bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №60338
 19.02.2012
Q: Well, when is sex intended?
I don’t know when, and I don’t know where.
XX: in the car
I’m not in the car...I’m already out of that age.
I have to put my bed under a warm blanket.)
Better not to fuck, but to eat the fairy tales.
Which is :))))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №60337
 19.02.2012
You can’t buy health, but it costs a lot of money. Bakutkin

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60336
 19.02.2012
How not to sleep...

Today there is a possibility to receive a pension earned in Russia if you live outside of it. Of course, this is not easy and not everybody, and it does not always succeed. First of all, you need to prove that you are alive – provide a certificate from the Russian consulate that they saw you alive this year. Then this certificate must be sent to the Pension Fund of the Russian Federation, and this fund will charge you the pension for the same year. But this is only if the certificate is not lost in the mail, or elsewhere - in the corridor, for example. What if they lose?

The 2012 year. I watch a heartbreaking scene at the consulate’s notarial department. The old lady is hysterical and tries to get a certificate from the consulate that she was alive in 2010. It was for the whole of this 2010 year that she was not charged a pension, because "certificates of being alive for 2010" in her case in the Pension Fund for some reason is not. She learned about this only now, in 2012, because if the pension is transferred monthly, then its size is not enough to pay for its transfer abroad,
(the sender or recipient-pensioner will have to pay an additional amount.) Therefore, usually the pension is accumulated on the book, and then spent, coming home. So this old lady came, and nothing to spend: whether she was alive or not without a certificate was unknown, but the pension was not calculated. Fortunately, there were no problems since 2011 – as the reference was attached, and no doubts about “being alive” for this year did not arise.

But this, I repeat for the careless, in 2011. And in 2010, the situation is quite different, throughout this year, there is still complete uncertainty about "the fact that the old lady is alive", and, therefore, there can be no pension for 2010. Definitely need a certificate of being alive in the year 2010, and then - here you for the year 2010 pension.

Here is the old lady crying at the window of the implacable notary of the consulate, and her relatives persuade him to write today, February 15, 2012, a certificate that the old lady was alive in 2010. And how can he write such a certificate, if he did not see this old lady in 2010 and could not see – he then worked in a completely different country that year? He can be fired for this fake.

The notary shows the old lady and her relatives an instruction that no documents can be issued backwards. All documents have their order number, and a certificate, for example, "from February 12, 2010" can not be legally registered and issued in February 2012.

I understood that it was possible to fall asleep in an elementary way by tapping into this story and the arguments of its actors, and rushed to the exit.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60335
 19.02.2012
I drive a car, all the pedestrians are goats. I walk, all the waters are goats. I ride a bicycle, you are all goats!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №60334
 19.02.2012
Governor of Krasnodar region Alexander Tkachev made an unexpected statement during a discussion on Twitter with a local hospital employee.
I am a honey engineer. I get 15 thousand. ! to How to live?” — turned to the official Yuri Budilnikov. “Change the job,” was laconic Tkachev.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №60333
 19.02.2012
yyy: my today bound two tampons and boasted new nunchaks
The idiot...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60332
 19.02.2012
Sergey: I call my aunt to ask how the building is, she doesn’t recognize the type asks who is it?
I’m talking about your favorite nephew.)
You are Vasya?
I am an unloved nephew (

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60331
 19.02.2012
XXX (Tell me about yourself)
yyy: greetings) read the questionnaire, questions will appear - ask =)
xxx: "Yes For example, because I am smarter than you."
X: Is it not sick? Men don’t always like that.
YYY: What is it?
XXX: Don't take this into your head
xxx: "I want to have adult beautiful men"
XXX: Will you find me?
xxx: I’m for real meetings so I’m interested in everyone)
Are you exactly 22?
xxx: yes)))you ask because I write you stupid questions) and especially about sex) agree, stupid ) but I will know what you are capable of)
Yyy: No, I’m asking because by spelling, you’re smiling at a sixth grade student.
xxx: what photos are on? leave a comment.I can then change them or delete them :(
You really don’t know what ortography is?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: So you are beautiful.
xxx: generally now understand I can not delete which photos or not ) and what is spelling if I am there like a small 6th class but beautiful ( small but beautiful?) I don’t understand the Negro)
It’s cool, go on.
xxx thank you ?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60330
 19.02.2012
From the forum of one MMORPG:

xxx: In my opinion, it is disproportionate to see a stroller killing a warrior in a lotus.
Yyy: In my opinion, it’s disproportionate to see how mag... exists.

[ + 34 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60329
 19.02.2012
Fucking that not a new version of Word, then a bunch of no one needs fights. Today, Word took years for grams and offered to convert 1782 to 62.92 ounces. And, of course, I was born almost two kilos, hole.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №60328
 19.02.2012
As my good friend said, “Sir, what kind of friend am I to you? Fuck who is it at all? I see you for the first time that you follow me.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №60327
 19.02.2012
The body is not politically correct. People who have some difficulties with life.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №60326
 19.02.2012
On February 23, all the bored men will receive a gift for a shoe with a hint-Dobby, you are free.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №60325
 19.02.2012
The distant 90s. Telephone without controller.
Daddy is sleeping in his room under a television broadcast.
I am in my lessons.
Suddenly a wounded mammoth rings out: daughter!!!! to
I run, asking what happened?
Daddy: daughter, add the sound.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №60324
 19.02.2012
After viewing "The Hungry Rabbit Attacks":
For the first time in a Hollywood pursuit, the car fails to get ahead of the train! I don’t remember anything else! :) I’m not sorry!

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №60323
 19.02.2012
In one of the National Geographic films about drugs, they show a home lab, say how bad it is and immediately describe the entire manufacturing process with all the ingredients. How is it? 0_o

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №60322
 19.02.2012
Is it a bird or a fish?
This is cake.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №60321
 19.02.2012
The StarCraft II:
XXX: I am 18 years old.
YYY: I am 25. In the cold water.
zzz: Comrades, I’m so big that it causes tide and rejects sunlight. Stop arguing and tell us how to play ZvT against a double reactor.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №60320
 19.02.2012
If a girl is so ugly, what prevents you from being with her?
Bentley: Is it such a hideous car that it prevents you from driving on it?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №60319
 19.02.2012
I am playing Heroes 5. Suitable for Mom.
Oh, and what are you doing?
I play.
Who is so beautiful with ears?
They are elves.
And what are you doing with them?
I kill them, mother, I kill them.
O.O

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