bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125151
 06.03.2016
This morning. The wet snow clothes the face, the weather is shit. I crossed the road on the green pedestrian crossing. There are few cars, a day off, but I still look around. And as it turned out, not in vain. Suddenly, right in front of me, spraying dirt in all directions, a white minibus passes with a sign "Ritual" on the forehead.
And I thought, maybe they are looking for new customers?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125150
 06.03.2016
If you add valerian to coffee (and do this regularly so that the latter has time to accumulate in the body), what effect will it have on the nervous system? Coffee is exciting, and valerian is soothing. Does it work like coffee without caffeine?

You will not sleep all night.)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125149
 06.03.2016
111: How normal he is to whore!!! He sent him to write a model from the dead block. Then half a day searched for the MPK-22 block, there is no such thing. I say, take it, bring it here, we will repair it. It is shit. HSK-44 he fucking called, big letters on the front panel!!! I ask, how did you get to read it? could not explain.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125148
 06.03.2016
If you read your code two years ago, you’re evolving.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125147
 06.03.2016
News: "Apple hired the former Pepsi factory to work on its own car"

One of the comments: "Sorry, but the appearance and concept of the car as a metal (or any other material) body (in bodies such as sedan, hatchback, SUV, coupe, universe, minivan, cabriolet, pickup, as well as any of their variations), located on a chassis with any flat or flat number of wheels (1) and driven by a engine of any type (including internal combustion, gas, electric, nuclear, using the conversion of solar energy, wind, gravitational force, but not limited to them) are patented and are objects of protected intellectual property, any use or copying of which without the consent of the copyright holder will be prosecuted by law.

(1) - The appearance and concept of the wheel is the subject of a separate patent.

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №125146
 06.03.2016
Now I wondered why really fat aunts (not even ladies, and especially aunts)
Wear loins, leggings and do not cover your ass?
Do you believe my aunt? It’s very ugly and unesthetic, and whoever says you’re going is lying.
Each of your frogs looks like a thick worm in a scapegoat.

I dress as I feel comfortable and beautiful. Again to me.
Are you used to all around your ass to satisfy you aesthetically? Take it off, ch. Life is pain.
As long as my clothes are not torn, not dirty, and not smelling, I am fucking sorry that your subtle sense of beauty has been squeezed. I am sick of fetophobes, what to do now.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125145
 06.03.2016
She worked at home. I went to the kitchen. At that time, my mother wiped the dust in my room. I am coming – I am welcomed by Ubuntu, Blade! I overload, choose a screw in the grabe - I am welcomed by the screw that I had a year (!) and back. Going into the bios, chose the first device to download the desired winchester - everything returned as it should. QUESTION: How can you easily restart the computer, go to the bios, change the priority of the devices for the start of the system, get out of it with saving? No one, fox, cat can ever do that... It was scary, honestly. ))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125144
 06.03.2016
Chinese taxi drivers can ride around the clock, one partner rides, the other sleeps in the trunk. Then they change.
...
by Dada! They are entitled to two. We also watched the movie "Taxi"!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125143
 05.03.2016
The time traveler burned up. The man asked where the street of digital, and such apparently in the city apparently not yet. Probably not in the downtown.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125142
 05.03.2016
Changing the world is simple. It is enough to choose an object and perform a number of easy operations on it. When an object (which is part of the world) changes in accordance with our wishes, a dispersing wave of distortions arises around it, and the world adapts to the new conditions under which the object can exist.
The easiest way is to operate yourself. To influence others or the environment in such a way as to the desired result, and not just to forge a sludge, can only true masters. Only an idiot can change himself.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125141
 05.03.2016
... - before commenting on someone else's comment, read not only the comment you comment on, but also the comment by which the commented comment is caused, and at the same time check for comments of the commented author after the commented comment.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125140
 05.03.2016
And you can continue the poem about hopeless carrots, please!! to

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125139
 05.03.2016
Fuck the scheme: when the economy is fine, people have money, prices rise. When the economy is in the ass, the population is rapidly poorer, demand is falling to compensate for the losses of bargains - prices are again, blatantly, rising. I see something wrong here!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125138
 05.03.2016
Wendy is muting! Updates are over again!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125137
 05.03.2016
I watched from the balcony the painting "Two Solitudes Meet". A man, whose car at night announces the whole courtyard with screams for two hours (seemingly, he does not know how to distinguish a homeless cat from the hijacker), and a grandmother with a little dog, who at every walk abhorrently whispers, so that the glasses cling to each other in the spirit of "Yes, you have at all, observe the silence, your mother!"

I caught myself in the thought that whoever of them molested, I personally in any way in the plus.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125136
 05.03.2016
Ivan Tsarevich walked through the forest, suddenly looking at the rabbit under the bush. He grabbed the arrow, targeted the rabbit... And the rabbit only looks at him sadly, and does not say a word.
Why are you silent, Rabbit? Why don’t you ask me to have pity, to let go home, to the little children? Will you ever be useful to me again?
- You laugh? replied the rabbit sadly. - Well what is the use of me, the dishes myself? Only valuable fur gives two or three kilograms of meat. I have nothing to buy from you. I do not have small children.
He breathed and added with hope:
If you can, don’t kill me, right? Please please.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125135
 05.03.2016
Rice cannot kill three adult men.
Well, it depends on how much explosives are attached to it.
ZZZ: Are you going to go? The Ricehead? The terror?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125134
 05.03.2016
How is it.

This insult can only be washed with blood.
and may. Will you wash the blood afterwards?

“Pinkerton’s Spirit,” Canterville’s Ghost won’t lie.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125133
 05.03.2016
Action and Resistance
“Mazuka, explain to me. Why the end of the world, I can understand. Why did you need a flood?
to me? Why did you think it was my idea?
And whose one?
Well, I just answered the prayer of a man dying in the desert. With the same strength with which he prayed.

[ + 12 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125132
 05.03.2016
XXX: Recommend the movies. Fantasy / Fantasy
YYY: USD by 30 rubles
XXX is AHA. Honest Members
zzz: and the absence of corruption, ah

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna