bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111068
 23.03.2015
...
If you sit on the bank of a river for a long time, you can see the body of your enemy swim through it. ("The Art of War", China, IVv. B.C. is attributed to Sun Tzu.
YYY: In China, the climate is such that if you sit on the river for a long time, you will most likely get wet, freeze, get sick and can even give your own oak. Better not to sit.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111067
 23.03.2015
Previously was
Boy, wake up now!
I’ll sleep for 10 minutes and go to school.

Now is
Son, when are you getting married?
I’ll go to Thailand and get married a few more times.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111066
 23.03.2015
When they created Unicode, they thought 65,000 characters would be enough.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111065
 23.03.2015
I don’t know if I’m a woman, another would have been hysterical in that case for a long time. And I’m sitting here and thinking, “Well, I’ll arrange a flight arrangement, and what will it give me?” I’ll shake his nerves, I’ll ruin my mood... Better I’ll come, kiss him and say, “You’re the best anyway!”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111064
 23.03.2015
It is ===

You won’t believe... Very often during the show you hear a fun laugh and a loud whisper "Look out there! And so on!" By strange coincidence, these are boys in jeans and girls in minis.
No, I’m not saying that everyone who goes to the theater in jeans is an uneducated beast. But, do you know "Some 99% percent ruin the reputation of everyone else"(c)

It is...

It seems to me alone that the unlearned bull are all snakes that crawl into the theater to whisper, and not the people they whisper on?

An anecdote: sit a tragic and comedian of pre-retirement age, drink vodka.
They do not call. have forgotten!
And they do not call. The Oath!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №111063
 23.03.2015
In the junior classes, I said at home that I liked the girl, and my mom gave me chocolate for her. But this chocolate I gave to the bomja, and he brought me to school for it, and I all boasted that I lived with the bomja. I don’t know what I was thinking about then, but all my classmates were jealous of me.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №111062
 23.03.2015
Reddit: I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center. The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I’ve never felt safer and I’m saving $49.95 a month.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111061
 23.03.2015
Orlov commented on the match Zenit-Torino: "We need to motivate our players to hit the goal more, they hit very little." I agree with the commentator. Payment according to the results of the game. That is, 230 thousand rubles a day for the hospital is not a serious motivation.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111060
 23.03.2015
I read Vasilogkin's Facebook page: "There were fungi before... Under the hat of one mushroom, the inhabitants of the whole village could hide from the rain...Because the ecology was not disturbed...
Mom: I don’t know the number of mushrooms, but I saw a potato the size of a human head. In Chelyabinsk. I’m not sure if it’s a good environment.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111059
 23.03.2015
and OK. Two boys with the same skills and skills. One in a costume, the other in jeans. Who of them looks like a specialist, and who is a under-learned student and who would prefer to choose the chief? Or you compare a professional in jeans and a trainee in a costume, and this, in general, is called a "predecessor" and two hundred years ago for such one could be struck with a candlestick.
------------
The normal boss will arrange an interview, which will be conducted by their specialist. And on the basis of his recommendations, he will already make a decision. And those who recruit people for clothes are unlikely to recruit a professional team.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111058
 23.03.2015
Well, you will already clarify what you mean by the “powers” of the United States. Don't be afraid, in Russia for posts on the Internet are not planted.
and----
Sav Terentiev was forgotten when he called on the internet to punish the police officers, and at the court he was told that we all have them, so he insulted the social group.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111057
 23.03.2015
The phrase "Sex will be, I do not promise pleasure" - she was shocked... Subjugation in the phrase "Hule Paaaakcard" 2210... - I don't know how I survived :)))

— — —

The lady was shocked, not because she was such a virgin, but because of your "genial" jokes and unculture. They were always surprised by such dumb guys who thought they were such humorists once insulted the girl. It would be better, Peterson.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111056
 23.03.2015
I’m upset that you can’t find normal jeans anywhere.
Leo: It is yes
What is the name of this "boyfriend jeans"? Judging by their appearance "boyfriend"-it is a curved dwarf in diapers

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111055
 23.03.2015
Pentagon of films.
Divergent, insurgent, reducer, saprophite, coprophage

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №111054
 23.03.2015
A country where there is nothing to lose will always be stronger than those countries that have a blue dream.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111053
 23.03.2015
It seems to me that the most successful laws and decrees are not those adopted by lawmakers, but those that take into account human psychology. In Istanbul he heard the story of how Kemal Atatürk, coming to power, modernized society according to the Western pattern.
Ataturk is considered by them to be the father of the nation, the liberator who overthrew the Sultan, and although many admit that his methods were frankly dictatorial (he himself, by the way, considered himself a dictator), how else would it be to carry out reforms in a country with an 80-percent Muslim population? Only with authoritarian and harsh methods, very far from the modern European Union democracy.
Having firmly decided to put the country on the rails of civilization, he understood that until the beautiful Turkish women will not open the face, a secular state from Turkey will not be made.
And then a law was passed that strictly prohibits the wear of a curtain - a cover on the face of a woman. The traditional Turkish society immediately rejected the new law. Prison terms have rushed – useless, even a series of suicides have gone through the country as a sign of protest.
Ataturk, then, as a man of the military and having some experience of communicating with dishonest garrison girls, thought to the following - obliged all the prostitutes to also cover the faces with a parange.
The result exceeded all expectations – within a week the Turks broke up with black blankets.
Maybe, of course, this is a bicycle, but in any case, coming now to our all-Union Turkish sanatoriums, we feel in this country (unlike the neighbors) quite comfortable and comfortable.
by robertyumen

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №111052
 23.03.2015
“Imagine, Stirlitz, what a nightmare I’ve dreamed: it’s like 2015, the Chancellor in Germany is a lady in a red jacket, instead of the torch marches – gay parades, we’re paying money to the Jews and executing black Americans’ commands!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111051
 23.03.2015
Here you say, “Strach,” “Strach,” and I, by the way, go here to look for suitable books for reading!
Thanks to all. and :)

cats, cats and cats.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111050
 23.03.2015
Thermal protection is good.
But nothing gave an experienced administrator as much as a "tete" sitting on the terminal servo by a local user.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111049
 23.03.2015
A acquaintance told me.
The year was 2004. The man (the surgeon) comes to him, says, say, a new man bought, knocked, but the computer does not work. They begin to understand. Koresh sees, the proce is new, but the existing mother should not go. What for Hera? How did you get him here? Well, how, simply, there was an extra number of legs, hindered, so I bite them to the harams! And after all, he bite so that if you don’t know, you’ll guess they were there. Surgeon, fucking, just to squeeze something.
Thus, for almost 500 overseas money, he became the victim of a surgeon.

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