@IRAkezzz: On Saturday I decided to put the cat on a diet, or it became too fat. Today she gave birth. What are you ready for for food?! to

Start of sales of the first Russian smartphone. The night. A crowd of people, waiting for the precious hour, gathered in front of the salons of the MTS. Just so. and portion.

Web site of vacancies, advertisement board:
A serious job, a serious person, with a serious salary.
Kill Who Should I Kill?

Do you want your child to have a date of birth on 11.11.11? Then you know what to do tonight! ?

20:56:33 xxx: Japan refuses to recognize the results of World War II
21:10:27 Yyy: If Stalin had moved the Chechens to the Kurils, Russia would have two fewer problems now.

Fuck it!! to

I lie down, click on the telephone controller, I get on the TNT, through which the DOM-2 goes, I switch on, and the controller, the fox, stopped clicking, the batteries faint. I started to knock on him... At this moment my mom comes in and sees DOM-2 on TV:

and ah! I got hit!! to

XXX: They want to have a new child
YYY: What happened to the previous one?

XXX: Girls, how much does the simplest small sewing machine cost?
The smallest sewing machine is a needle.

I’m in my pink pyjamas in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. The husband sits on the back of the board and knocks a knife: skyr-skyr, skyr-skyr... And suddenly says:
You are so helpless in this pyjamas.
And then with a knife at the point: skyr-skyr, skyr-skyr...

Haishnikovs have 12 days to choose their sexual orientation.

It is difficult to take the news of the riots in Egypt seriously on the Euronews channel, which is commented by the same guy, who in his childhood sounded Alpha.

Conversation in chat.
Hello, are you all alive?
Death: There is
It is fun)))

Xap3K 22:49:28
Anti-spam by Gentlemen
Soft feet, and in the legs - scratches!

Rilos Delms
22:49:35 The Cat
22:49:41 the cat
22:49:44 by Kitty
22:49:48
22:49:57 fucking in the mouth fuck
22:50:09 KISS
22:50:12 The Cat
22:50:13 The Cat
22:50:15 Nursery
22:50:17 no one
22:50 to 20 Blonde
22:50:25 Kitty
22:30 to Fuck
22:50:34 The Tiger
22:50:36 lion fucking
22:50:40 The Panther
22:50:45 horse
22:51 to Fuck

Xap3k
09:53:47 :D
09:54:02 I am sorry. The answer was a cat, I just fell asleep.

A friend recently told a sad story:

I’ve been such a fucker since I was a kid. In the kindergarten, the teacher told us a story about a little girl who entered one ear of a cow and came out of the other (a little cowboy). So, I was a curious guy, not long thinking of the scale, stuck the pencil of his neighbor on the stool in the ear, hoping that he will come out of the other... but the blood went out.
Morality: it is inappropriate to tell children such dumb tales, children can be too curious

My client killed me today. He calls and says that the director has asked to dictate al. The address to which the documents should be sent. It dictates:
“E” Russian..., tires..., em..., a..., and with a point..., el..., two-pointed. to Goodbye. He puts the phone.
The curtain...

Russian scientists finally invented the artificial liver..." and where would you think? Of course in Chelyabinsk. and :)

My friend loves coffee, I prefer tea, so when we meet, we drink vodka.

The Naked King
Somewhere in the distant Moscow was the Olympiad, but it was not only there, on the bike tracks, but also in Lviv. We were also surprised by the unexpected.
“Doping” in the form of previously unprecedented in the sale of goods: Baltic “Juvs”, overseas cigarettes and unpredictably “throwing” Czech shoes
“The Boots.”
I am thirteen years old and my parents and I regularly go to visit friends, watch the Olympics in color (!) and telecast.
What else to dream about...?
One day I was sent to a store to buy bread and, if I was lucky, to stand for butter.
Already on the way to the gastronomy, my heart was filled with a joyful anxiety: the tumultuous crowd began long before the entrance.
He added a step to take the line before the other molecules on all sides.
Adjusted, learned who in front of whom five people ahead, in one word - strengthened in line.
I ask :
What are we standing behind?
Half of the people loved surprises and stood "in the dark", the other half issued mutually exclusive versions:
It looks like a chicken.
What are the chickens? The soup sets.
No chickens, there’s some fish hernia. I saw her nearby.
You don’t know, there are river eight-legged rivers.

Three hours later, as a child, I pressed to my chest a healthy calmar wrapped in a gray paper.
He stood up to the exit through envious looks and screams: “Hey, seller!
Let’s just get one hand in one hand!! We are in vain here!!“?”
My mother was in a cultural shock.
Dad even took the lens to better consider my trophy.
It is not for you to stand up for a pack of oil and not even for mayonnaise... Here is a beast overseas, unprecedented: with long hips, such only Senkevich saw live. I love the Olympics!! to
At the family council it was decided to put a large reception for tomorrow around the calmar, (although if anyone is interested in my opinion - then I was for the calmar to dry, and then I could play with him in the attack of a giant eight-legged on pirate ships... the offer for some reason did not pass).
Called a lot of people tomorrow, even my mom’s boss from work.
Poor poor in our calmar kilogram two and a half, although a piece of everyone will get, there will be something to remember before death...
The cooking troubles went into a small nuance: the internet didn’t work with us that day (I won’t even mention why...) And in the cooking books of the 60s, somehow we forgot to write about calmaros...
Mom had to fantasize on the move.
We asked the neighbor for a foil for baking, salted, sprinkled, carefully wrapped our "gate" and put on a slow fire.
In the kitchen began to walk overseas scents... I don't know what to compare, well not what would be pleasant, but very original.
Father explained that all the unknown scares, but if we lived on the shore of the ocean, it would be for us - the best smell in the world.
and nothing. You get used to good quickly.
By the evening, as hungry teas came to the guests.
Everyone got a little bit, not in a hurry.
Everyone said, “It’s delicious, and most importantly, it’s tasty. Although a small piece, but a lot still do not eat, you immediately feel full... and smell... original.
People live, they can eat it every day.”
My sister was only two years old, but she was also given a try.
She bite, bite and immediately spit out.
The guests laughed very much, saying that she would not like black caviar either... and she would know what she refuses...
One evening went to fame, Dad moved to the piano and began to give up fun music.

The first was my sister...
And then me.
Within ten minutes, all the guests came together.
Like popcorn when baked, one will explode, the other, you can’t guess who is behind whom.

We all saw the calmar for the first time in our lives, how did we know that it had to be crushed from the shit before it was hot?
Oh... it would be better to dry up and attack pirate ships with it...

Police Inspector of Road Regulation (PIDR)
Unified Inspection (GEI), but it all started with the usual blue numbers.

Why do all girls think that February 14 is another March 8?