bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №43915
 03.03.2011
Are you an oceanologist? Are you studying fish?
Of course the fish! Oceanologists study fish, meteorologists birds, and soil scientists earthworms.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №43914
 03.03.2011
How to bring a guy to hysteria?
- Write to him:"what about sex without obligations" and then add"oh, out, not to you";;

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №43913
 03.03.2011
I go to the subway, the peak hour, the car is full under the curtain, pressure. The train stops between the stations in the tunnel and stops for a while. Ten minutes pass, the car becomes very numb and passengers start a slight panic. The mechanic makes an announcement, where keep calm passengers, 'the train is now departing'
cry out of the crowd - 'To that light!!and'

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №43912
 03.03.2011
On March 1, from a forest near the town of N, a rough man appears, banded with machine guns, and says to the old lady passing by:
Show me, grandmother, who is here a policeman!

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №43911
 03.03.2011
People who are late to the movie. They ruin all the screens with their heads! and (

[ + 213 - ] Comment quote №43910
 03.03.2011
On March 1, the militia was finally renamed to police.
Ganglery: I just saw it on the street: the ugly, disgusting mint began to rage and burn fire, and then his skin began to crack, and out of it, like a butterfly from a cocoon, came a tall sports policeman in dark glasses. Immediately in front of my eyes caught a drug dealer, gave up two bribery and saved a cat from under the wheels of the bus.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №43909
 03.03.2011
The best guide to action is my guide, who got puzzles for my puzzles from his leadership.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №43908
 02.03.2011
From Habr:
Any joke about Schrödinger's cat can be funny and ridiculous at the same time!

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №43907
 02.03.2011
Fuck people help my friend iPhone 3G cat from the table dropped now the screen white! What to do?? to
Please in the face!! to

The xxx:
The cat is out 😉

[ + 53 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43906
 02.03.2011
< SASA > jbln
< SASA > do you know how to play a counter strike?
< djbln > I’m a dude!
< SASA > about how

[ + 81 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43905
 02.03.2011
A: I have a strong suspicion that the talismans for the Olympics were drawn by the same person who is drawing gifts for VKontakte.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №43904
 02.03.2011
cleaning the room very well helps the lost piece of hashish

[ + 138 - ] Comment quote №43903
 02.03.2011
Amateur fishing in Russia will be paid
They wasted at all!! Fools are fucking! Like cheese in oil, they ride in their heads, and from a simple man on the rust and the rope attached to it, for whom this last joy remained this fishing, because the other joys because of these mountaineers in power are unavailable to him - from him they pull money to the palaces.

Sorry to hurt.

[ + 109 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43902
 02.03.2011
My wife just cooked a huge pot of borst. I put it on the balcony and cooled it. We have a bear here. And the cover on the pot is not native, from any other pot is smaller. It clamps there on the edges of little and little and, scuco, screams on the wind, irritates... And I watch hockey.
I went, took the jacket (the one that the shoe glued). I’ll press the cover. And she, scuco, turned, the edge failed...and the hammer in the borst broke.
There is a boiler. I’m in panic, I’m running after the squirrels.
I tried to catch the pen of the hamsters - he also fell into the borst and the plate-gubbers.

I sit in the kitchen and watch hockey. In the struggle - the hatchback and squatters. Only I know that.

How to tell my wife? The shoe was glued to the floor, now this too, or it will suffocate in a dream, or it will poison.

[ + 111 - ] Comment quote №43901
 02.03.2011
Jumping with a parachute.

yoker: and we have one lady jumping with her dog, well, a small one, decorative.
During the free fall, there was a beautiful shelf behind them.
One thing I can’t understand is how this dog went into shit twice as much as she did herself.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №43900
 02.03.2011
Nyquist
You have a nickname on the portal.

Tarakonas
I go there on behalf of my wife. Not registered himself.

Nyquist
Literally

Nyquist
Have a wife too.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №43899
 02.03.2011
Do you remember my neighbor’s guitarist? He is very good, he is confident in his goal.
Is he playing like Kurt Cobain?
XXX: Ah... so he’s learning to play??? And I thought he had a foolish goal of me!!! to

[ + 309 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43898
 02.03.2011
Yesterday at the stop on Jubilee street was left a netbook samsung pink small in a pink blanket. It contains my master's thesis.No other copy.Return a great reward.Please click I like it suddenly helps

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №43897
 02.03.2011
Lost Shadow: 169 km per day on a bicycle - it is possible. You are cool :)
Mad_sanity: Listen to one very wise thing, my friend...
Mad_sanity: I was bored.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №43896
 02.03.2011
Fuck, I’ve turned off the water.
I will drown.
...
and fucking (

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