happiness at work.

Where does it all start? from acquaintance. Girls choose those who know best how to meet, communicate with, who is interesting, etc. But strangely, it attracts other girls as well. Therefore, such guys do not experience a shortage in the attention of the opposite sex, and therefore little value one particular girl. So if it’s stuck with something, then yes – feats and stars from the sky. If not, go and find another.
No normal guys? Yes, just look not there. They do not always know how to be charming and make acquaintances, dress "spontaneously" and so on. Since they live alone, they know how to cook / wash / clean, and will appreciate the person who is nearby. Pay attention to those you usually don’t notice. Don’t get into the extremes, enough some phrase like "lead me after work, I’m bored to go alone".
(And don’t give the example of familiar shit, there are fools everywhere)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109604
 19.02.2015
xxx: Hi, urgently tell, language of some Aborigines, pronounced type "nu a huli"
YYY:...
YYY : Swahili?
xxx: Oh, of course, of course, of course

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna