bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149940
 23.03.2018
I have a transitional age.

Your transitional age has long since ended.

Do you mean I’m just so stupid?? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149939
 23.03.2018
phenomenon of eggs

Recently there have been a huge number of people (both men and women) who have not had to take responsibility for their lives and make serious decisions. The maximum level of decision-making is the name of the cocktail in the nightclub. They do not have to choose the university, arrange for work, etc. and etc.
And imagine that such a person (woman) has someone for whom she bears full responsibility. By realizing this, the roof goes down. There is a feeling that there is finally something serious, the main thing in life, and, naturally, from her point of view, it should be the main thing not only for her, but for everyone.
Per not a very successful analogy, but nurses remind me of muddy bosses who received their position unmeritedly. They also think that they are now the most important people in the world, know everything and know everything, and everyone else owes them.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149938
 23.03.2018
>>What does the word "client" do not suit?

We were fined for the word "client". Customers are in the bordels, but we only have guests.

A former strip bar dancer.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149937
 23.03.2018
and Taxi. I take order. I come to the point. The courtyard is illuminated by a single lamp. I see two figures coming out of the entrance, one judging by the height of the child. Sit on the back seat.

and good night. Going like that?

Welcome to. and ah. They went.

Please bring the child in the belt.

There is an unhappy cry from behind:

“Tambovsky wolf you child, fool!”

Unfortunate and incomprehensible. I turn and crawl. There is a real dwarf there.

The child arrives... taxi, passengers, an uncomfortable moment

Until then, I only saw dwarfs in movies and circuses. Well, OK, I think that being flattered in the style of "I thought you're a child so like" will only aggravate the unpleasant situation, and in general I'm above such a fuck just apologizing for starting the move. We go. In the back of my head I literally feel the unhappy eyes of a dwarf. In front of the DPS. I shrugged a hairy ribbon. I stopped.

- Captain such-som Regional GIBDD documents insurance bla bla bla...

and good night. Please please.

Do you take a taxi? Children are lucky?

He looks into the salon. through an open window.

OP is breaking. Why does the child not sit?

Then Tirion took it. The phrase "You creatures bustled, what I busted you child!" He was the most famous in his monologue. Oral for a long time. The captain squeezed that now the best option is this retreat gives me the docks, and immediately gives on the taps in the direction of the post.

The rest of the road of Karapuz was still a long time. Already arriving at the destination he apparently spoke at last calmly asked me why he was all fucking. He replied that someone wanted to fuck him on the street was dark, so it seemed to me that a man of small height was a child, and in the car it was dark, so Gaiishnik also thought that he was a child. The man even apologized a little silently. Apparently a serious complex has developed because of its deviation.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149936
 23.03.2018
The Fourth

There is such a cute bird, it's called the "butt", and it shakes just that. So I suggest changing the name of the band to the folk dance "Trysopuska", and everyone will be pleased.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №149935
 23.03.2018
I am a supporter of cremation and that ashes be scattered over the lake. This is the dream of death. And my husband just wants to go to the grave, he said that if I die first, he will ruin me anyway. Then I decided that if he was the first to accumulate, he would fly over the lake like a sweet one.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149934
 23.03.2018
-> Swimming fucking, and sailors walk!

This usually applies to ships. But here the ship has crashed (for example), the sailor is on board - and Opa! A magical transformation.
Interesting, and swimmers athletes on sailors are not offended?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149933
 23.03.2018
To quote Caroline, it is:

Religion has really convinced people that there is an invisible man in heaven who monitors everything you do, every day and every minute. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has prepared a special place, full of fire and smoke and flame and torture and suffering, where he will send you to live and to suffer and to burn and to suffocate and to weep until the end of the ages!
But he loves you!
He loves you and he needs money. He always needs money! He is all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing and the wisest, but that’s what money didn’t do!
Religion gets billions of dollars, they don’t pay taxes, and they always need a little more.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149932
 23.03.2018
Is it true that when cooking the real salad "Caesar" it is necessary to use 23 knives?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149931
 23.03.2018
We hit the cowboy

> The Roman Patricians?

