The lack of tattoos is so sexy.

It was long. Good morning, I am at work, so get up early. As usual, I go to the bathroom in the morning. As always, I want to sleep terribly. I lazyly turn on the water and drove me to wipe my eyes, so thoroughly, and both at once. Their seconds are 3-4. I clean my hands, I open my eyes and... the darkness, absolute. The water rushes. To admit, there was some panic at that moment. I stand, I don’t know what to do. I try to feel something with my hands and panic thoughts in my head. On the edge of my eyes, I see some white strip in the floor area. I approach her carefully, laying my hand on the wall and realizing that it is a light from under the closed door to the bathroom. I push the door and see my apartment in the dim rays of the morning sun.

It turned out that at the moment I closed my eyes, the light in the house turned off. Such relief as when I came out of the darkness of the bathroom, I have never experienced.

If all Russian oligarchs share their wealth, the pension in Russia will double and the retirement age will fall to 60 years.

I often called a taxi to one address. But the house is too big and the entrance to which you need to go is already on another street. The difference between the 200 meters points is obtained. I always write about this in the "comments" when calling from the app, that "you need to go from the other side." But nobody ever came to the desired place. I always had to run those 200 meters. One day the car was waiting for me at the entrance. I sat in the car and thanked the driver. But he did not react and we went. It turned out that he was deaf and therefore read the entire order to the end, including the "comments".
So think now who has limited opportunities, the healthy or the disabled.

The Ministry of Education cancelled the EGE on foreign language. This encourages students to leave Russia.
In the medium term, the plan is to abolish physical education, which teaches how to escape from Russia, as well as geography, which shows where to escape from Russia, and of course, a story that tells why to escape from Russia.

One of my friends had a cat. Absolutely white. The cat lived on its own. I came when I wanted it. He did not respond to any calls or calls.

The acquaintance proudly said that he was the embodiment of pophysm and independence. Fuck, I wanted you to be a skin shit.

Because the cat was picked up on the street, he was not sick. No vaccines were made to him and the veterinarian was shown 1 time and then the cheapest, because where the students got the money.

And here somewhere in 10 years of life the cat got sick. Everyone has been working for a long time, the cat was a family favorite, so I went to a good veterinary clinic. After a thorough and thorough examination, a diagnosis was made. Then the veterinarian asked:

How do you live with a deaf cat?

In the sense of deaf?

What did you not know? The doctor was surprised. He does not hear Nirvana. This is a very common pathology of ears in white cats. Especially if you are completely deaf.

Then it became clear the reason for the pride and independence of the cat.

I drowned somehow home from work, and the smell of baking still in the hallway caught me on the arcane and pulls inside... I jumped into the kitchen, and there is a full plate of small appetizing cake-cooked. With a bowl of course! My beloved wife knows how sweet I love, and here it is. The saliva immediately filled the mouth, it is about to start dropping. And the size is so suitable that the delicious immediately enters the whole between the teeth. I directly felt how I put a spoon on my tongue, pressed it from the top, and in all directions a thickened-yo-yo-yo-yo. Oh oh!

I couldn't stand up, the cake in my mouth, the jaw crushed, and there was such an ugliness! Something bitter, sharp, salty, ugly, thief! Horror is something unhealthy! Elie stood up not to spit out. But the strong! Destroyed...

It turned out, the wife of the profitroles baked and filled each with cheese and garlic mass. I love and respect that too. Half the plate I did not notice. Incredibly delicious!

But when the brain waited for one taste and already gave all the commands, and the tongue got quite another, then, it turns out, you can't even recognize that you chew... Just concentrating the denial and rejection of such a sublime deception...

In 2006, when the main engines of romance were Isikyu and Quip, my girlfriend fell in love with a stranger from the internet. He found her "accidentally", wrote to a friend, but missed the cyphoric... Well, and then followed a year of midnight conversations and promises to meet. But all in any way, the time passed, and the girlfriend stuck in the prince of the network more and more, said that they are soul-mates, that it is only once in life and she met her fate! The prince even sent some photos to her sometimes, like a cute guy... The girlfriend generously responded with her photos and fantasized about their life together. Sometimes they even called together, but the guy was humble and quickly translated the communication back into the test format. “His voice is strange, but it makes him nervous.” And most importantly, he was distinguished by some magical insight and poetry. When the mood of my acquaintance broke, he could write something like, “I felt you were sad, look up at the sky, it was one for two!” “And there, you can imagine, two birds fly around the sky! It is us! It is a sign!” There was only one “but”, the prince was from somewhere in Siberia, my friend from the Volga. Distances are not cosmic, but, in those young times, seemed insurmountable... But for now! Both of them went to institutions in Moscow. Let it be different, but it doesn’t matter... The case even came to a joint choice of an apartment for rental, on the Internet, but it’s a step! Here is the day X. The first meeting! And Daniel turned out to be the girl of Dasha. Not just from the next class, but from the next class. She literally stalked her chosen woman, miraculously not giving herself. The photo of the prince she skillfully subtitled from the internet, but most importantly, she sincerely believed that their future is possible and my girlfriend will understand and forgive everything. The worst thing is that it happened. After the institute, they both moved to the Netherlands and have been happy together for 15 years.

Our school is full of practitioners. There has never been such an invasion. This is due to the fact that in the cities where they are taught, mainly distance learning, and we have all the classes are taught on a regular basis. The practitioners are fun people. One of all the students calls on you that it is not accepted at all in the village. The students are embarrassed and silent. Today, on a big shift, he, reddened, told (he is a computer scientist) that several nine-grade students in the class were watching freelance pictures, and asked advice on how to punish them. After that, the chemistry teacher told her an adulterous story:

The case was in the mid-1980s. One of the boys attracted to the school magazine Playboy. All day he walked on the hands of his classmates, because they saw it for the first time. In physics class, the teacher took out the magazine. He considered it for a long time, and then took it to the director of the school. The scandal broke out terrible. The real question arose about the exclusion of a supporter of sexual education from school. Meeting of Parents. One momma, by the way, a methodist of ROA, emphasized: “Exclude is necessary. I hope my Lenocha didn’t look at that shit.” It seemed that the exile of the student could not be avoided. Here stands up the candidate for the gold medal, Anka Ovcharov, and says: "Then exclude the whole class. They were watching.” And turning to the daughter of the Methodist, she said, "I saw you on geography to confess him." The director wondered, “Are you ready to stay without a medal?” And she said, “Are you ready to stay without a graduate class?” Eventually, it all ended with a strict excuse.

After hearing this story, the practitioners thought. Then the future English woman asked, “What, could you have been expelled from school before?” And the future computer scientist said, “I don’t understand a little, but what is Playboy?”

The question drowned in a general hustle. No, not the practitioners today, not the ones!

The All-Russian Parent Assembly again ended with a resolution: I gave birth - educate yourself, the school does not owe you anything!

As my intelligent grandmother said, if you tolerate a little more, you can get mad.

XXX is school. On the compact, take a screenshot of the desktop, put it on the screensaver, and remove everything from the desktop. Forget that nothing works.

yyy: They also cried over accountants when, in the background of a screenshot, they left all the labels, removing only the labels of Kosynka.

Zzzz: This is funny.

My family and I once visited a friend in Yalta. They came out at the bus station - there are a bunch of local taxi drivers, just on cars without any clamps and hats (it was a long time ago, even before Yandex). There from the station to the house 2-3 minutes to drive, or walking 8-10 minutes, but we tired after the road, and also with bags - asked the taxi drivers how much the trip will cost - they broke the first 1500, we made the blind eyes, they say fine then - for 1000 we will go. We said no more than 200 rubles and went to the local bus stop. While we were waiting for the bus - one of those taxi drivers came unnoticed to us, stood next to us, like not talking to us, and whispered - let's go, just go a little further beyond the stop, so that my colleagues do not see that you are sitting in my car. So we got to the place for 200 rubles instead of a cutter (and then I thought that 200 rubles is somehow expensive, but the high season - all prices are broken, darmoods).

On February 14, I remembered the most original date in my life. At the time when the majority of people were communicating in the aske and mail-ru agent, I spoke to a guy - Roman (as I imagined). I was a first-time student at the time, a guy 7 years older than me, which did not seem to be a big difference, especially since the young man in the photo was still a sympathy.

We met in the park (so that people would be safer). I did not immediately recognize him, because in front of me stood a man under 40, low in height and gently speaking "fooled." Next I am I, R is a novel:

I am Ogo, somehow you are different from Awa.

R - Yes, there is an old photo - I am there 18. Now is 34.

I said 26.

R: I didn’t want to scare you. You are tall!

I - Agha - 1 m 70 cm, Rom.

R – Yes, there’s another nuance – I’m actually Armand... I’m all called Roman.

I am - 😳

Q. Do you want to remember it so as not to get confused? Do you know the song Vintage? Roma Roma Roman – Arman is Arman!

I am unexpected though.

R – Well, once you have gone through the revelations, I want to confess to you immediately – in order to avoid incidents. I worked as a suiter. So, I have a lot of girls I know – don’t be surprised if we meet them anywhere and they will treat me like a mother-in-law.

Is that all I need to know?

R – So far I remembered.

And then I was saved by a phone call - by agreement with a friend, she called every "fire". I apologized for the urgent need to leave and fell into the sunset forever.

And in my head still sometimes sings - "Roma Roma Roman - Arman!"

I live in Riga, I work on the railway I have 15 weekends a month and a constant desire to work.

Seven years ago, on Sunday morning,

An old acquaintance calls.

"Hello, we are here looking for a man, we need to drive to Italy, bring something, how do you?" I have to tell you that my greed for money competes with my love of freedom. I always find out what to carry.

The girl: “You just don’t laugh, mouse.”

“The mouse?”

“Not at all, cat.”

In short, it turns out, the president of the firm, where my friend works, went on holiday to Italy, on Lake Garda, with the whole family and a pet, a rat by the nickname Dominic. Buying a plane ticket, Dominic got worse at takeoff, and at the time of landing he was a half-body. The rest, like all good things, has the tendency to end and the family council decided: the family returns to Riga by plane and the rat, like a white man, rides by car.

I, as a decent person, explain that at both ends it is almost four and a half thousand kilometers and it will be more expensive than all the rats in Riga and even the Baltic. I am informed that I can get an advance right now.

He got together, left, and was there the next evening. Meeting a family: Dad, Mom, two daughters and Dominic. Let's get acquainted, I am given a list with a bunch of conditions:

1st Stay for a day, with the owners, so that the rat gets used to trusting me, or she may have a psychological trauma.

2nd Driving along the route with the least altitude variations, or Dominica can be bad (round for three hours)

Three At least every three hours to stop and ventilate the rat.

4 is Overnight on the way so that Dominic is not tired.

Well, the rest in the same spirit: the music is not to turn on loud, not to smoke, not to leave alone, how to care for, to feed.

On all my hints that these are unnecessary expenses, it was said that everything is paid. We take Dominica, we go. I observe all the instructions, I take care of the rat like a small child, I really understand that if anything happens to him, everything will be bad. To pay tribute to the owners, the rats hotels were booked excellent and not cheap at all.

The last day, due to road work in Poland, broke out of schedule, arrived in Riga about the hour of the night. We were still met by the whole family. They would see the joy of the masters, especially the girls, and I was a little sad to break up with Dominic, used to and he turned out to be a guy of his own.

You judge yourself that it is... the rich have their own wonders... or love for the smaller brothers. I got my money and I was pleased.

Our people, like domestic cars, do not do nothing.

Teachers from Stavropol were fired for non-conformity of salary to the May decrees of the President.
Similar violations the Prosecutor’s Office found in the work of another 813 teachers of the city. On average, they earn 16,352 rubles less than they are obliged by presidential decrees.

