bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №25713
 08.02.2010
Q: Have you voted?
NN : Oga
Q: And how did I guess?

[ + 86 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25712
 08.02.2010
My six-year-old brother pulled a girlfriend home. The girlfriend pulled a bunch of discs with cartoons, which she pulled another girlfriend. They decide to run them on Mom’s laptop.
I hear this conversation from the neighboring room:
and Fujo!! to
This is what?
and Fujo!! to
These are Japanese cartoons.
They are strange...
They are called Anime. Fuck you!! to
FUUUUUUU!!! to
Let’s go again...
Get ready to scream "Fu"
I am going to go!!!! to
Be careful, I will go.
In general, the children the selection of hentai.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №25711
 08.02.2010
XXX: I bought such wallpapers. We have beautiful walls in our bedroom :)
The main thing is that they are not yellow. I have yellow walls associated with stupidity.
I have one news and one request.
I already understood the news. Please "Don’t beat me please"

[ + 87 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25710
 08.02.2010
I never liked winter. It caused me depression. And now I’m pooher, I’m in depression all year round.

[ + 63 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25709
 08.02.2010
I go home shorter.
With milk in hand.
I am moving to my area.
Right in front of me the car brakes, from there two fucking
Ordinary one such
Second 4 teams in width, two in height
with two skulls he can't get to fuck
2 in the car.
They are drunk in shit.
I was asked where the bathroom was.
I say, I don’t know
I am told, say, that we will cut you off in the woods, in the woods, in the cinema.
I think, how do you get worse?
Well, it was all the powerful said, the second reassured him.
I found out that I really don’t know Nihua.
He sits in the car, and the fat says.
They went with us to the crazy.
I look very crazy.
A miracle of milk.
I say nothing.
He’s crazy, he’s jumping out, he’s taking my coat off.
In the car, he says, I fuck you.
If you do not go with us
He takes me behind the shelf and puts me in the car.
I think it’s all aqua.
I tell them, I would go home.
They flattered us like
I think well.
Sitting
I was transported 4 quarters, then landed.
Because my grandmother found it.
Going for milk.

[ + 73 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25708
 08.02.2010
This year Maslenica coincided with St. Valentine’s Day. Let’s burn the Valentines!! to

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25707
 08.02.2010
February 6, p. "Olympic" Depeche Mode Concert. There were some Germans in the heat. He went out to smoke during his speech. I am returning. German guys have already gone and I hear the man’s scream "You’re better than Kirkorov!! I love you!I think, haha, a fun guy. I raise my eyes – my father is out.)

[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25706
 08.02.2010
I have a girlfriend whose parents are prohibited from watching SOUTH PARK, so here she sits once, the door closed took the controller and quietly looks, here suddenly comes dad she switches the channel, and there porn... for a long time she tried to prove to him that she watched the sauna park)))))

[ + 79 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25705
 08.02.2010
February 14 – Maslenica. We command you to eat pins, burn pins and have fun. Those who celebrate other false holidays will be severely punished.
Honestly, your ancient Slavic gods.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №25704
 08.02.2010
Drugs and narcotics. The name of the doctor...
Presented, the patient was rubbed, the test was not passed)))

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25703
 08.02.2010
My sister’s husband writes:
Katya is a monster who has cut bread.

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25702
 08.02.2010
At the reception at the veterinarian a girl with chau-chau. Suitable for another:
What a dog! How much you?
– 4 years.
Have you already given birth?
No, I did not give birth.
And why?
We cannot give birth, we are a boy.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №25701
 08.02.2010
xxx: throw, I went yesterday with a group to the garage to rehearse, on the street -20, switched on the heater, heated up like, only to play gathered - knocks into the garage some storm
Sage opens, he says, we play in the neighboring garage with friends, we freeze, you have eaten all the electricity with your equipment.
What, has your tail broken?
xxxh: no, we think colleagues, they also play, well, and the heaters made it easier, they are all the electricity wasted.
xxx: freezing like hairstyles, a rare pleasure to play the electrode in the winter jacket and gloves xDD
After hours two gathered home, went to the neighbors to talk when they are here so that at the same time no more to get in.
xxxh: we go - and there is hot as in the desert, and it costs 9 pieces, and they are chasing Crysis on the net.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №25700
 08.02.2010
A friend guessed the scanword, reflecting dry: Tech-s, the Himalayan goat... I don’t know such, only Russians I know..." – and, looking at me, added:"...by names."

[ + 84 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25699
 08.02.2010
I came to the subscription department of the provider to pay for the innet. There is a girl (D).

I: I say the address
D: For what?
I: I thought about the internet.
D is the address?
I: Noah, I say the address again.
D is 690 r.
I got the check, thank you :)
D: For what?
For the Internet...
D is the address?

[ + 54 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25698
 08.02.2010
Oh, everyone here writes about the fees for Valentine’s Day... And I feel that many will not go, such as me...who doesn’t have much money, nor an athletic figure, in general, almost nothing that girls like...and I don’t depend on the internet, I know how to cook, study, work...but who needs it?! to

P.S I will see in the best trip to meet, even if I am at death.)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №25697
 08.02.2010
A wise man is a man who speaks with his own quotes.

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25696
 08.02.2010
When we had a baby, the question arose about buying a house. He has to spend the whole summer in the city. In the end, they found a good option in the village and bought it. The place is good. A forest, a river, a large area. On it, a house, a garage with a garage, a bathroom, a basement...

The problem is that we didn’t get along with our neighbors. It’s not that we’re hostile – they just ignore us and we ignore them. The foreign people. I am a sociable person and I suffer from it. When I suffer, I drink.

The burial was good. Cold and dry. We now store all the unspoiled products there. and alcoholic. I go somehow in the universe thirst already in the morning for another bottle of vodka in the basement. In the street is autumn, not that rose, not that cold. And the mist. Beautiful and thick like cream. You stretch out your hand without seeing your fingers. I took a bottle in the basement and got up around the fog. I can’t see any of it, and I got caught up here. From thirst, from loneliness, I just sleep, the hell knows what - I woke up in my whole voice in the fog, like in the cartoon of Norstein:
“Well badly!”

And I didn’t have time to enjoy the echo in absolute silence, as a distorted echo-spoken voice cried out from a distance: “Yozhiiyik!”

- Lošaaadkaaa - I wept and moved to the sound with a bottle in my hand
The Yogi! The voice is getting closer...

I walked out of the cage and went on the road. A few minutes later, the horse and I met.

I woke up in a strange house, carefully laid in bed. Early in the morning, in the village, I was bitten, fed and taken home.
They apologized for me to my wife, who just woke up and still did not understand anything. But after a week, all the neighbors recognized us as their own. We have good people in the villages, good people. It looks crazy, but only open up, give them an impulse - and there will be no trace of the wall of misunderstanding.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №25695
 08.02.2010
A modest Jewish guy came to a sexologist and complained that he had just gotten married and had nothing to do with his young wife. The doctor asks to tell him how he is in bed. The patient says he is lying on his right side and nothing works.
The Doctor says:
You lie on your left side.
The patient:
Face to Mother?

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №25694
 08.02.2010
On the weekend showed on TV a film about Ilya Muromza:
Agree quite strangely now sounds the answer of Ilushia to his wife's question where he was all night:
"And I’ve been chasing one eye all night in the field"

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna