bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111128
 24.03.2015
Apparently, the suit helped to notice that he is no longer just a hopeful smart boy in jeans, but quite an adult smart and intelligent man.
--------------------------------
And I thought it should be noticed by the results of the work :)
At work, Timid goes in jeans and sweaters. For 40 years, he is very smart. His team deals with some of the most difficult tasks. veterans of the company. In sweaters and jeans. Comfortably so. And no one will be put in his place for his dress. Because the boss needs the result, not the costume.
Moreover, the director (including the general) only wears costumes for meetings with clients, speeches at conferences, presentations and similar events. They also go to work without costumes. And why? It is so comfortable :)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111127
 24.03.2015
From the discussion of mobile phones:
xxx: My Nokia 3310 is so strong that I put it under the foot of the closet that it would stand straight, and when the vibrator alarm worked, the foundation gave a crack - the house did not withstand seismic activity.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111126
 24.03.2015
xxx: The internet cried out)) Did not work))) Where I was no connection. Even the enemy is not old to visit there)))
YYY: What is the deadly place?
XXX: The 404 Cabinet!!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111125
 24.03.2015
xxx: Horoscopes are all the shit invented to make money on their composition.
Don’t argue with me, I’m an eagle!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111124
 24.03.2015
>>> Not showing the finger is still nonsense. Yes, everyone was taught, but this is a complete idiotism - instead of simply pointing somewhere with the finger, you need to tell for half an hour that "it's the one on the left of the breeze and on the right of the pillar."

There is a great book by Anatoly Markushi "Men under 16 years old", where he describes several examples of how to briefly and clearly communicate your thought to the interlocutor. The man, by the way, by profession, a pilot, knew what he was writing. Unfortunately, we in the vast majority of people in childhood are not taught to save their own words, time and nerves of the interlocutor.
To point a finger at people is not polite.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111123
 24.03.2015
Contextual advertising is:
I went on a contract to work in Saudi Arabia without a wife, respectively, I am looking for information about the country and life there. The country is very strict.
Context advertising offers to buy a rubber woman.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111122
 24.03.2015
Psychiatry was and will be exclusively charlatanism.
Today you are forcibly isolated for your own good for three days, and tomorrow you are taken to the organs for the benefit of society.
YYY: You need to talk to a specialist, just a couple of months in the clinic and working in groups will help you change your mind!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111121
 24.03.2015
I am generally drawn from this old lady, from her manners, lines of behavior, style of clothing. She is over 80 years old, but she will appear at some event, in her background all the other politicians look like poor relatives.

-----------
Because they are all Democrats and she is the queen.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №111120
 24.03.2015
If you walk in clothes, and not wear carefully, like a basket of eggs in the subway at the peak hour, then, of course, temperament and accumulation will be enough for a short time. and what? The main thing is that people and clothes do not smell and there is no obvious dirt (except for shoes in wet weather, this is the norm). And such a person looks like a person, not like a shit TP, constantly fixing and wiping the shoes with towels. The clothes are for us, not we for the clothes.! to

In my mind, I believed you existed. Or am I from the future who can express my thoughts?

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111119
 24.03.2015
Property rights of children:
1st If I like it, it is mine.
2nd If it is in my hand, it is mine.
Three If I can take it from you, it is mine.
4 is If I had it recently, it is mine.
5 is If it is mine, it should never be yours.
6 is If I build something, all the parts are mine.
7 is If it looks like mine, it is mine.
8 is If I think it is mine, it is mine.
9 is If it’s yours, but I’m sperm, it’s mine.
10 is If I... Oh! Sorry, I read Microsoft’s Business Plan to you instead of Children’s Property Rights!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111118
 24.03.2015
This gesture just came to my mind. In the Roman Empire, in addition to the crucifixion, the same plantation was practiced. much less frequently. But I’m just afraid to imagine what the symbol of Christianity would have looked like if Jesus hadn’t had a little more luck.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111117
 24.03.2015
XXX: Just from the dentist. We opened a clinic next to the house and decided to take a risk.
YYY: And how then?
XXX: Breakdown of the template o.o.
YYY :?
Cabinets with glass doors. In all the offices as doctors girls aged 25. And on the reception - uncle under 50 professor looks))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111116
 24.03.2015
The story from one fairly famous legal lady (found the story on the Internet was not possible, I will tell it again in my own words).

At the dawn of her career, this lady was invited as a lawyer to a major meeting. In accordance with her feeling of beautiful girl dressed that day so that to make a pleasant impression of her beauty.
When during the meeting she attracted attention with some replication on the substance of the question being discussed, one of the attendees turned to her and, pleasantly smiling, asked: "Girl, bring coffee, please."


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111115
 24.03.2015
Professor of psychology and law at Stanford University David Rosenhan conducted an interesting experiment.
He selected eight completely normal people in all parameters. All of them turned to psychiatric clinics as people who are concerned about their mental health. Everyone was telling the truth about themselves and their condition, except for one detail - they allegedly heard voices saying "empty," "deaf," "touch." The doctors considered them mentally ill. They were all sent to clinics. Immediately after hospitalization, the doctors told them they felt great and no more voices were heard. Everyone was on treatment for 52 days and behaved like normal people. According to the results of treatment, seven were diagnosed with schizophrenia, and one was diagnosed with manic-depressive psychosis. After being discharged from the clinic, their condition was described by doctors as “improved,” “in remission,” but no doctor thought they had recovered.
After the results of the experiment were published, all psychiatric clinics questioned them, saying that such gross mistakes were impossible. Professor Rosenhan proposed to repeat the experiment, saying that he would send to them some more imaginary patients.
The clinics carefully diagnosed the following 193 patients and 41 of them were diagnosed with “pseudopathy.” In fact, the professor did not send a single person to the clinic.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111114
 24.03.2015
Where is the word "education"? Buying a husband's suit (along with him, naturally) and licking him a shirt - will it take his husband's brain out? Go to a psychiatrist.
___________________________
If a man decides that he needs a suit (and is ready to wear it), he will go and buy the suit himself.
And if you take an adult man by the pen and lead him to buy clothes he doesn’t like, then yes, it’s brainstorming in order to re-educate.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111113
 24.03.2015
She asked her husband to cook the strawberries.
Question: “Should it be scattered like a potato or float like a peel?” “It disappointed me for a long time.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111112
 24.03.2015
Buying a husband's suit (along with him, naturally) and licking him a shirt - will it take his husband's brain out?
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
Children up to the age of fifteen can buy a suit and smooth shirts. And an adult man, for whom they have already married, is assumed to be capable and not in need of a babysitter. He will go and buy.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111111
 24.03.2015
There is always a shortage of cabbage in the salad of life.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111110
 24.03.2015
When ministers repeatedly declare "In our country an economic crisis" - don't believe them, it is a slander: in a country where their children study, wives and mistresses rest and business thrives, no economic crisis has been and is not.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111109
 24.03.2015
There is always meaning if you think right.

If you think correctly, you can not drop your hands in a difficult situation, but play cards, the chess you have!

She thinks we’re both playing a fool, and I’m here, and I’m walking a horse!! to

c) the voa

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna