My mom and I have the same phones, and for the first time in 2 years we confused them. I sit at home and the phone rings. On the display is written Denis (my mom’s brother), and I think it’s my ex. And I raise the phone with the phrase: "Well that h*ylo, did you think?"

Fuck Google, ask me!
Stanislav: The words didn’t confuse, didn’t they?

A six-year-old Finnish girl, Helga Hiltonen, wrote a letter to God to give her 100 marks before Christmas. In Finland, letters with the wrong address can only be opened by the President of the Republic. Thus, the letter addressed to “the Lord God” was read by Urho Kalev Keckonen, who successfully ruled the country from 1958 to 1982. Keckonen decided to comply with the girl's request, but thought that 50 marks would be enough for such a small child. He ordered her to bring her money and a letter “from God” on his car. Soon a letter from Helga came back to the office. She wrote that the president’s car, which had stopped near her house, was covered by the whole street. The girl asked God not to give any more money through the president because he stole half of the money.

[20:55:06] <Terentius_Palych> CBuHKo: family ent kad the older sons are punished, for a broken mirror in the living room and you give chocolate only to the daughter..and going through the minute 5th to wish a peaceful night, all friendly warm: a peaceful night, dad..

Please do not confuse happiness with joy of dementia.

I go fucking to work on Friday (it was October 2007). He calls for help and asks: "Lieutenant! And you judo?"Well, I say to him: "When home one yes, say, "Shorter, it is he shouts to me, tomorrow the competition of Kamchatka judo, you need a couple of men from the crew...You lieutenant, here you will go, cheat, to defend honor and pride....Well, I came to Petropavlovsk the next day...As long as I was found a kimono, I ask, how did I get bored? I think with the scream KIA fucking foot in the fucking and this is the victory!!! Ann no, fucking skinny, judo is fucking a fight without a fight, fucking her a horse!!! I'm screaming, you're not saying, there is no one in your super lightweight weight category, you'll get a diploma and get home! Well, I was a fool and I believed... Atam with me 4 people, of which one candidate and one master of judo fucking sports!!! Fuck, I think it’s done!! I fell shorter on the KMS... Continued 30 seconds, after which the planet sharply increased the speed of rotation, the ceiling turned and I from all the way wrapped up with the shoulder on the tatami and immediately stabbed with the foot on the deck, well the shob was not killed to the end.... As a result of our weight category gave one 3 place for two and a letter where the black on the white is written that I took 3 place in the competitions in the Judo of Kamchatka region!!!!! Hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole :)

We now have pennies running on the streets.
DrDom: Who is running?? to
The Pooh: The Pooh.

Comment to the news about the accident involving the foreigner and grandmother:

I saw her news. I just mean that my grandmother was probably going at the same speed. The guy turned, and the grandmother was frightened and gained speed =)) We had a case when in the depot worked, so the grandmother on the pedestrian on the red broke. A stranger looks at her. Well she and the slug straight under the trolleybus x)))) The trolleybus driver was scared, on the brakes. has gone out. The baby comes out from behind the trail. So the grandmothers are so unpredictable.

I bought you a straw yesterday, today he died. Doctors say from old age; of course, if he were young, he would have escaped from KAMAZ. Qwerty

Sammy: <X-traz> Engage in love and not war.
Jack is right!
They beat black people in Moscow.
Jack: Do you offer to fuck them? :D

Drone: Pizzetz, today it was boring at the frizzle, so we played in the snake. A bunch of column students runs through the hall, collecting disassembled chips-cones and after each such chip, another fifth person joins this bunch... They finished playing when the students finished. Prepod promised to repeat the game next time... >_<

On March 1, I watched the broadcast of Galileo. A story about Italian dishes. The voice after the picture confidently stated that Edam cheese is not for this salad, but it is better to put Mozarella from beef milk.
Take zoology back to school.

Let’s get married " Let’s get married"

The bridegroom commented on the other bridegroom:
He has no male beginning.

The main thing is the man’s end!

I am: Mom!!!))))))

I go out for a walk with the dog.At the entrance there is a hibzdzhnik, a friend of Romka from the second floor. The dog, naturally, laughs at him, I feel:"Dush, fu!Do not touch the internal organs!"

From the discussion of the Egyptian events on Lente.ru
xxx:... for example, the Great French Revolution of 1789 and similar ones, when the democratic system was established. ...
Yyy: As a result of the French Revolution, the Jacobian dictatorship was established, and then the dictatorship of General Bonaparte. Specifically, which of these regimes do you call democratic?

The power is the faithful servant of the people, but it steals a lot.

The Clash of Civilizations
My college friend bought a house with a plot under Peter.
The house is large, beautiful, two-storey with a loft, but very old - it has not smelled repair for forty years.
At the family council it was decided to invest a bunch of money, but to make a huge chocolate candy from the house...
They studied the construction prospectus and concluded that the roof should be personally covered by the living Finns, somehow with their nano-technological megashiffer.
Expensive, but half a century of Finnish guarantee also means something, because the rain in
Peter is a permanent state of heaven.
Parallel, hired a brigade easier: three people from the Russian depth
- for insulation, sewing and everything there, breaking out old floors, in a word - all but the roof.
At the appointed hour, a huge truck arrived at the house, unloaded a shiffer, tools, foods, bottles of drinking water, a bio-toilet and two sick Finns.
The masters inspected the house, counted, threw and announced to my friend:
“Come in exactly a week, the roof will be ready.”
Then they quickly consulted with each other in Finnish and with anxiety in the voice added: "In any case, come in a week not earlier than two o'clock in the day, so that we will definitely have time..."
Thro the week, the Finns went down from the roof only to visit their bio-toilets. There was no special dialogue with the Russian brigade – the language barrier, and not at all – every second is recorded.
Finally came the long-awaited day when my friend and family, burning out of impatience, just at two came to take the roof.
The Finns minute by minute, not only had time to splash 12 shirtes of urticaria for the siblings, but also to remove each tick behind them. They washed and dusted the whole roof where they lived. Not only: the owners were presented with a large box of candy and a bottle of wine, in honor of the birthday of the new roof.
My friend was stunned by the quality and speed of the Finns’ work, and equally – by the diligence of our brigade, which, besides, today was not.
They asked for a holiday. The unhappy owner walked around the house, rehearsing his mother’s speech for tomorrow’s meeting with the brigade, bending his fingers with shortcomings. (It was best for these men to find problems that needed unplanned, but urgent financial inputs.)
After the Finns arrived the car they drowned and finally gave my friend a package:
Transmit this to your guests and apologize for us for disturbing them.
to sleep...
(In the package were the same candy and wine)
Which guests were disturbed?
The Finns:
Those three people who stayed here.
We woke up at five in the morning, whispered and knocked the hammer until late at night. The poor slept for an hour. But the guys of the world, we were not offended, even vodka to drink called. We would drink with them if it wasn’t work.
Sometimes we also helped them when their wheelchair or volleyball ball flew to us on the roof.
By the way, your guests did not sunbath all the days, and even something on the farm.
You were made here: saucers mowed, piled. Send them a greeting from us. They didn’t let us miss, they did a show.

The unfortunate Finns lost the ability to move for ten minutes, even their buttocks hanged, when the master, after a long pause, revealed to them the terrible secret that those guys, at all not friends, not even relatives, but the same wage workers and "rest" they were about the same salary.

A man came to take his wife from the nursery, the wife goes out on the doorstep, the nurse carries the baby and says:
Their child?
The man is indecisive:
My blanket...

xx - and I have a bark on my eye)))
There is nothing to look at under the shirt.
XX - Do you think it is from there?? to

A single person is different from a married person in that he has all logs stored and automatic form filling is enabled.