bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №44955
 24.03.2011
The morning. Sitting in front of honey. conference, we set up the equipment. A girl approaches us, stretches the flash with the presentation and asks to drop it on the notebook. The further dialogue:
XXX: Girl, and there are no viruses on her?
Men, you are so interesting! How to flash, so "Are there viruses?", and as in bed without a condom - so always ready.
This is the cynicism of medical professionals!! to

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №44954
 24.03.2011
Seven Estonian cyclists taken hostage in Lebanon.

The best comment:
This is the Estonian army. The whole Estonian army - return our army to us!! to

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №44953
 24.03.2011
The porn video on the Garden Ring was sentenced to six years in colony.

No one is embarrassed that they can give less for murder?

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №44952
 24.03.2011
Dantalian
The damned parasitic smile "-)" I see more and more that I use my own example.

Corvin
and ROFL
brainwashing in action

Dantalian
If only the brains.

Corvin
? to
Dantalian
She recently wanted to make me a surprise - to wash the shape. As a result, I washed it along with the pants and a pink sweater.

Dantalian
I only caught up in the morning. My mother’s office included me in the group of pink cats.

Corvin
and ROFL

Dantalian
The last time the boss laughed so much when the detective drove the rubbish in the department, getting stuck in the trunk. I don’t see it >_<

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №44951
 24.03.2011
I always buy candy to my son, and I eat most of it myself.
What, does he not like?
He does not succeed.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №44950
 24.03.2011
Jesus drove the merchants out of the temple.
Since then, the merchants have grown wise and bought temples for themselves.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №44949
 24.03.2011
xxx: ahhh lol
yyy: suddenly I was introduced to a medieval lady, who, covered with a light ruby and swirling with an elegant wind, with a breathing voice: "Ah... Lol".

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №44948
 24.03.2011
Programming: Sanj, you would
by admin?? to
You fuck up with software and iron. soft male, iron - female))
Admin: So then you get the Piddars, the code is of the male kind! HDD
Filed to:Fuck
Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu.
I am the most fortunate.
I am at least with people.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №44947
 24.03.2011
XX: Do you know what AI is?
The Atomic Herod? The antibody of Isaac? The Arctic Intelligence?
YYY: The agony of YYY?
The Army of Ingushetia?
YYY: Armageddon of Engineering?
An anal irbis?
YYY: What is AI?
XXX: These are my initials
xxx: Alexander Igorovich

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №44946
 24.03.2011

-I went today to put on the account 50 rubles, I give 100, I say: "five hundred", she heard "five hundred", without looking, took my 100 and counted me 500 :D
I just walked by a rabbit in the trail (you’re better).

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №44945
 24.03.2011
Today opened the system monitor to watch after the changes of energy, as if the bp burned, I open everything in the dust and put on the dust "There was Zhenya 2008"

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №44944
 24.03.2011
March 23 is Meteorological Day. In Moscow today was: snow, rain, fog, grad, sun and thunder. Nature as much as it could.

[ + 75 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44943
 24.03.2011
From the news tape:
In Kiev on Tuesday, March 22, about 12:30 on the street of Yelenovskaya on the Podol, due to the Mercedes car parked on the tram rails, a traffic jamming was formed.
According to the portal, about 20 angry passengers came out of the tram and began to knock their fists on the hood and beat their feet on the wheels, but the alarm did not work. The car owner did not come out.
" Here is the fall! Stall, goat, in the middle of the road, and how to walk? Koreans are waiting for me! Drink if I’m late! – one of the passengers was upset.
After a few minutes, passengers and passing students picked up the car, and moved off for a meter, freeing the tramway.

You say Chelyabinsk.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №44942
 24.03.2011
News: "Russia loses billions in rows"
Comment: "And I met a cute girl in the line (later my wife).Be damned...this line... "

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №44941
 24.03.2011
It is not a shame that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it is a shame that there is always a foolish laugh.

