bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №140092
 31.03.2017
No need to add anything.

In Volgogradsk collapsed a 20-meter monument to the builders. The monument was erected in 2011.

As they build, so is a monument.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140091
 31.03.2017
Witnesses say that near the polar station, where Putin and Medvedev came, began to gather unauthorized bears with posters "Dimon, don't shame the name!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140090
 31.03.2017
You know #vendorname surprised me.
YYY: No, and what then?
xxx: they sent the dealer certificate to ip Belarylov. Only in the certificate is whitefish. Instead of sending the correct certificate, they sent a letter with the signature of the head of the representation, stating that “Mr. Belorilov is to be considered Mr. Belorybov.” The palm on the face.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140089
 31.03.2017
Quote from the website of the "Name Guide":
The secret of the name lies in its origin, the number of slogans, sounds... All this determines the character, habits, even the future profession and family life of a person with a rare name.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140088
 31.03.2017
Comments on rumors that Apple could buy Disney:
Apple decided that buying all the companies in a row was a Google chip, and by habit stole it?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №140087
 31.03.2017
From time to time, the doors of our roads are unlocked. My poor Korean brains react to our roads like a continuous car accident, and they open the doors so that the driver can be caught and rescued. Unfortunately, no one will save me and other drivers from these roads.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140086
 31.03.2017
How is a three-foot jamb?
It’s like our Vasily Sergeich, he only has three feet to get on.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140085
 31.03.2017
My wife works in a company that manufactures and sells various kinds of goods and services for business and documentation. Including stamps, stamps and prints.
And here comes their order to make a print for surgeon seals with the logo and the name of the company. The logo depicts an elephant with a geometric relief, under which, in fact, the name is written.
The wife sends the logo to the designer to develop a layout with the accompanying text: "The stamp needs an elephant, and an inscription underneath it. The elephant is just smooth."
After a while, the machete arrives. On it an elephant without a geometric filling, and under it the inscription: "The elephant is just smooth."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140084
 31.03.2017
April 1, a letter from the provider... "and you have all the IPs white"... ;-)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140083
 31.03.2017
xxx: I interviewed an active FBI agent ten years ago, he came to Irkutsk to exchange experiences. I, of course, first asked him why the FBI killed Lennon.
Xxx:...
This man didn’t know who Lennon was.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140082
 31.03.2017
Vladimir Soloviev: Interestingly, how many among the detainees are avoiding the army call? Will they be able to serve immediately from the police station?

Is service in the army mandatory?

Kamushkinpisya: This is how American spies are burning...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №140081
 31.03.2017
1: In the work process sometimes curious questions arise... For example, untold wealth is wealth not taken into account by estimate?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №140080
 30.03.2017
I want something good... clean, bright...
The unfiltered?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140079
 30.03.2017
xxx: Just for me, Ochor and Umbra are fundamentally different things, like sausage and cream, and for them - "brown".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140078
 30.03.2017
For the proposal to continue the phrase "In the beginning it was....", having in possession the third and fifth letters "O",the lady no second without hesitation wrote "In the beginning it was bad".

That is genius! You can build a new religion on this... stop, my imagination!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140077
 30.03.2017
Know how to write Rusalock in printed letters, even with mistakes - the fairy tale would have been completely different.

or... to paint?No, if there were no brains - the story could not end otherwise.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140076
 30.03.2017
- Where now in the Russian Federation can you cheaply make a watch according to its design, so that they do not break in six months?
In any part of the Russian Federation, knock a rod in the ground - you will get an eternal clock. It will only work in sunny weather. But cheaply. The design itself.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140075
 30.03.2017
I totally forgot where a person has triceratops.
Yyy: Between the elbow and shoulder
Not Triceratops, but Triceps
Zzz: If I had a triceratops in my hand, I would have been able to bite people with them.
If you had triceratops, you would be a vegan.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140074
 30.03.2017
> to the scanwords.
We work for 40 years of donation.
So, by guessing the scanword, I stumbled to rewrite the New Testament.
For the proposal to continue the phrase "In the beginning it was....", having in possession the third and fifth letters "O",the lady no second without hesitation wrote "In the beginning it was bad".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140073
 30.03.2017
When you have a professional boxer and a couple of fighters without rules at work in the QA department, something is crazy to fuck...

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