Petka reads a history textbook: "Patricians surrendered to orgies in thermas with heteros".
Vasily Ivanovich is! Nietzsche is not understood.
It is easy, Petya. Terms are baths, heters are pale, orgies are group-shaped.
And the Patriots?
- And this, Petka, the mistake has stolen - you need to read "Party".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149930
 23.03.2018
What if the Motherland says "need"?
The concept of "Fatherland" is a difficult question.
If the state, then the money ahead. If my country is where I am going.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149929
 23.03.2018
GT: "Telegram filed a complaint against Russia to the European Court of Human Rights"

The commentary:
Referring to the Constitution of Russia in court is like referring to Tolkien’s Silmarillion in a dispute with a physicist about the origin of everything.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149928
 23.03.2018
The boys around the tsar live in some strange reality: taxes from the poor, labor - punishment, children - to the enemies, the wealth of the power - to the shit, themselves steal - others sit.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №149927
 23.03.2018
There was a case with my acquaintance.
She went to work in a store as a cashier on a work permit. After working there for a month and a half, she fell ill and went to the hospital. Nothing predicted trouble... The official hospital ended, she recovered and returned. But it was not there. As soon as she left, the managing manager said to her, "You have taken another employee (the employer's acquaintance) in your place and you are no longer working here. You won’t get the health care and the hospital, and your work is lost. Go on all four sides!”
By the way, her ZP and hospital would cost the employer 15 thousand. The rub.
The cold shower of my friend didn’t like it. Since she had no money, she went to free lawyers. The lawyers were just young. Work loaded they were not and decided to collectively help my friend to make a complaint and lawsuit to the court, and in addition a detailed scheme of what and how to say to the employer to try to solve the case on the world and get the TC and money, and in the conversation she was recommended to record everything on the dictionary.
The employer refused and did not even meet her. She had to communicate with the same manager. The employer had to come to court, and there he was surprised that the girl brought two well-trained lawyers to court.
The result:
It was proven that she worked in the store, thanks to the recording of the conversation and the fact that the employer suddenly for some reason did not find records from surveillance cameras for 2 months, although they work.
Thanks to this - the girl received her legal money and further compensation of 65 thousand. The rub. for the fact that her TC was lost and for the time spent on the trial, which could have been spent on a new job.
And also on the employer was imposed several fines (in total about 150 thousand. The rub.As part of the staff was not arranged according to the TC, the store did not comply with the norms of fire safety and sanitary norms.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149926
 23.03.2018
Just don’t teach physics in school, and your whole life will be filled with miracles and magic.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149925
 23.03.2018
Three new stations have opened on the salad branch of the Moscow metro.

Stations "Olivier", "Vinegreet", "Caesar".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149924
 23.03.2018
Dialogue between two engineers and a girl internship:
Her hands are out of her ass!
What shoulders, what shoulders.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149923
 23.03.2018
#Shopping

Since the prices have risen, and the salary is not, instead of shopping, I have a steady yarring.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149922
 23.03.2018
In Russian, shopping is, as a rule, some kind of activity, when a certain expensive and beautiful product is selected, several stores are spent, everything is compared, compared, selected and picked up. For some people, it is a ritual, a therapy.

In Russian, in particular, my sister and I, this is called "go shopping". Everything sounds better than looking "go shopping".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149921
 23.03.2018
Development is when you create models of the ass and the member purely for the sake of the trick, and you want them to just be combined forever. But immediately it turns out that for this they need support and propulsion devices, and thus, in turn, a source of energy and fuel. And even later it turns out that periodic repair is needed, because wear, ageing and all that, and you start to come up with how to make regeneration so that it is itself. By the way, you also turn the automatic search for fuel and refuelling. And you also have to take care that the fuel is also regenerative, otherwise it will not be enough for eternity. You have to create a almost eternal source of light, and self-replicating converters of light energy, which can be used as fuel, because the ass with the member initially did not intend to recharge with light, but to rework them already lazy. Then you face some in principle unresolved problem - the same aging, and you start to invent a bike, with the reproduction of the ass and penis, you have to wrap in the ass another hole, because the first is not suitable for this. In short, the result is a whole world in which members and asses hardly meet.
And it is always so, you think one thing, and something completely different comes out.

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