bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №126091
 29.03.2016
I guarantee you that in five years we will live better than in Europe.

What will happen to them?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №126090
 29.03.2016
You know, when a developer asks you what boolean is, it’s new, fresh sensations.
Yyy: "Do you know what Boolean is? Yes or No?and "

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126089
 29.03.2016
After today’s phone call:
and Ophigete! The son in the army is not taken: double compression fractures of the spine were very long ago. It would be nothing, but he has been fighting for 5 years already. Directly disappointed!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №126088
 29.03.2016
When did you make your first step towards the next billion?

He was born in the family of a hotel chain owner.

That’s it, a bit!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №126087
 29.03.2016
Tallinn, 28 March 2016
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Estonia expressed concern in connection with the beginning in September 2015 of the bombing of ISIS objects by Russian bombers.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126086
 29.03.2016
Per I could get a bucket for that. In short, he decided not to drag the fate for his hair and left them in the metro corridor, and the girl was silent on very important matters, probably.

*bleding* metro corridor

Or not: the metro corridor! Avada to KEDAVRA!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126085
 29.03.2016
If you want to ruin your relationship, complain about it.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №126084
 29.03.2016
Colonel Mironov, like most of the military, was a supplier of army quotes. It means a group of students at the military department in front of the class, waiting for the teacher to open it. One starts pushing the other. The preponderance turns:
Tolstoy, do you know where to put your hands?! to
– I tried, Comrade Colonel, they don’t get in!
He thought he had knocked down the old soldier, but Mironov also did not use a word in his pocket, yet twenty years in the army. He turned the face on which there was a smile of hyena and, looking into the eyes of the student, with an oil voice said:
It’s not a problem, we’ll develop it soon.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126083
 29.03.2016
It is hard to do business alone.
The accountant is you.
The cleaner is you.
The seller is you.
The trucker who forgot and didn't go to work, putting the whole company under control - you.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126082
 29.03.2016
And my six>
And my five copies:Here:Here:Here:Here:Here
Every time I put a pelvis on my head after I hang my washed clothes.
Katya is 26 years old.

Katy, let’s meet you, I am 30. and Sasha.

Three of them are there. Fede, 46 years old

Who do you like more, Katya or Sasha?

And suddenly that? O_O

Of course TAZ! Katyn basin is exactly what men like.
> Especially when her clothes are dry.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126081
 29.03.2016
The Foreign:
If you call the Russian police and report that the car is wrongly parked in front of your house, which has blocked your departure, then in two weeks the answer will come that the owner of the car was fined for wrong parking.
######
If it is so in your country. And here... In two weeks, the answer will come that the indicated place of violation was not detected, and the date - 13 days after your appeal.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126080
 29.03.2016
and ah! apparently, the cable section has decreased and the bytes are stuck in steel

Actually yes. The intersection decreased/broken (contact is, but it is “dredgling”), as a result - more errors in the transmission of the signal, more attempts to transmit the same package, as a result - a drop in useful speed. And for you: the bytes have become "trapped". I went right anyway.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126079
 29.03.2016
A magnetophone sticker with the inscription "Clean Sound. POWERY BASES." looks luxurious on the Chinese washing machine.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126078
 29.03.2016
by stannum99:
Sometimes I go out with students. Today at the reception, the lady with a shock, broken nose and a bleach on the cheek. They walked on the staircase in communal...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №126077
 29.03.2016
xxx: Yesterday I called a rejected person who made 28 errors on 3 pages in a test task. He said he was ready to challenge the result and rewrite if necessary.
XXX: We are not ready. In the middle of the day, these three leaflets went through all departments. Someone spit coffee in them, photocopies were taken from them, after lunch I personally saw how neighboring trucks roasted over them.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126076
 29.03.2016
And my five copies:Here:Here:Here:Here:Here
Every time I put a pelvis on my head after I hang my washed clothes.
Katya is 26 years old.

Katy, let’s meet you, I am 30. and Sasha.

Three of them are there. Fede, 46 years old

Who do you like more, Katya or Sasha?

And suddenly that? O_O

Of course TAZ! Katyn basin is exactly what men like.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126075
 29.03.2016
The cat agrees with the Ecclesiastes. The only reason for any event is time. And if a towel falls from the sky, then it is time for a towel. When that happens, it can be shaken again.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126074
 29.03.2016
NATO: Use U2 to monitor Russia!

Bono: What else! We have nothing more to do!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126073
 29.03.2016
We don’t have the sea, and when I got the word “dry cargo” somewhere, it always seemed like it was ships carrying dried fruit.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №126072
 29.03.2016
Just for me, Ohrid and Umbra are fundamentally different things, like sausage and cream, and for them - "brown".

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna