bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №59818
 08.02.2012
Life must be lived where it will not hurt.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №59817
 08.02.2012
Record in the school diary
It is known that becoming the world champion in chess, Mikhail Tal continued to work in one of the Riga schools... a modest teacher of literature.
At one of his lessons a funny story happened: he noticed that during a lesson on a chess board located on the window, two students slowly played a game. White had all the chances to put mat in four moves, but not only missed this chance, but also fell under a devastating attack.
Teacher Tal demanded a journal of the violator of discipline, where he made a strict inscription for information of the parents: "I did not find mat in four moves in the lesson of literature!“”

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №59816
 08.02.2012
If you write sparkles on thousands of notes, then the teacher's attempt to take the sparkles from the student is already extortion.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №59815
 08.02.2012
Sasha's dialogue on the phone, I hear clearly the current of his replicas:
No need to press.
Do not press.
No need, I said.
Take off your hands!! (to the side of the blade)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №59814
 08.02.2012
I work in a company for the sale of mining and drilling equipment. The head of fire: his phone is ringing, and the number is internally, i.e. You can only call "your". He picked up the telephone and said, “The Embassy of Kenya. Oh, sorry... and they put the phone on.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59813
 08.02.2012
Oh you! I remember, I remember... And why nobody remembers the series "Bugs" or how it was translated "Electronic Bubbles" – it was a hit of our childhood!

[ + 41 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59812
 08.02.2012
The Formspring:
Three things that every woman should know.

1 - Be able to pretend that a man is the principal
2 - to be able to show a man who is really the main
3 – Bordeaux

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №59811
 08.02.2012
I live in a deaf village.
On TV for a month revolve about Nibiru the end of the world and aliens ships.

Smoking with local people.

I ask him:

Diman, here are aliens flying to us.
If they offer you to fly to another galaxy, will you fly with them?? to
Answer without thought:
YYY : Finally! I have never been anywhere beyond the Altai region.

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59810
 08.02.2012
I know who Alexander Nevsky is. The bodybuilder. He has given himself the title of Miss Universe.
ZZZ: Maybe Mr. Universe?
AAA: What is the difference?? to
AAA: By the way, yesterday we watched Przevalsky against Napoleon. Such a hat.
ZZZ: Maybe Rzhevsky?? to
AAA: Listen, you’re already busy, smart man.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №59809
 08.02.2012
On the phone, the man calls his own: - We're going to break up! I’m scared, I can’t wait. What does it mean to be really scary now?

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №59808
 08.02.2012
What Chelyabinsk? of Irkutsk!

For the drift-show of two tractors and a self-driving machine in the center of the city, the head of "Autodore" was fired.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №59807
 08.02.2012
We talk to a girl, watch a cartoon together, Fish Ponyo on the cliff of Miyazaki. The fish is taken in a cage to the kindergarten and served with food) and the fish so sweetly wrapped her head, refusing bread, that I wanted to tell my friend that this fish is cute, almost like her. And suddenly the fish catches a branch and begins to EAT it, well, I think I didn't say))))

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59806
 08.02.2012
Seven days of birth in five days can easily end in my funeral.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №59805
 08.02.2012
xxxh: when we arrived in Tajikistan I saw a man who wrote once a week in an immigration questionnaire in the sex field =)
I can write with my netbook only.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №59804
 08.02.2012
I’m a man and I’m fucking fucking in the ass. collapse from there. It is somehow pederasty.
I don't understand those men who fuck in the ass and I don't understand the babies who give (except for the prostitute)

Pound_izyma: are you not bothered by menstruation? They usually come from the place where, I understand, you fucking fuck.

Alexandra: They are embarrassed. I leave the girl in peace for these days. Let the natural process go peacefully.

Q. Do not fuck her when she meets her.

4itatel_lj: They are the ones)))))

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59803
 08.02.2012
Ahahhahah brought a notepad poured with water. it was cleaned, turned on, the aska started, and there was the last phrase: aaaaah I poured water on the notebook!!!!!!!!!! Damn this shit in the service now (((

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №59802
 08.02.2012
I cleaned my ears.
How loud is the mouse.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №59801
 08.02.2012
MrD: I have a local employee working here.
MrD: A jacket from a jacket! Ahahahahah

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №59800
 08.02.2012
On the demotivators, a picture with the girls from magazines glued to the wall, a signature of the type "you can only glue the body so". I am sorry "I can’t do it any more". A year as married.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59799
 08.02.2012
I used to think I was a crapper. but no, I have "curls so cute, straight like Sherlock"

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