bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94943
 07.03.2014
Comment on the news that in Belarus at the college teaching found a space:
Ha, I’ve seen the torch of mint, I’ve seen the prosecutor in porn and I know a guy who’s hanging a term for a seal.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94942
 07.03.2014
XHH: And the robot vacuum cleaners are greatly determined by the soil. My wife is obviously a female. I am hysterical)
Do you want to clean anything, but you want to put on a pen and dress?
Driving is hard
xxx: often floats into a hard-to-reach place and then cries "help"
XHH: Although by the idea, she has an infrared sensor and a buffer...
WOW: You know some have four windows and mirrors, but they don’t help either.
DAK is the same. Some have a parking lot!!! to
Q&A: What does she eat?
Oh, what is she breaking?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №94941
 07.03.2014
We are in a half empty bus 139, dark outside the window.
Dinka: Where are we?
Falco: I do not know.
D: I generally have the feeling that we are already being taken to some desert for recycling.

And then there is a deadly announcement: "the next stop is a meat processing machine"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №94940
 07.03.2014
Reading about Serdyukov’s amnesty, you realize how good it is in Russia to be a criminal, not a policeman.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №94939
 07.03.2014
News: "Migration Service caught 74 Usbeks at a brick factory near Novosibirsk"
Comment: "... and the Uzbeks immediately over-performed the monthly plan on production of their products"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №94938
 07.03.2014
From the correspondence:
Scuc... where bablo to take nach, raised all in the spring bleat))
Are you not an Aries?
I am a fish.
The Cold Blood)
by :o
I am, in general, a mythical dude with an onion and a horse’s ass. So you are lucky :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №94937
 07.03.2014
I was fired from the cafe today. Because electricists called us on the 3rd and warned us that on March 7th from 9:30 to 10:30 they will turn off electricity. I turned off today at 12:40. I did not warn...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №94936
 07.03.2014
Do you know what Ivan called the company?
XXX: Thunderbolt
XXX: and it would be no more, yes, just the original
XXX: but he also depicted an elephant on the logo
xxx: - who are you and what device is this hastily twisted software blinded?
Yes, these are... like their... elephants!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94935
 07.03.2014
Collega: Oh, only librarians do not have to open books to readers on the desired page, constantly repair books, sticking the same page in place, do not have to explain in what language the book is written and most importantly - librarians never... never have to read a book instead of the reader, to then recount it.
= = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
How you missed the box.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94934
 07.03.2014
Have you heard that the same people were shooting at the Berkutans and the Maidanans? The Russian sniper is to blame.
Did you know that Tymoshenko is pregnant? The Russian sniper is to blame.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №94933
 07.03.2014
XX: I am returning from the shop, and they have a metal detector frame at the exit at the CPC in general. I had to put it all up to the end of the day. ?

YYY: And we stood at the factory, the electricity did not work)))They thought about putting frames in rooms that are decorated with a metal profile)))

You are ? ? ? ?
and AAAA!! I am crying ?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №94932
 07.03.2014
Husband and wife sit at the compass at night.
I wonder if I want chips or not.
Wife you want! You still want beer.
Do I want filtered or unfiltered?
The Unfiltered!

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №94931
 06.03.2014
to this:

by Prikol. Sushi at the cafe. I send a card and enter a pin. On the screen: "the PIN code is entered incorrectly" the check comes out, I have it, it has the inscription: "the operation has not been performed", they give, put a pen and drive behind the door :)

Young man, I congratulate you. Now the cost of your order will be deducted from the already not very high salary of the waitress. You can be proud of stealing a student.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №94930
 06.03.2014
Interesting anatomy of network equipment: The green D-link has no ears, but there are two holes in the ass.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №94929
 06.03.2014
Richard had a conversation with one man.
Richter: This is shit.
Richter says I want advertising, I’ll launch 5D attractions
Richter: Well, I’m always very upset about that, I say a hole 5D? What is it? Explain from a physical point of view
He looked at me like a fat man.
Richter: Well grit 4D is the smell, 5D is the shake of everything.
Richter: And I’m already holding my face “and the rest of the 3D then what?”
Elvis: And He Grits 3D This Is Glasses
Richter: he looked at me as an idiot already "1D picture, 2D sound"
Tagged: grandmother

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №94928
 06.03.2014
xxx: I set myself a goal: to obtain a diploma of higher education at a French university without even knowing the basics of the French language.
XXX: As you can see, I’m doing well.
You can call this the terrorism of the modern education system.
xxx: And I use six verbs to express everything I need.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №94927
 06.03.2014
The title of the news, Miley.
The Chelyabinsk Theatre gave DiCaprio the iron "Oscar"

Chelyabinsk holds the mark.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №94926
 06.03.2014
In the spring, it’s hard to focus on one thing.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №94925
 06.03.2014
The average salary
33 thousand in Russia. The ruble
in Lithuania - 30 thousand rubles

The unemployment rate
Russia – 5 %
Lithuania – 12%

Who is here with the naked back?
____________________-
Are you also from the InnerMadness planet?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №94924
 06.03.2014
" brought a tree 5 meters in length, see. 20 in the range."
This is not a saff, it is a bobber.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna