I long broke my head over the question:"Who is my neighbor?". Because when he goes up the staircase to smoke, he always locks the apartment on the key. I had options like a drug dealer, an underground millionaire, a paranoid, etc. It turned out easier. Once he went out drunk to smoke and fell asleep on the stairs. He woke up and his house was robbed.

My younger brother eats all the shit. My mom got tired:
Drink three glasses of milk and get your chips.
small in panic, natural, milk for him sho cyanide potassium
But he drank his heart, received his “reward” and went to his room.
I walk past his room and hear:
(Lovefully addressing the chipsets laid down on the table) my sweet, family, good... how I suffered for you...

One day my friend had a birthday. My young man and I decided, as he is an original guy, to give him a hand-painted flower pot. We successfully and creatively painted the pot and, so that it does not empty, planted a tree in it. The tree was named short and tangible - Philae. So, day X came and we gathered for our birthday. The pot with Phileas was packed in a wallet, filling it with a newspaper. I’m in the elevator with my wallet behind my shoulder. The elevator stops and people come in. Because the cabin is small, there is very little space.
The following dialogue follows:
(I): Misha, be careful not to strangle Phil!
(The people who entered, restlessly staring under their feet waiting to see the dog): Hey, do you have someone here? Does he bite?
No, Phil does not bite. He is in Gorka!
I will never forget the faces of the people who travelled with us.

All men from February 23 in the old style.

How many degrees are there in Israel?
Don’t ask me about the weather. I answer my friends from Voronezh and Rostov, how many degrees we have, and they then call.

XXX: At the music competition "Eurovision-2012" Russia will be represented by the udmurt band "Buranov grandmothers".
YYY: It is right! In such competitions, the grandmothers always win.

I am surprised by the misery of the opposition.
They would have read Lenin.
The same wrote, first of all, to seize railway stations, banks, telegraphs.
Stupid pindos and then Walt Street captured.
Those fools took the fountain.

<xxx> I’ve got all the assholes in my family((
<yyy> You’re going to remember all your life how they forgot about your doctor. 8 years ago?
<xxx> and it's also, but I'm crazy about another, I bought 2 rolls of toilet paper yesterday - today is no longer there!

8 March. My husband walked out of the house, thinking of the flowers. I returned happy after half an hour with a new shower tube!!! to

A friend accidentally threw 5000p into the urn and began to look for her. Go mom and son 6 years "This is what happens if you don’t listen". A friend took 5000 rubles from the urn, executed it and said, "Don't believe her, boy, a couple of months on urns and on a BMW you will accumulate. I went to BMW and left.

8 March in the morning. Wife: As if to make fun of you, I’ve already tried everything.

Sex at 6 a.m. on March 8 is a male morning or a female holiday?! to

Measure once, cut seven times and give the cat.

Coming from corporation:

With a celebration!) Know that you are the smartest, beautiful and unique!

• Attention! The message was sent from a mass mail!

The apartment is being renovated on the 12th floor. The master puts the parquet in a room that is not related to the bathroom. Here in the apartment crazy knocks neighbors (C) old years.

C: You are flooding us!
I: We have no leaks.
C: But you have a repair! (A serious argument, fuck the fuck)
At least four apartments are being repaired.
C: Yes, we had full drivers there, I even thought it was raining! 12 in the streets, the rain.
Q: What floor are you from?
A: From the first time! and fatality!!

After a bit of discussion, I decided to go to the second floor.

Is it hard for everyone to write different text messages?

xxx: Can his phrase "Our xbox" be interpreted as a proposal to consolidate our relationship officially?

Once in the institute attached to the fabric stands posters with the help of small needles.
In the absence of a third hand, I press a few needles with my lips while attaching one.
Three teachers walked around, they approached me and a dialogue began:

The first (to me): Why do you take it in your mouth? Every man knows that he can’t get into his mouth.
Second: Oh, and I take it in my mouth...and why not?
First, it can be swallowed.
Second: Do you take it yourself?
The first: No, I do not take it!
Third: Take it all in your mouth, so it’s more convenient!

There’s not much to say about March 8th, is it so boring? I have a husband, for example, in the night from 7 to 8 arranged for me a romantic walk in my favorite places, we rolled in the snow (and we in Khabarovsk it has been raining for 2 days), made angelochkov with my hands, and then I decided to jump in the sougrob, and he turned out to be small and I broke my leg (thank you, dear!!!! A great gift!)
and Dad put the gift to Mom under the pillow, it was a set in a large box (plank and dryer), Mom suddenly put her head on the pillow and now on the back of the neck a knot...
This is such a fun family.)

Rambler news just pleased: "On Women's Day Tymoshenko will issue an additional compot"