bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149840
 19.03.2018
Check in the metro:
When I go with the suitcase on the wheels, it enters the enlightening closet, it is checked.
When I go with a 80 litre backpack. Within a bunch of iron, a sword! (I go to the historical reconstruction.) The frame is up to maximum. No one checks, because the backpack does not fit into the enlightening closet. I walk without stopping.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149839
 19.03.2018
I explain to a friend the characteristics of working in a Chinese company.
My friend (D) You have a Chinese director.
No, but not meth. The Chinese are fully satisfied.
D. Matis of the Russian and Chinese.
A man and a condom.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149838
 19.03.2018
>>>> The challenge is dropped!
>> God is not in the temple, but in the soul,

Per, even if there is a Christian here, able to answer without "you still will not understand" and "it is not understandable at all".

Under soul in all cultures is usually understood a person or something of this kind. You cannot say that she is in you, because it is you in her.
2) As God is a metaphysical entity, CB is not a place, but a state. To get into this state, it is necessary to find peace with yourself and forgive yourself, which is easier if you have refrained from shame all your life;
Every person has his own perception, there are no two identical personalities. There is not that God has each his own, every dirty stone in the universe is distorted by perception.
4) Muslims call their God Allah, while Buddhists do not see any difference and do not call anything. The Buddha is the teacher and example of a man who has successfully reached the Nirvana – the freedom of the individual from the body shell and the entanglement on the bodily way of life, which is repeated, repeated, and all overwhelmed; the true Buddhist has truth in the soul, not conscience;
Everyone has something of its own, and if a person believes that he has no soul, then it is! But if he’s bothering a lot about it, it’s a cry for help.
If so, I’m a troll and a pagan, and I worship fire and sun, but I’m bored and I can’t pass by and leave my smoking fat IMHO.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149837
 19.03.2018
This is one of the most common opinions of modern anthropologists. Our ancestors evolved as hyper social animals. At some point, interaction in the herd became even more important for survival than interaction with the rest of nature. Accordingly, the mind developed under such pressure and began to see social phenomena in natural phenomena. Thus e. When the trouble happened, the brain in the pattern thought not "how did it happen?", but "why am I so?" "who am I so?", "who am I angry with and how can I please him?". In response to these questions, spirits first arose, and then other persistent memes that grew into religion. So mysticism is a natural product of the creativity of a healthy brain, and even if a mental bomb wipes out all of humanity’s memory of religions, they (religions) will recover quite quickly.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149836
 19.03.2018
In the evening of 18.03. I think, if Sobchak won the elections (Tfu-Tfu) and went to a decree, would she not have been fired for 3 years and had to hold re-election to replace her? Failure to comply with the RF Code? Or is the next candidate automatically becoming an IO?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149835
 19.03.2018
My friend has a horse for a trip. More precisely his wife. So, according to him, this fox burns 47 tons of bubble per month.
What about the horse?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149834
 19.03.2018
Commentary on the anime film:
And why is it 90 minutes as on the website it goes 1 hour 30 minutes

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149833
 19.03.2018
You will be poisoned, but you are not a spy.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №149832
 19.03.2018
I knocked on the door early in the morning. I am drawing to cover. At the door is a woman from the neighboring house, all in tears and trying to say something. I try to figure out what they want from me, but crying through doesn’t really work. I know something happened, but I don’t know what. I try to calm down and ask what happened, but it’s more calm. In response, he shakes his hands and calls for himself.
About the neighbor I knew that I was divorced, living with a daughter and a young son. My son has some developmental disorders.
We approach her house. I see a cat lying on the grass next to the house and her children standing in tears next to her. The cat was lying still, the whole body was in blood. He seemed to have turned into a bow to hide from pain, and even from the fear of dying.
From the stories in between with tears, I realized that the cat fell under the car. The driver did not even stop, although he saw that he was screaming and screaming.
After removing the jacket and placing it next to it, I carefully moved the cat. There is a veterinary clinic nearby. I invite my neighbor to go there. Through tears, I agree.
While I carried the cat to my car, it seemed to me that I felt how he was hurt and bad, how hard it was given to him every breath... We sat down with the company and went.
The veterinarian examined the cat and advised him to sleep. To be honest, I still don’t understand what he was thinking if he could say this to crying children.
And the cat...If I hadn’t seen it myself, I would have thought I was being deceived. Like saying goodbye to the children, the cat, overcoming severe pain, slipped on the table to them. And when the supplement, the boy stretched out his hand and the cat laid his head on her.
I had somebody knocked at my throat, and my eyes were traitorily moist. I bite my lips, and in my head came the phrase of my army captain:
If you are willing to give up and drop your hands... I was wrong.
I go out and call a friend, a volunteer in the animal rescue group. I quickly describe the situation, ask about the cat's emergency. Give the phone and address of the clinic, in half an hour drive. I call and explain the situation. They say they will wait. I quickly come back and explain the situation to the neighbor. I take the cat back into the car. And in my head there is only one thought: only to survive, only to bring alive.
They arrived. We were really waiting. The doctor quickly examined the cat, looked at the pictures and quickly directed to the operation, saying only that the situation is difficult, but there is a chance.
It took several stressful hours before the doctor came out and said the cat would live, but it would require good care and long rehabilitation. For the first time in a few hours, I saw the smiles in the eyes of children wet from tears. By the face of my mother, I realized that a long rehabilitation they could not pay. He sent her to feed and reassure the children to the nearest cafe. So I had the opportunity to discuss everything with the doctor. The approximate amount was not small, but I was able to pay it. Having arranged the payment deadlines, I went to take the neighbor and her children to take home. The cat stayed in the clinic for a week.
I was not in my office that day. When I got home, I opened a bottle of whisky, but I didn’t want to drink.
The cat spent 2 months in the clinic and I visited him when he brought the money. I saw that it wasn’t easy for him and the procession was slow, but when I remembered like a cat, overcoming the pain of the children, I knew that the cat would win.
Then the wicked worshippers wrapped up and carried. I rented a house and moved to another city.
And this story reminded me recently of a girl veterinarian when I brought my cats for vaccinations. She remembered me and knew me. She could not recognize that crying teenage girl. After that, she decided firmly for herself who she wanted to be.
The cat still lives with her mother and her brother. It is already old, a little crumbling after the operations. But they love him very much. And he loves them. I saw everyone smiling on the photo. The smiling cat too.
Love and goodness to all.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №149831
 19.03.2018
How do you think Americans can influence the outcome of our election?
They are not so naive. We ourselves cannot...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149830
 19.03.2018
When he remembered how he read Tom Sawyer and Heck Finn in his childhood, he handed the book to his 11-year-old son. And, holding my breath, I watched how I was captivated by the story, and the reading continued and continued – no one even remembered the tablet. But my joy ended after the question of where to take the dead cat for a march to the cemetery... Now I think how to hide a book, or so far away the islands with bodies and caves begin.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149829
 19.03.2018
The Olympics are funny
Now bury the body back. It is good to rape him.
The Olympics were initially a religious and political event. When it was resurrected, they tried to replace the religious component with the ideological. Now it is dead, and the Olympics has become just another tool of competition of the great powers. In particular, as demoralization and provocation. We don’t need that, honestly.
And the sport? Well, yes, a bit of a pity for real athletes, for whom it has become a goal, a dream and a way of life. Mainly because they have become a consumable material in this mechanism.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №149828
 19.03.2018
Mothers do not deal with children. They are engaged under the pretext of a child - such a child is denied his own needs, feelings and thoughts until he is fifteen years old to explode a crazy grenade. From that moment, the cover will be that I put my life on an ungrateful creature, and he dares to declare to me that he does not want to become a ballerina, so that I can boast of everything, and wants to be a tankist! She dreamed of becoming a ballerina and did not become, so the ballerina will be a son - and not quicken)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149827
 19.03.2018
Once Torquemadu was accused of apostasy: earlier he preached love and all-forgiveness, and now - burns people on fires. I did not change my beliefs, I replied to Torquemad, I became stronger in them.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149826
 19.03.2018
The soul goes nowhere after death. It means that a person stops breathing, and not that the projection of his personality traits sits somewhere on the cloud.
The posthumous life in the Bible is not spoken of as exile from the body, but as the resurrection of all the dead on the day of the terrible judgment - and already then the filter of the righteous to live in the kingdom of God. None of you will be in any hell, Hell - the concept is not biblical, but from the ancient Greek Aida (in English from the Scandinavian Hal - this is the type of the green babe - antagonist from the third "Tora" at Marvel) - it meant simply a grave, "heaven fire" - it was a garbage burning factory under Israel, so the biblical words " sinners canoe into the fire" means literally "disappear as burnt garbage".
Dante's work is literary and artistic. He criticizes his own earthly realities and vices through the fantastic assumption of the fictional “Aad.” This is a good work, but it is not a Christian canon anywhere.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149825
 19.03.2018
EL: He participated in the congratulations. I remembered "$%@!".
We only have 3 ladies. They bought them flowers and drove them home.
To not hinder the celebration?
Tag: to work
They are the perversors.
Who will protect the homeland?
El is military. They are for that.
They cannot do without us. Remember, our ancestors, engineers, used to eat potatoes, because colloquial farmers were nimagli? here here. Lovely traditions.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149824
 19.03.2018
In human interaction there is an interesting violation of symmetry. We willingly believe the one who says “I’m a fool,” but never the one who says “You’re a fool.”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149823
 19.03.2018
We go out with my husband from the polling station, at the fence is a woman of 50, decently dressed, nothing predicted, shorter. Just matched with her, she immediately asks with warmth who we voted for. For Putin? No is? Right, he is a Jew! As I digest information, my husband is like this:
Wow, where were you before? Shirt, have you heard? How did we not know, we would vote for ours, not for the goy of somebody!
And he begins to sing "Hava Nagila". The woman looks around and, without turning her back to us, retreats to the corner of the house.
I'm glad to know that my husband fucking any city crazy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149822
 19.03.2018
xxx: she was not in the Russian Post yet, there she would have at all put a nuclear ""
yyy: She would have answered the police call "I know this department. It is time. Let it explode!"

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149821
 18.03.2018
At the next table, a man mixed chemicals in the test tubes.
The newcomer, thought Stirlic. – (c)

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