A woman in the militia:
My husband has been missing for the fourth day.
Write a statement! What will we tell him if we find him?
First of all, tell me that my mom will not come.

I immediately realized that it was a good company when, when I came to the interview, I saw one of the employees rolled out of the closet and drove it down the corridor to the toilet.

Joodo: What about Sasha Grey’s website?
Yasuo: Well yes.
Jood :D
Joodo: Are you overly interested in Pronom?
Yasuo: Is this a singer, and there is a prow?? to
A singer? Yes, the vocal chord.

And can "joke" with the participation of your minor (and not very) children to publish on other resources, specially created for this?

The girls...!! Oh wake up! Valentine’s Day is gender equality. The gifts are made by each other! :)

A woman is like a lighthouse: first light a man red, then yellow, and finally green. And the man, like the driver - on the yellow already left to look for another lightfor!

Feonix: Do you understand the reason for mistrust?
Immortal: Yes
Feonix: What would you say in your excuse?
It is immortal: no!

Google on "Why people emit gases and how to live with it"
I found a good article that explains everything.
The first comment killed:

10 April 2008 14:36
I wake up at night in a cold sweat, I hear the loud roar of her anus and I imagine the deadly gases like a poisonous cloud leaking through the gap in the door right into my room, and from there through the nostrils IN MY SOUL!!! I am an unhappy person, I lack the moral strength to kill my dog. I tried to talk to her, nothing went well. One day I glued her anus while she was asleep, but in the morning she bit me for it...How can I live? The worst thing about myself is that I started cuddling before I went to bed because of the fear of being a dog... I hate myself and my dog.

But thanks to the author of the article, I finally found peace. The fact is that my dog always loved eating apples for dinner and then doing THIS all night. Now I give the dog apples in the morning, simultaneously opening all the windows in the apartment. When I come in, I only smell the spring, and at night I sleep peacefully. My dog is no longer angry with me because I call her a “perdote and dumb pig,” my life is beginning to get a shade of childlike joy.
thank you!! to

Oh, and he told me in response that in our house from Apple there will be maximum Antonovka.

In the Ukrainian office of the company went to work employee Elena Malevich. The first application in technical support from her: Black screen (the monitor does not work).

We ate dinner together yesterday.
I had to bite after dinner.
Okay noooo, talk more romantically a))
Yyy: followed after the evening meal.

This is the last winter of your life.

About Anastasia our hair:
They say they saw her in the center of Kiev, in the valleys and in the trainers with appetite ate shaurma.! to

Judging by the number of smoking girls, dragons and princesses became one whole.

Kitsunen: I have college across the road. There are periodic ads on loud communication. Just that: "Dear students, we remind you that in 20 minutes, a lottery will take place on the first floor. Among the prizes - a positive assessment on any subject". have survived. O_O

Bog-Trotter: I’ve often caught myself thinking that when Ktolhu wakes up, he just won’t have anything to eat.

xxx: who, well tell me, who with the words "hot poses" comes to mind about the Buryat cuisine?

In the Dota today (14 February)
I: All with a celebration!! to
XXX: Go to the Fuck
I went in the ass.
Zzzz: I want you to die!! to

Bad Valentine’s Day...

A friend talks to his girlfriend about meeting his parents:
He: For some reason you met me earlier than you met my mom.
She: Well, Dad came home unexpectedly...

I woke up yesterday to work. While I was in the shower, my wife stumbled: she pulled a cup of coffee, butter and so on. I ate with pleasure, but the suspicion stuck in my soul. All the way to work, I thought where she was so busy (usually not bringing it to the table in the morning). At work, they that today is St. Valentine’s Day.