XXX is Hi. I have a request for you. Give me money for my clothes, and I’ll give you a picture in that clothes.

YYY: by Shalom There is an elegant counter-offering: give me a photo without clothes and everyone will save. M is?

The seven deadly sins are immortal.

HTTPS://www.anekdot.ru/id/1185794/ The author, Vish, did not like how he was cured unclearly from what, then apparently gave medication for a full course of treatment at home, and then he was unable to immediately call the therapist by phone. At the same time, the author is embarrassed, so he closed the discussion and did not sign. What do you think of this real story?

I got sick a few days before the New Year. Of the symptoms - a temperature above 37 ° C, weakness, lack of appetite. The smell was present, but reacted as if with a slight delay, checked for sharply odoring substances like alcohol. At first, I was not worried, as the loss of smell, as the main symptom, is not, but the temperature steadily increased a couple of times a day and on the fifth-sixth day grew to 38 C. The doctor called through 112, called quickly, described the symptoms. The next day, around 10 in the morning, the doctor of the brigade, which is dealing with the treasurers, called and asked if I had taken the tests. Having learned that the tests did not take, she said that her brigade would not come to me, and that she would call my doctor home. Closer to the evening, the doctor came, took the scraps for analysis, listened to the lungs, gave paracetamol. The next morning I received an SMS about Covid’s presence. Near the evening another doctor came, listened to the lungs, gave Avifavir for 10 days, Amoxiclav for 7 days, Ambroxol, Xarello and Paracetamol, told what to do in terms of self-isolation, and suggested to appoint CT. I specifically emphasize that these drugs were prescribed to me by a specialist after the examination and do not need to perceive the listed drugs as a recommendation for self-treatment. After my consent, I found a window on the CT in the early morning of the next day. The doctor offered to try to get to CT on Scora, described the procedure, but I found it too difficult and took a taxi, went, of course, to the respirator. I didn’t feel very well, but I got there. There was no line, the CT itself took a few minutes, then 10 minutes later I was taken by the doctor. On CT, pneumonia was detected, the doctor confirmed the correctness of treatment and offered a pulse oxymeter for temporary use. I didn’t take the pulse oximeter, I went home with a taxi. Then every day until the end of self-isolation I was called from the clinic, interested in the condition, sometimes called twice a day, seemingly from different institutions; once every two days I had online consultations with a specialist, in total, in my opinion, three times. Amoxiclav had to take 14 days and it was impossible to buy it without a prescription. To receive a prescription, he again called the doctor at home at 112 from the local clinic. The doctor called back, the voice felt that he was wrapped. I told him about the lack of antibiotics, he said that now he has no drug in his hands and suggested to wait until the next day. The next day I just had one pill left for the morning. In the morning the doctor came and brought another package for the second 7 days, although I was just expecting a prescription. In addition, at the end of self-isolation, I was taken twice to confirm recovery.

Yet another moment. For self-isolation, it is necessary to confirm your location at the place of residence. Confirmation requires the installation of certain software on the smartphone. My smartphone is old and the software hasn’t gotten on it. After a call to the SSC. monitoring on the number 495 870 72 96 with the explanation of the situation brought me a modern smart, on which the software got up without problems.

In all this situation, I was helped by more than a dozen people - first of all, doctors, other honey. Specialists, volunteers who delivered and picked up smartphones, telephone service operators, social service operators. Excuse me if I have not mentioned anyone yet. I was examined, consulted, conducted an expensive CT procedure, provided with medications, conducted several coronary tests, offered a pulse oxymeter. I would like to point out that all this is done for free. I was cured of my crown and stopped my pneumonia in time, which could have killed me. I am grateful to all these people. Probably, you can make claims that I did not immediately provide the entire amount of medicines, did not take the CT on the Hospital at a convenient time for me, did not let me sleep calls and SMS of the social service. I had to call somewhere, talk to the operators and wait for something, but it would be a black disgrace. These people personally owe me nothing. They did their job, sometimes risking their health and possibly their lives. All together they helped me recover and I got a debt. I will try to get him back.