XX: Do you know what a real fuckup is? I write for tomorrow at work and it turns out there will be no electricity at home tomorrow from 8 to 5!

In the new program article, the head of the government outlined the strategy of people conservation. Thanks to the national conservation strategy, the head of government expects to increase the population of the country to 154 million people by 2050.

O God, he is with us forever.

"What did he do to fuck us all together"?

SMS from the neighbor’s apartment:

"I am going for a walk. I will be at 12. Take care of your health, my children!

Anastasia: In our family they can rub everything.
Nothing is holy!
I have a family...
I sit and eat soup.
Anastasia: I hear Mom knocks on the door of the bathroom, where Daddy plunged into the hot water
Anastasia: "Whitney Houston, how long will you be lying there?"
Anastasia has drowned.

X: What, the light was cut off?
A: Yes, and you have already come?
I am in the elevator.

It was at the bar at 3 a.m. Next to me was a drunk man sitting and repeating over a glass of water: a rat’s eye, a string of harp, let the water turn into rum. A rat’s eye, a string of harp, let the water turn into rum.

xxx: The customer assignment sent: Simple printing on ordinary paper...
yyy: straight letters in a horizontal line

The Frozen. My sister is going to walk.
Why did I get my third socks?? to
and pause. With a relief:
This is the fifth.
My eighth...

I: Funny, in the club MANChester City the name of the head coach - MANChini
Wife: CSKA will be difficult to find a coach... unless Tsiskaridze agrees

Did you drink this morning?
2 is cognac.

We sit on a pair. Prepod, trying to get our attention:
The guys! (Pause) Well, the girls too... (I think) Although the girls are also guys, only beautiful.

A friend on Twitter:
"I was so unnoticed if, the second time I was lost in the apartment and thought I was swinging somewhere"
XD is

>>Then, let’s recall, the shaikh belt exploded prematurely from an accidental SMS message - the cellular operator congratulated the subscriber with the New Year.>>
Fuck the fuck.

What did you take your car?
No, he just went to the car shop for her half an hour ago.
In my car.
The Fool: The Fool!

Previously, those who were shown on TV seemed to be adults and smart, and now more and more young and stupid.
Joseph of Egypt

History of History

Five years before the Battle of Poltava, Peter the First signed an alliance treaty with King Augustus of Poland and gave him a sword filled with diamonds as a sign of friendship. But Augustus, two years later, secretly concluded another treaty - with the enemy of Russia, the Swedish king Karl the Twelfth, and gave him the sword of the Russian tsar.
Peter through his intelligence learned about this story, however, in need of allies, after Poltava met with Augustus as if nothing had happened.
Where is my sword that I gave you? As if I asked.
The Polish King.
- Oh, I forgot her when I visited in Dresden, - without blinking the eye, replied
of August.
No problem, I’ll give you a new one. And Peter presented the sleeping man.
The face of the Polish is the same sword.
Charles the Twelfth threw it on the battlefield, and the sword was picked up by the Russian grenaders.

Smart and insidious doctors ask where it hurts, and then push it there.

I clean a container with a toner.
Wife: If a black woman breaks home, let it go, probably it will be me
Man: wow, a mulat on Valentine’s Day, clevo))
Wife: Da Pepez

This day does not mean that you should love the opposite sex. You can love anything you want, like sausage.
YYY: I love the cookies. I will write Valentine.

February 14 is an unofficial, but widely celebrated in the professional world computer worker day.

Congratulations to everyone who is interested :)