[ + 76 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44940
 24.03.2011
The story is not mine, I read in the book where it is quoted. Sorry for the length, but read it, you will not regret it. To shorten it, and already shortened, I did not raise my hand.
An excerpt from the story “The Old Man and the River” by S. Thanks. KP, 21 November 1992
...Return of the river Great Ic that year "shoot" to the surrounding area
of Nazareth. The furious spring water hit the shores throughout the spring, turning them, "eating" the remaining fifty meters to the village. The old men walked out, silent. By night they were separated so as not to sleep, to whirl, to listen to the playing water.
That spring, many children came to the elderly by urgent telegrams.
They approached the breach, measuring with their eyes the distance left to their father’s homes. The next morning, having co-operated, they began to shake up the old people's houses and transport them somewhere. By the autumn, when it was winter, there were seventy courts left in Nazareth with old women and old men. There were no young people in the village. The alarm drowned in the snow until spring.
The turn in the souls of Moscow officials in that winter the old Goryanin did not produce. Wearing heavy from orders and medals jacket, frontman Sergei
Kuzmich Goryanin travelled to Moscow for the truth. He told in the capital, as in the middle of the lost in the heart of Russia village Nazarkin, a river flows.
The Big IQ. In the spring, "she is just crazy" - washes the shores, taking away houses and graves.
A single-eyed old man spoke in every way (he beat his right eye on the front). He explained that for fifteen years, local elders gave orders to deputies of the council and the Kugarchynsky council (as of now).
- Administration), the Supreme Council of Bashkiria - with a request to help dig out the surrounding canal. It is useful. Our power is our mother.
But in the capital, the old man got a turn from the Moscow gates.
The villagers understood everything without words when the Gorjanin returned.
The return to spring came quickly. In those days of March, Sergei
Kuzmich Goryanin long before the icebreaker went to the desert on the spring days of the shores of the Great Ike. I thought of something, measured the steps of the shore far beyond the village, turned back.
Before the very icebreaker Goryanin proposed to dig out the surrounding canal, so that the river would circumvent the village. The old men raised Sergey Kuzmich to laugh.
After the war and later, in the 1960s, the local collective farmers tried twice to dig out the surrounding canal - each yard was only three meters.
And they couldn’t. Would the other half of the people in the village be able to do it?
The landlord has left the landlords. That spring, the river took away five more houses and a rural store.
And here on an ordinary spring day, the 62-year-old disabled of the Great Patriotic War Sergey Kuzmich Goryanin alone went out of the outskirts of his native village of Nazarkinos with a spark in his hands - under the ridicule and bullying of the countrymen.
The river did not turn that year. But Goryanin excavated the first 30 meters of the two-meter-deep canal, working from dark to dark, until mid-November, until the stalk stopped taking ground. In October, he fell asleep twice, and twice he was dumped by his wife Matren Grigorievna, who wore the old man's lunch in a raw clay gap. Hundreds of cubes of pulled clay broke their back, and the empty eyelid became dull.
The following spring, the water also did not go through the surrounding canal, only broke down the walls and poured the stream. Thro the spring, summer and autumn, the old man cleansed the canal and raised its walls. He deepened it to four meters, reaching granite.
A reversal in the consciousness of the mountaineers; it never happened. There was no day that anyone, going on fishing or fishing, did not turn to Goryanin on the canal. Spreading the coat on the raw debris of clay, carved by the old man, began the conversation.
When he fell asleep on his chest in the canal, I told him in a friendly way:
“I’ll take you, Serega, from here forward with your feet.” He cried out to me, “Go away.
one of the peasants of Goryanin laughs contagiously, looking at the
and me.
You go fishing in the evening, and he rows everything. It is already dark, but he
He jokes, “I put the sun on, it’ll wait,” says the almost deaf.
The neighbor of Goryanin Altuchov.
The stubborn old man digged and digged the canal, going further and further from the village and the homeland tombs, taken annually by the Great Ic in the spring. Three years have passed.
His 65-year-old man met on the channel. Matrena Grigoryevna gave him a new stitching blade.
In the fourth year, long before the icebreaker, Goryanin went out on a snowy breeze - in three years he broke 80 meters of the canal along the curve of the globe and hoped that the Great Ic would rush into the canal, expanding and breaking the stream.
This did not happen. The old man understood that the time granted by God for the rest of his life might not be enough. Thro the spring he drove with some fantastic machine made of rusted metal pipes.
By the summer, an unusual structure was installed on the edge of the canal, causing new bullying of the peasants.
The turn of affairs with the installation of a new car occurred cardinal. It was a manual "crane" with a two-meter arrow hanging over the canal.
The old man climbed to a depth of four meters, filled the box with earth, climbed the ladder up, launched a self-made petrol engine and raised the box up. And so hundreds of times, like the old protein, up - down, up - down...
"Mechanization" in only one year helped the old man to advance 150 meters with a depth of 4 meters.
The old Goryanin came to ask for a tractor from the director of the Soviet farm "Oktobersky". Sergey Kuzmich realized that he didn’t succeed. In the sixth spring of the mountain work, the river took an entire street and
It has eaten more than half of the gardens of Nazarkin. The village fell into complete extinction and desolation.
- We told him with the whole family - let go of digging, it will not withstand the heart,
I was told by Goryanin’s daughter, Maria Sergeevna. He has the right.
The side began to retreat, we had to move away urgently.
For the sixth year, Goryanin worked as an obsessive, continuing to bite into the ground. He had blood in his throat twice that year. The old man then understood that the water would not go through the surrounding canal until the main stream of the river was sealed.
For several months, from darkness to darkness, he rubbed on the shore of trees, cut off the roofs, sculpted, sliding on the roof to the river. From the bars he bound the barrel, knocked into its middle a vertically torching barrel with a rolled top roll, through the roll missed a rope with a knot attached. For the rope he lifted the rope up, dropped the rope - the rope smashed down. So the Goryanin began killing the collies across the Great Ic.
The whole work was turned 180 degrees. By autumn, the old man had bordered half the river. Now this parcel had to be wrapped with the vine, making a "wrapping" on the river.
After cutting the vineyards, the old man for several months, before the beginning of November, dive to the bottom, touching the vineyard. Then he got “right-sided lung inflammation,” as the officer recorded. In the words of the mother,
Grigorievny, “blinked” with the loose eye. The other eye
There was no fire, there was darkness.
That day, Matrina Grigorievna had already brought her husband lunch, and therefore, there was nowhere to wait for help (the zevaki with the onset of the cold stopped going to the canal). The old man sat in silence for a couple of hours and accidentally went to the village. He wandered through the forest until dawn. In the morning, he was found forty kilometers from Nazarkin, the old man was sitting senselessly, falling to a huge pebble.
All the winter Goryanin was in the hospital, the vision of the left eye was partially restored.
For the seventh year, the calculations of the old man were justified: the quiet water behind his dam froze almost to the bottom and together with the dam itself stopped the main stream in the spring. The flood rushed through a free canal to circumvent the village.
Return to that seventh year of mountain work the river finally made, bypassing the village on the Great Arc of the Channel. Nazarbayev was spared. But a few kilometers away from the village, Big Ik suddenly stumbled upon a wall of a large forest. The old man could not foresee this.
The water level rose sharply, removed the old-fashioned dam, and the water rushed again along the old runway in the center of the village, taking away the last houses.
On the same day, Goryanin went to the district center for seals.
And for three years, the old man cut the forest alone, talked to the trees like to people. He was almost completely blind, broke seven tails, and the tail became longer and longer, moving away from his home.
of Nazareth. The old man worked and in the winter, from the farm, where he previously was a guard, had to resign.
Ten years later, the torture work was completed. The old man was 72 years old. He celebrated his birthday on the channel ten times. The channel with a length of 550 meters, a depth of 4 meters and a width of a meter was ready.
In the following spring, ten years after the day when the old man first came out with a sparkle over the vicinity, the Great Ic stumbled in the direction indicated to him by Goryanin's hand, definitively and irreversibly.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №44939
 24.03.2011
The West can forgive Gaddafi that he is a dictator and a murderer, but the fact that in Libya gasoline costs 14 cents per liter is already nonsense.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №44938
 24.03.2011
If you’re a Kunis master and you don’t have a girlfriend yet, who have you trained with? 0 - O

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №44937
 24.03.2011
I’m sitting in the shelter for the Celestia program (well there is our galaxy, all the planets, the stars, everything you can spin and look at). Well, in general, I get caught up, I fly from star to star... From behind the guy approaches, looks at the monkey and says, “What are you, Grisha, lost?”

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №44936
 24.03.2011
Commentary of the bank specialist: The client came in accompaniment of a third person. He is referring to him "mama".

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