bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №43214
 15.02.2011
Lord (18:32:11 14/02/2011)
I was in the subway and I saw a beautiful girl.

KMC (18:32:17 14/02/2011)
well and

Lord (18:32:40 14/02/2011)
This paragraph was interesting! About the conclusion of the Mendeleev-Clapeyron equation from the basic premises of statistics.

Lord (18:32:44 14/02/2011)
Are the girls here?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №43213
 15.02.2011
News on Rambler:
"Bulgaria extradited Russia the haishnik-extortionist"

The first comment:
And to Bulgaria as a sign of gratitude, deport Kirkorov, good exchange! andquot;

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №43212
 15.02.2011
Questions in the Count
What programs do you know
Microsoft Office

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №43211
 15.02.2011
Conversation with a friend:
HH: I’m really crawling the devil’s journey!
Wow, what did you get from? ?
xxx:Yes, just the third guy drops me with the wording "I don't deserve you"

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №43210
 15.02.2011
Google is
A modest question?
Boulay: The boys are sitting down... and where are they lying?
Section 3: Engage

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №43209
 15.02.2011
Google Chrome is unlikely! The most frequently opened tab "new tab" :-)

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №43208
 15.02.2011
- such a topic I have on the comp is Windows Linux and there is no auto launch what to do so it is
Signs of interruption...they thirst for your death

[ + 103 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43207
 15.02.2011
I’m from that generation that you ask a question and it doesn’t send to Google, it doesn’t go to the wiki, it just answers right away.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №43206
 15.02.2011
For an empty plate, the size of a spoon is not important.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №43205
 15.02.2011
Post No. 1
A couple of years ago, he made a documentary about the war and filmed for three days in the Kremlin a company of honorary guards.
How she lives, how she trains and protects the number one post.
Every hour they wrote a shift of guard at the Eternal Fire: first large legs, after an hour - a general plan, after another hour - large faces, after another hour - a different perspective, after another hour... and so on, because they cannot be stopped and asked to go for a second dude.
In a word, ordinary filming vanity.
The deputy of the company Oleg – a good man, in the next shift of the guard, looked at the clock and suddenly says:
“You’re not shooting the soldiers now, but the audience who will watch them.
You will not regret filming.
I was surprised, but listened and did not regret – it turned out to be a wise advice.
We and the operator climbed through the fence, walked through the Eternal Fire and began to shoot the audience through the flame in the foreground.
A new shift was marching, suddenly people opened their mouths, as if they saw not soldiers, but aliens.
I looked up, and indeed the guards and the guards did not go synchronously, but just like robots... and they were all somewhat unlikely the same.
Surprised viewers even forgot to photograph them. It was only then that I realized that the breeder and the two guards were three twins.
Inside, behind the Kremlin fence, all these “cyborgs” turned into ordinary joyful boys, it wasn’t even believed that they were the same supermen who stood there, at the Eternal Fire...
My four-year-old son was turning around, he measured the fours and grabbed everyone for the carabines, trying to plug the stick.
We took small interviews from the soldiers: "Was it hard to stand without movement for an hour?", "What do you feel at the eternal fire?", "What funny or not very funny cases happened at the post?" and so on.
Everyone was very honest about themselves. One day, a drunkard came to the fire, not paying attention to the screams. as a result
"Murlo" got from the clock - a hole in the buttock area, and the clock got a vacation to the homeland, so if anyone is not aware: these guys are far from mannequins in military uniform...
I asked the boys:
Isn’t it hard to hold back when the audience is trying to make you laugh?
You cannot laugh...
They began to tell what Jesuit ways the spectators do, only to "split" the clock: and the rows cringe, and different sounds make, often mess up anecdotes, but you stand, you don't see, but in the guard everything crashes afterwards as undermined. And in the post there is no, this can not be... As if the switch turns off the ability to laugh.
One guy told me how he once stood in the post and then he was accidentally seen by a classmate from the crowd, she was in Moscow by car.
He cried out, “Wanna! by Vanya! It is you or not you!“?”
The clock did not lead the beard.
It is good that the classmate guessed to wait until the end of the hour and go after the guards to the door in the wall.
The guy asked, went out and talked with the girl at the door for twenty minutes.
I liked this story and asked to tell it back to the camera.
The soldier agreed.
The camera turned on, but the guy fell into a stupor (this happens).
The only thing he could make out of himself:
My name is Ivan Ivanovich.

