bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140072
 30.03.2017
* All immersed in work in one room *

Engineer (laughing): Chief Patkovich, do you believe in B-ga?
Boss (aggressively): What purpose are you interested in?! to
The Methodist: To humiliate...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140071
 30.03.2017
The child was given a set for casting the composite skeleton of a human from plaster.

And in his incomplete four years, he collected a skeleton... a bracelet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140070
 30.03.2017
A little sister of a friend, five years old, approaches me, and absolutely seriously asks: Artem, do you have a mess?
With titanic efforts, holding back the rust, I ask: Who, forgive me, do I have?
To which I get an equally serious answer: Well, shit, there are stallions?

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140069
 30.03.2017
Green: The last few days of the weather in Peter reminds a wild concert of classics and heavy metal. You look out the window, and there the sun, the birds sing, full of Edward Grieg. While you will go out with the child to walk - there is already wind, snow, rain, city, cold, adish, AC/DC, METALLICA!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140068
 30.03.2017
When you register on the site of Total Dictation, there is a SMS with the text - the verification code is this, click it there)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140067
 30.03.2017
This is nothing else in the garbage. In the summer, some female primates glue them to the walls of cabins to change clothes on the beach.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140066
 30.03.2017
Brother gathered for the KISS concert: "me for a crack, or will die soon"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140065
 30.03.2017
When I took this remedy, my stomach worked like a clock.
What, tick and coconut every hour?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140064
 30.03.2017
Dmitry: A bit of statistics, in one of the stores of Samsung in my city, the sellers decided to calculate the statistics: for the month (February), despite the huge sign "Samsung" asked for boxes and chargers for the iPhone 342 times, of which 102 times were surprised, and why they are not in the Samsung and why there are no iPhones in the Samsung at all, this is all you need to know about Apple users.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №140063
 30.03.2017
We came with a colleague to the gas station, where you first pour gas and then pay. He filled the car, sat in the car and walked ten meters - parked near the gas station. We got out of the car and went inside, I bought a snack, and a colleague paid for gasoline. We were barely hit by a guard at the door. The bullet flew and ran somewhere. Well, okay, everything happens... We approach the box, and there some panic engines. My colleague of the cashier asks if it is possible to pay for Benz. She apologizes and asks to wait, takes the phone and calls the police. The reason for the call was that they poured gas and left without paying. At this time the guard runs, breathes out: gone, shit! I thought, is it really so? The cashier prepared to accept the payment, a colleague named the number of the column. There was a pause... In general, the cashier asked not to leave the column before paying.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140062
 30.03.2017
XXX Business Lunch
XXX: +10 to sleepiness.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №140061
 30.03.2017
For some reason, people who say something like “Well, you should be stressed!” usually don’t mean themselves.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140060
 30.03.2017
Late at night, when my parents are asleep, my boyfriend climbs to my window (private sector) and we do our "business"... Yesterday: the hour of night, the height of sex, I am on it. The blanket slipped and rolled somewhere on the floor. Suddenly the door opens, Mom falls, sees me in all its beauty and dyes at the threshold of what I saw... All I could do is say, “Ma, look, how I can!”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №140059
 30.03.2017
As a response to the opposition, officials are planning to go to the rally with posters "Corruption - our future", "Hands away from my yacht", "On TV did not show - there is nothing", "Fall the breakdown for a house for shelters", "My flashlight - my rules" and "I am a patriot - I steal only in Russia!“”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140058
 30.03.2017
by Andrei Bla
I was expelled from the couple.
Andrei: How
Andrei: I sleep
I am waking up.
Andrei says
Andrei:"You are being thrown out"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140057
 30.03.2017
<ZeroUnity> Have you ever thought that a prison chamber is just a kind of toilet cabin, extra equipped with a bed?
<ZeroUnity> And all prisoners are largely just people buried in the toilet.
<ZeroUnity> * closed.
<Sabrina> "Buried in the bathroom" =). Is this something from the work of Stephen King?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №140056
 30.03.2017
From the spaces of GJ, discussion "Ulisse":
X: Read by Jung. If worms were endowed with literary abilities, they would write using a sympathetic nervous system instead of a missing brain. From this time on, the predominance of psychic and verbal automation and complete neglect of any informative meaning. I suspect that something similar happened to Joyce, and that here we have a case of peripheral thinking with a strict ban on cerebral activity and its submission to the process of perception.
Y: Yung ordered jeans with payment in a row? In order to stretch the phrase "unknown h*йня" in this way, there is a need for extraordinary talent.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140055
 30.03.2017
The boy wore his girl's sapphera suit (36kg) Stones to video:

Chddd1: I have the same movements in the morning when I have to go to work.

S.cream: Try sleeping without a sapphire suit.

Chddd1: Also say that the bath without it should be taken. Is there a war, and I’m not ready?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140054
 30.03.2017
The Translator

Do you know Maria Spivak? Liho so translates names-names, even where it does not seem to be necessary, one Evil God of what is worth.
Feelings of Shuppo

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140053
 30.03.2017
Topic on the forum:"Did you know that Diana Gurskaya is not blind?".

Why not be blind???I was running naked in front of the telephone while she was singing. Piped...

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