bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125851
 24.03.2016
xxx: at the banquet here they argued what the midi looks like by taste
xxx: nashah-stessnaya from the neighboring department that on sperm
xxx: we only blinked with our eyes, as our bearded macho-sisadmin responds
xxx: "really look like sperm eight-legged"
XXX: What should I do? I wanted to mess with him...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125850
 24.03.2016
and ha! In a rural restaurant in Tuscany, they ordered a table for tonight. When they arrived, they could not find themselves on the list for a long time. It turned out that we were four heads – the Fortunato family.
“I’ve already told you that in Starbucks I’m called Gosha, because “George” writes very blurry on the glasses and calls anyone but not George. One day I took a glass of cappuccino from the stand and it was written “The Horse.” So Fortuna is a good name, agree.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125849
 24.03.2016
It’s not as terrible to catch a virus as it is to catch a Chinese antivirus.

[ + 18 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125848
 24.03.2016
XXX: Will we go to the shabbas in the superland anyway?
You are my unseen witch.
Yes, we will go to Superland in Shabbas.
YYY: And you need to turn off will have on the keyboard auto correction
YYY: And I have

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №125847
 24.03.2016
Thus e. Before the birth, you did not know the size of your benefit, how will you live on it you did not think, and now suddenly came to consciousness?

You are idiot. The origin was just about not giving birth to children for the benefit. Father of two children. It’s scary for the country, yes.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125846
 24.03.2016
From the news discussion:

He crashed into two cars and was afraid to get out. I think it’s cool."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125845
 24.03.2016
Dice asks, is there a word "thickness" in Russian?
I - yes
How is it written?
I am so written. At the end, at
has written. I watched it "in the thick"
Let me say "You wrote in two words?)"
he - the autocorrection emphasized me, I corrected, the emphasis was removed.
Ppc)) At the thickness of the earth put your literacy.)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125844
 24.03.2016
DDD: The Spiritual Session? is enchanting! Prepare the record, don’t break the glass, I’m going.
Dvd and edu. I will be your priest.
A priest of love?
The Priest of Food!

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №125843
 24.03.2016
Yes to! Who told grandmothers that Yandex could watch where the bus was? Now they require young people at the stops "see the appendix".

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125842
 24.03.2016
They say that worse than a fool is only a fool with the initiative... But I will tell you: even worse a fool with the possibilities of its implementation...
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
These are our members!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125841
 23.03.2016
Oh, that was life!
measure the width.
And now the screams...

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125840
 23.03.2016
Dad (under 60 years old) is a typical Soviet engineer. Of those who really love everything that is broken, to repair with the help of a solder, a mouth of blue isolants and such a mother.

In general, the parents of the house broke the radio receiver (which is wired broadcasting), and the mother is bored without it to mess in the kitchen. Dad began to shoot to repair, and accidentally turned out the outlet in which the receiver stuck - it was dirty. Returning the socket to its place, he accidentally stepped down on the board, so as not to fall, he grabbed the door of the dishwasher. It did not fall, but the door had to be repaired. In the process of repairing the door broke the screwdriver (this is a real mystery). In the receiver, as it turned out, the wire was ripped off, paired it to the place, the father dropped a joint on the table sheet (putting the newspaper - for the bugs)...

In general, - my mother breathed hard, telling this story, - saving 300 rubles is still very expensive!

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125839
 23.03.2016
Dealing with the story "Share your infection", you would better address your doctor's splash. Do you know how it happens that a child has only 37.5? What kind of doctor at home? I will go to the clinic!"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125838
 23.03.2016
Oh well!

... in China, where inflation is also not low...

how much I remember 6 popular rubles for a dollar ± 10%, the rupee for this time 5 times devalued

And let me ask how you propose to create savings if more than half of the population of the Russian Federation lives below the poverty line. No one has cancelled Harvey. You can copy if instead of Seychelles to rest in Nice. If you choose between pasta for 12 rubles. And for 14 - in securities can only be invested a sexual fox. No more though.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125837
 23.03.2016
I ate butter in Domodedovo. I told my wife that the Gypsies were robbed.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125836
 23.03.2016
Moderators, I call on you!I am tired of reading the scratches of pseudo-smart dolboebs, which the Russians wrote in white, that this is a humorous site, and not a forum!Take the job, don’t miss them "smart "heads!!! to

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125835
 23.03.2016
The telephone conversation

A strong voice: Hello!
The child’s voice: Hi.
Solid voice: I would like to hear Dmitry Sergeevich, the company’s director "####". Can you call him on the phone?
The child’s voice: And he cracks.
Okay, I’ll call you later. (They are bad)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125834
 23.03.2016
In the crash of the cars of the FSB and the FSO rules violated themselves.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125833
 23.03.2016
Returns from cleaning.
There was a bunch of tobacco ashes inside.
The guy working out there: "Smoking is harmful to your laptop"
It has fallen)

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125832
 23.03.2016
The employment psychiatrist was very interesting. She began to ask standard questions, such as how the searches go, what your strengths/weaknesses are, what you want, etc. Word for word, we talked for half an hour. At the end of the conversation grit: find a job, think of me too.

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