bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44255
 09.03.2011
xxx please help me! I can’t sleep for the second week! Tell me, why do some people still find it funny to accidentally skip the letter "t" in the word "you" and the result in any desired phrase?

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №44254
 09.03.2011
My mom is cooking soap...I’t be surprised if in a couple of weeks she’d come home in blue-colored clothes and burst on her canvas: “The club’s first rule is never telling anyone about the club!”

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №44253
 09.03.2011
Cut all the ingredients into cubes (except for the strawberry).

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №44252
 09.03.2011
I am lazy =(
You don’t know what leniency is. A comrade came to me, a very lazy man. He lay on the couch and did nothing. He said I have a very strong aura.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №44251
 09.03.2011
I sit and cry.)
Letter from the supplier (solid Peter’s office), subject of the letter (citing):
"The promoter says it has three holes and lacks the hose"

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №44250
 09.03.2011
I go for a couple. Call of a friend:
You can’t go in a couple. A bomb in the universe. See, I did not smoke.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №44249
 09.03.2011
"In the ranks of the Ministry of Internal Affairs a temporary taboo on receiving bribery, for the period of certification of admission to the police" - shit, comrades :)

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №44248
 09.03.2011
From the Border Forum, on the topic of the joint transfer:

XXX is Hi!
I am a factory, company girl with a board (possibly with a girlfriend)

Yyy: What about a friend... not all God gave a third dimension.)

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №44247
 09.03.2011
NeBo: And my young man gave me on March 8 a pyjama... a male, two sizes larger, with a spiderman.

Is this revenge for the underwear on the 23rd?

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №44246
 09.03.2011
Friend: Fuck, how unbearable, unbearable you want grandmother!
I: Well, if it’s just like that, go to the public house.
No, I want to meet!
I: And you go to the public house more often - you will have acquaintances there :D

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №44245
 09.03.2011
xxx: I remember years ago, when I spent the whole summer in Elce, there was such a wonderful event.
Summer, night, somewhere around three o’clock. I am going to sleep. There are drunk screams from the window. I rise to see.
The young proletarian, drunk in the drabadan, goes on the road. The amplitude of its oscillations is a meter four, no less. Embrace each column.
XXX: And then this miracle begins trying to sing.
XXX: And it does not sing anything, but "The Heart of Beauties"! Knowledge of text and melody.
Here is she, the great power of art.

[ + 49 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44244
 09.03.2011
Imho, a lot of money will get the one who creates a device that clamps the toilet lid on the command "Blu!" before flying there mobile phone =(

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №44243
 09.03.2011
Proposal for sale of motorcycle:

Hi my buyer. I'm going to give you the Honda DIO 35 ZET X! I don’t remember the year of release, let it be 2003 (everything better than 97). In Russia there was one host and in Japan there were twenty. The run was twisted seven times until the speedometer was broken. I now measure the speed by tears from my eyes. I wanted to tuning, but decided not to spend money on NEO. I really bought the Polini variator belt! Italian, immediately became a sport at 15% Truth faster he did not go. On the headset, a metal plug +7 to the appearance. Eat not fast, but eat the same, so norm where you rush to enjoy life! As soon as I changed the oil with the boys in the fork, they barely collected back as it was, there is no more use. Pumped the hydraulic front brake and cleaned the carburetor, +10 for pre-sales preparation. All the work was carried out in a specialized service, in the underground crossing through the road, there is dry and light all year round. Recently I was riding all over the courtyard with the boys... I thought it would not stand!!! I didn’t get the back tile, I had to buy a new one. But I'm not upset, I'll still get out of the sale. Stickers glued the scales in plastic, now beautiful, and the main thing is not noticeable! No investment is required and I went. If it starts. I will allow myself to ride on the UPAL-KUPIL rule, I will not specifically encounter. No guarantee - I sell a cat in a bag. I will exchange for Subaru. Katie is fucking.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №44242
 09.03.2011
Everybody wants something from me.
The head of the operating room came and asked her to record music for her daughter. Dance "Out of the Amazon".
The Imperial March from Star Wars.
A credit economist came. Asked for the child to describe what kind of plant with pictures.
I wrote everything about cannabis.
The security guard arrived. He said he bought a computer. I asked to record something.
It is distributed by Delphi. What is anything?
She changed her mind to ask for something...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №44241
 09.03.2011
I’m on a trolleybus today. At one of the stops, the trolleybus stood longer than usual, with the doors open. We stand waiting. Here, a drunk man falls into the trolleybus and says, looking at the conductor: "Conductor! I won’t go with you today!" And falling out of the trolleybus :)

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №44240
 09.03.2011
Would Uncle Sigmund Freud know that he is attributed to the scourge, it would be possible to connect a generator to his grave.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №44239
 09.03.2011
D is a girl, P is a boy.
D: Go to your counselor, there the cakes were taken away.
Q with meat?
Meat of young virgins.
Q: With your meat?
D: This is a modest question.
Q: This is an unfair answer.

[ + 53 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44238
 09.03.2011
[23:30:39] (Slavutich) Petrov Sanya: fuck you have to do such a thing that during the interaction with methane, it produced some interesting smell, let's say strawberries
[23:30:59] Jaroslav: o-o
[23:31:33] (Slavutich) Petrov Sanya: and you sit like this in the bus and here suddenly from wherever you take, it smells like strawberries or needle woods, or hard coconut, or juicy mango.
[23:32:24] Jaroslav: And I did not understand anyway
[23:32:33] Jaroslav: Nafiga is in the bus?* is
[23:32:54] (Slavutich) Petrov Sanya: well in line for bread, or in the subway, or at home
[23:33:02] Jaroslav: Thou
[23:33:27] (Slavutich) Petrov Sanya: you are sitting with your brother in the room and everything is fine, and you do nothing, and here the hook smells like a nuts)
[23:33:38] Jaroslav: :D
[23:33:42] Jaroslav: The Killer
[23:34:38] (Slavutich) Petrov Sanya: and you understand that you have done nothing and this is a brother, and instead of shouting:" YOU SOUCA SERUN JOBBY Gather your stuff and get off our house because we are breathing!!!!" you whisper about yourself quietly:" Mmm... wood nuts..."

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №44237
 09.03.2011
My friend talks in a dream. Moreover, he chases the blunder of the type of aliens, unconnected words, and so on.
I sleep yesterday, I wake up, I wave, I hear nearby: "Facebook."
Smoke, what are you talking about?
It is meaningless.
Who is?
and idiotism. and stupid.
Am I stupid? An idiot what?
He is so gentle:
"Not that you are. You are a small inadequate".
He really slept XD

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №44236
 09.03.2011
As a friend said:
I’ve never seen so many men in one day with flowers and empty sad faces.

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