Everyone around just fell in laughter, I think his comrades have since called him Ivan Ivanovich.
The filming ended, we said goodbye to the guys and went for a walk with our son in the Alexandrovsky garden: we ate ice cream, admired the fountains.
Finally, the son wanted to look at the shift of the guard and then go home.
I placed a cotton on my neck and stumbled through the audience closer to the fence itself. Seven minutes and there will be a change.
We wait.
Suddenly the Son, sitting on my stitch, points to the clock with his hand and says loudly:
and Dad! and Dad! See also! This is Ivan Ivanovich!! to
After a second, the clock synchronously (and they all do synchronously...) reddened and began to slowly drop their heads on the chest, hiding their faces under the feathers, then trembled slightly...
Apparently they experienced something intermediate between an orgasm and a micro-stroke.
I quickly took my incentive away.
They are good guys, with humor. Each of them is selected one out of two thousand.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №43204
 15.02.2011
The Supreme Military Council of Egypt has dissolved the parliament and repealed the constitution, but such extreme measures as introducing winter time and changing the name of the police to the militia have not yet been decided.

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №43203
 15.02.2011
The case was so. On New Year's Eve, my grandmother and grandfather, where Deniscu was taken to live for a week, had a tree in a separate room. And under her every night was a small gift, which Deniska found in the morning with enthusiasm allegedly from Santa Claus.
And then one evening he got the grandparents some order, and they said that in the morning there would be no gift from Santa because he was told all about the bad behavior of his grandson.
There is still a cat in the house. very decent cat, taught to the toilet, but not tonight! She wrapped a decent bunch under the tree.
The face of the child, according to the habit of taking a gift the next morning, is remembered by the whole family until now.

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43202
 15.02.2011
Are you really unable to think with your head or are you so comfortable?

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №43201
 15.02.2011
Previously I thought that February 14 was invented specifically to mock those who do not have a second half.
A year ago it turned out that at the time of February 14, the girl was... and I realized that this holiday was invented to mock those who have a second half.

[ + 129 - ] Comment quote №43200
 15.02.2011
Yesterday I broke up with her, so she sent me a photo that night, where she is half naked rolling in bed with a guy!
WOW... WOW...
I sent this picture to her dad. :)

(translated from American bor)

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №43199
 15.02.2011
In Kerch, an 18-year-old local resident wounded two young people with knives at once. One of them died, and the other was saved from death by a pack of cigarettes, in which a knife was attached.
But if you have a pack of cigarettes in your pocket, it’s not that bad.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43198
 15.02.2011
A strange thought revolves in the head: a 12 caliber cartridge enters the smoker in the car.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №43197
 15.02.2011
Best Valentine’s Day Gift for a Girl – Second Playstation Joystick

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №43196
 15.02.2011
I slept here a rhythmed congratulation to one person to send... for some reason the phrase “On Valentine’s Day” doesn’t want to rhythm with anything but “the fucking cattle.” I am afraid you will be offended.)

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №43195
 15.02.2011
Today in the hospital gave blood for analysis, Babylon is 60-65 years old, all on the scourge, my legs hurt, I can't walk. He asks! “Who is the last one?” he said, “Who is the last one?” he stood up. I quietly begin to approach the blood drinker and the grandmother from the place of the meter to 2 jump and the place of the guy) without crushing), I: I approach and say! And then you asked who was the last, if you were to the pit)))))))) a blooddrinker in the rust))) the line just fell out of laughter) and the grandmother pretended to be deaf. Don’t go out with my grandmothers ?

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