Nokia CEO Steve Elop: “There are no dual-core processors in smartphones”
People: "Nahera in the phone 41 megapixel camera?"

Homophobia is the first symptom of latent homosexuality.

And if you do not accept violence, then by this logic you are a latent rapist.
If you do not tolerate drunkenness, you are a latent alcoholic.
You think you need to work - a latent tunaeader.
Fuck, all these homosexual-psychologists, march, latent fools.
A simple man.

RT @barrduck: again Monday? Every day, every week, the same thing.

The Ural Zato. (Closed city with a nuclear theme)
I work after the distribution institution.
Oral questionnaire in the local "security department":
Finally the tortured letter captain (k) and I (I)
Q: Do you have relatives who are not currently living in the city?
I: Yes, mother, brother, sister
Sister - complete or partial parenthood?
I: in the sense?
Q: Sister is born in the father’s line and in the mother’s?
I: Well yes...
Brother: Full or partial parenthood? On the paternal line and on the maternal?
See also: UGU
Q: The mother is a parent on the father’s line and on the mother’s line.
I: "broken" emm... well, yes, on the mother’s line... 0_O
the edge of the eye I notice - puts in the column: "partial"

Anton, I’m afraid we’ll have to replace you with a man.

My husband gives me injections, terribly sick. The back flew out again.

Yesterday I swallowed the sponges:

I’m not going to bet today! Today is holiday! I do not want!

Husband: It is your decision. of your health.

I: Why do you talk to me like an adult?! to

The husband: Okay. Then I will now tie you, shut your mouth, place you in a corner, bind your eyes, take off your clothes.

I: - E-E-E-E-E... You talk to me like an adult again!

Our cat knows how much time is on the clock! )) We from Ukraine, with my husband freelancer, we get up at 9 usually... a cat, bite, knows what before the hoverboard will not get, but exactly at 9 wakes up every day, they called her "cat waker", the usual start is not necessary... today the first day when we moved to summer time, but she again at 9 we woke up! How is? I only have one answer: it’s a shit.)

Shi: You don’t love me!
It is:' (
Fuck me, I love it. You are a fucking fool.

Q: What is this new app on your phone, what does it do?
HN: shows the temperature of horneia celery
You are fucking fucking, do you know?! to

The younger sister received "2". My mother sits and reads. The reaction:
"My mother You are fighting. It is like in sport.
"5" - The Gold Medal
"4" - gold and gold
"3" - Bronze
a "2" is an honorary literature.

and robbery:
My dog has developed a reflex :(
When I rub Ramstein, she takes the carpet with her teeth and goes to the hallway :(

Announcement: 1 March Opening of the Salon-Shop "STOK"
(The first comment )
The Spring ;D

Do you want a stupid, stereotypical joke about punk?
WOW : WOW
Panthers love the Russian Wind. You can get out of the system!by 11
See also :DDD
zzz: o yes))) and thenë it’s shit))
I have 5 points ?

From this day on, I stop this holiwar and declare the toilet the real killer of the iPhone.

They clean the snow from the roof, the workers try, a specific squeeze, the comas of snow falls, and here, along with the snow, the cat flies in the voice of the eagle... see the matte, but it is scary for him, then the spade flies, and the selective mat from the roof, the fox from where you came here!!! Workers are awake.

J: Dear, give me a flash with the NNN presentation.
(M suits trying to insert in the left USB port)
It does not eat!!! to
M: What is wrong?
You cannot go to this port. He is still a virgin!! to
M: O_o

Elizabeth: The Helpanites
Elizabeth: I have a problem.
Elizabeth: I went into the room.
Elizabeth to her boyfriend
Elizabeth: and he shakes on anime
Elizabeth: It is terrible.
Elizabeth: Advice what to do?
Emp21: Em... sushi?

Sorry, here is your nose, I found it in my business.

Going out of work on Friday, he said to the guard:
Wait for me on the third day, with the first rays of the sun.

xxxxxxxxxxx:
I found a simple marmelade recipe.
Where can I get the agar-agar??? Not a desire?

WOW :
Maybe they are selling it =)

xxxxxxxxxxx:
Oh, on the suharka there is) and I thought that in this ass of the city, except for puzzles and puzzles, there is nothing to find.)
It turned out - no hero - there are puzzles, gopniks and agar-agar)))

WOW :
Probably the same trades. Reason: "nu type no more so rust name"))