bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №15098
 12.03.2009
You don’t need to scream to be heard, you need to want to be heard.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №15097
 12.03.2009
Salad of Mimosa

Morning on March 9. Slowly and carefully, in one hand the head, in the other
liver, slide to the refrigerator, pour something into boiling tubes. The refrigerator
It is filled with the remains of yesterday’s feast. The path to beer
In the middle of the refrigerator is a whole untouched salad "Mimoza".

The poor mother! I look at the salad.

The story of the question is so.

One day, on March 8, a wonderful woman, Elena Ivanovna, gave birth to another child.
A wonderful woman who later became my wife. and here
For many years now, once a year, on the eve of March 8,
Elena Ivanovna arrives from her Tyumen on the birthday of her daughter. and
make this foolish salad that nobody needs and who
The neighboring homeless cats are eaten with gratitude. Nothing else
In my memory, she never cooked. Looking at this, it is created
the impression that the salad "Mimoza" in Tyumen is a national dish, and they are there
They only eat them.

There is another item in Elena Ivanovna, which along with the salad
“Mimoza” is an indispensable attribute of our annual March
The sitting. Maybe the doctors know his exact name, and I'll explain how.
I can. The middle-aged lady Elena Ivanovna has nothing yet.
A perfectly healthy body, designed for at least a hundred years
The full exploitation. But every time at a certain point,
After drinking, she begins to sing the same grim song about what before.
The next day my daughter will not live. Where she got that, I don’t know.
This is a point. She begins to say goodbye to everyone, everyone.
to forgive, make a will, and so on. Tears, swears and excuses. Same
It does not affect the mood of the guests.
The atmosphere of celebration. And nothing would be like that, accustomed, if few have anything,
Family affairs. But this is a boring self-song, like the salad “Mimoza”,
It happens regularly once a year for a couple of decades.
On the International Women’s Birthday of My Unseen. Yes is.

Agree, once a year can be tolerated, on one side.
But on the other hand, dear comrades, twenty years! and how much
still ahead? It is not so much the scenery itself as it is.
Her expectation and inevitability ruin the solemnity of the moment.

Okay well. What to complain? This is my cross, as the heroine said.
A famous film. Oh by the way. Something I won’t remember yesterday.
The traditional exhibition. Trying to strain the mind does not cause anything.
Except for Ikea. In the memory of yesterday's night there is a big black sky.
The Hole. The last thing I remember is my toast "For our health"
Dear Mother, Elena Ivanovna “Good means I gave it yesterday. Well maybe
It’s the best I don’t remember. A glass of beer illuminates yesterday’s day.
The past?

exactly! I get out of the refrigerator a batch with "Mimoza", to get to it.
And suddenly, with interest, I find it already very well-ventilated.
The surface of the salad has a clear fingerprint of the face. Do you imagine? Very clear and
Very high-quality human face blindness on yellow ventilated
Surface of salad. Apparently my face. Without any options. More of
Like no one’s face from yesterday’s presence should be there.
Yes, before the state of the mouth in the salad I have not yet been able to drink.
But someday we have to start. Let us treat everything philosophically.

Poor Yuri! - Hamletovsky undercovering the cowards and extending before
a plate with a salad and a blindness of his own mouth, a tragic voice
I say I.

What a lawyer? What is this about Yuri? A bad voice from the door.
The Wives.

... is it you? Yes, that’s me... Listen, I’m showing her a badge, I’m what,
I fell asleep in the salad yesterday, right?

The fool! His wife whispered tragically. This is my death mask.
The Mom! Do you remember anything?

I move my head negatively. And she restores a canva in my head.
events, intersecting the storytelling of illusory, but quite traditional
emails to my address.

It turns out, after I raised "for the health of dear Helena"
The second part of the compulsory program under
“Oh, I won’t live until the next birthday!”
the associated attribute. This is when everything is traditional.
I began to wander and persuade Elena Ivanovna to live a little longer.
quietly stood up, took a plate with no one's untouched salad "Mimoza", this
a work of art of the Tyumen cookers, quietly approached to the aunt and
With the words “Dear Elena Ivanovna, for a moment!” he gently mocked her.
Face in the salad. Then showed a great, by the way, result.
He was surprised and said, “Blind. for the monument. for every
The case.”

I'm glad I don't remember what happened afterwards. Thank God the plane.
Tess was at night. She flew safely, saving me for a whole year.
You need to go straight in the kitchen, with a salad in your hands, take and burn it.
of shame.

What did she say? I asked suspiciously.
A well-meaning wife

She was deceived first, of course. Everyone is deceived. Then he says, “No
You will wait! I will survive all of you!” Soon I sang, O Rabbi.
The Russian folk song "Oi Rabiina Kudrava"
The aunt usually finished her panigyric, after which everyone could
You know, you seem to have cured her.

Give it God! – with hope said I, finally reaching to the hardship c
Brew the beer and suck the contents with one garlic. Ohhhhhhhh! Another
March 8 ended safely.

The salad "Mimoza" I traditionally brought to the laundry for the joy of courtyard cats.
With a valuable profile. With the words:
Do not need us. Long live another 100 years, dear Elena Ivanovna.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №15096
 12.03.2009
The best friend of man is a dog.
Do not believe? Try this experiment:
Keep your dog and wife in the luggage compartment.
Open in an hour. Who do you think will be more pleased with?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №15095
 12.03.2009
We stand with a friend at the entrance and wait for his girlfriend. The younger sister of the girl (7 years old) comes out and we begin to talk with her... The conversation began about the pieces, well, we naturally do not understand this. On what she says: "We need to add two more to 13... It will be 15... Hm, so soon it will reach 20". We do not understand anything at all and ask what she is about... What she replied: "This is the number of fools I know!"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №15094
 12.03.2009
On the evening of March 7, I went to the store for the "gentleman set" :-)
In general, there would be nothing, only when I paid and went away from the cash, I heard behind the back the dialogues of the cashier (K) and a young man with a hugged voice (C):
Q:"How old are you?"
Q:"Twelve years ago!!" - already very confidently said the young man, and continued: "Student show?!!and "
Q:" No, I don’t have to. We drink from twenty-one."- all the same calmly said the cashier :-)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №15093
 12.03.2009
Pepper of the country!
The men conceived an autopilot: took two beaten cars, put them next to them, poured glasses of beating, etc., caused menta...
In court, the judge (c) asks the men (m1 and m2) whether they are familiar with:
Are you familiar with M1?
M1 – No
Are you familiar with M1?
M2 is no.
Why are you insured on each other’s insurance?

...the fuck knows how, but the insurance they still got

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №15092
 12.03.2009
<•Shadow•>: The hole is the most useful invention in human history.
<Xard>: What about the breasts?
<•Shadow•>: The hole allows you to pass through a concrete wall in a meter thick. And the breasts?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15091
 12.03.2009
We sit with a friend at home, I turn on the blues to pass the picture to him, I find a device named "Dental Fairy".
My father is a dentist.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15090
 12.03.2009
I am a puppy piece...
Today I take the subway to the Savelovsky station for a shorter period of time to go from there to the house by electric car..The day before I was with friends, there was no money, respectively...Only a little bit in my pocket, just a ticket. I go therefore to the street, and I get just out of my pocket this small thing in order to recount. I look, and right by the stairs a grandmother-child sit and looks at me. And then it comes to me that she thought that this little thing I got to her...
Walked home for two hours.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №15089
 12.03.2009
Alex: I am an acky dolboeb!
Fluffy: what is it?
Alex: I was offended by the girl because I excited her and didn’t fuck her (

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №15088
 11.03.2009
xxx: throw, I sit that week at a lecture... a guy is sitting in a row over me and sleeping... a girl comes in and starts rubbing... I instead of ‘what you are talking in a picture, he is sleeping’ declares: ‘what you are sleeping with him, he is talking with me’... After my phrase, the guy scratches his mouth and the phrase ‘what you are talking in a picture, he is sleeping’ sounds like ‘what you are sleeping with him, he is talking.’and "

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №15087
 11.03.2009
PIRAMID (01:12:24 9/03/2009)
I have already invented punishment for my children.

PIRAMID (01:12:38 9/03/2009)
Blame me, sit on Dial-Up))

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15086
 11.03.2009
Storm
Hearing, explain me what people call MacDack?))) I have an association with Mac Donalds.
Raidho
You won’t believe...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №15085
 11.03.2009
Nevertheless, I run away if, before an irreversible mysql transaction, I force the user to kill with his hands with the observance of the registry and punctuation text from the image: “Yes, I understand that deleting all the records from the database is irreversible, and that I cannot restore them later. Also, I pledge not to go with bad questions to the administrator of the portal".

Do not believe! No one has yet stumbled on "and how to restore deleted files?". This is how we would have licensing agreements - it would be reduced to essentially once in 10, and it would be forced to re-print :-D

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №15084
 11.03.2009
racoon_icq (18:54:25 9/03/2009)
and Nunun! How was it???? to
inkoly (18:55:29 9/03/2009)
It was the best night of this summer. It was the best sea on this planet... it was the moments of bliss... the full moon, the night, the falling stars, the infinite sky and I was floating naked in the mirror water... and here I saw it... I got up and wanted to get closer, but... I was naked on the stone!!! I broke my leg...
inkoly (18:55:33 9/03/2009)
and)))

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №15083
 11.03.2009
Q: Can I bring something from meals?
Do you have a lot of money?
No, not very much :(
Tagged: Copy Fucks
Buy the juice.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №15082
 11.03.2009
<xxx> passed by the kindergarten, I smashed the snow, what I didn't like it, and I knocked it off, and it turned out to be frozen (((
------------
Yesterday I passed by the kindergarten and saw a snowman, whom the children blinded, including. My son is breaking a minor idiot. Something he did not like me. I did not beat him, but he grabbed to the joy of the children two more snowmen to the restored first.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №15081
 11.03.2009
Do you want to call more and pay less? Call the worker.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №15080
 11.03.2009
Sberbank, mail and clinic are ADA branches on Earth

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №15079
 11.03.2009
8 March. and aska.

She is here!
He said, “Hello Saskia!”
He: How is it? How about mood?
She says, “Hello, and that’s all.
He said: Hi my most beautiful girl!
What is the number today?
He is eighth.
She: Well what?
It is not soon until receipt...
He is Pepper! Glad you reminded me! I forgot my mom’s 10th day (You can help me choose a gift?
She: Are you okay?
He: I ate yesterday on the corporation until the end I can't remember
She is Yes! For what reason a corporate?
He is Sasha! The Sunshine! A celebration for you! With flowers at your door on your knees!!!! to

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