bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149580
 08.03.2018
HH: And why did you take that I suffered? I am out with you, fools and fools, and nothing.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149579
 08.03.2018
What to do?

>>> where in the new series of Prostokvashino took the sister of Uncle Fedor, who is called Vera Pavlovna.

The creators of the cartoon in search of unexpected story moves reached Chernyshevsky, obviously.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №149578
 08.03.2018
Here they write about boys who like to paste labels of mercantile persons and data strawberries. My ex once told me he was spending too much on me because he was paying for me on the bus.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149577
 08.03.2018
There is a woman in the department and she is sick. A proposal to appoint
Call the neighbor!
Neighbors have one, and we have one. Congratulations to.
- Better order a prostitute and first greet her, well, give flowers there... and then, don't miss the good!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149576
 08.03.2018
Our lovely women! Congratulations on the vertical infinity!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149575
 08.03.2018
In comments to the film:

NothingGgg: Picaboo! Link to Russian Subtitles

I do not recommend listening to the original. It was the only time in my life that the sound just saved the movie.

NICKERGGGG: Let’s make fun of the sound. I am deaf.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149574
 08.03.2018
by Kanesh! Living with another male in the nest and sowing an adopted egg is the same hierarchical trick as raping another male to demonstrate alphabetism)))

And in general, the fact is that birds are not mammals, so the parental instinct in them is not called asymmetrically to the female (when breastfeeding, the daddy with all the desire will not be able to be the child as close as the mommy, but in many birds and fish males equally, or even more actively female children are engaged)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149573
 08.03.2018
>>>...Tools from tomatoes...

And where are the leaves of cucumbers, chrysanthemums from cabbage and carrots from carrots?
We need more variations!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149572
 08.03.2018
I want to work as a gardener where money is wasted.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №149571
 08.03.2018
"In our house settled a wonderful neighbor, whispered to my ear a neighbor. Not in the sense that they settled - they live for a long time, but in what they do. They are hackers. I even gave my father a certificate, he taught to hackers in the training center, and his son, a military, worked for the state.

Mentally, I laughed at a woman’s seasonal exacerbation and asked, “How did you know this?” - Yes, they say, the windows are open all the time and you can hear how and what they discuss, well, I checked all their contacts on the Internet.

I think, well things, I am an IB shnik and did not suspect such a neighborhood. He said goodbye, and at the same time it was itchy, barely arrived at work and began to check all the facts. And it is true: the father teaches information security on ATI courses, the son and the truth in the state structure is also engaged in security. Here in my head all the problems with the provider, the endless hanging of the provider's home equipment and other people's cables on the roof have folded into a single picture. Obviously at home, the Aichi family is “upgrading the qualification”.

Why hurt where you live? But military is a diagnosis, considering that both father and son studied at the same educational institution. So as soon as the unexplained problems with the provider network started, I started trolling. Should you be surprised that at some point on the microphone hanging out of the window, I heard a bustling discussion “he has a whole computer park there.” by Opanki. This is clearly about me. I doubt that someone else in the house has several simultaneously launched virtual machines running active networking activities on the computer. I need virtual machines for testing and it’s clear – it’s my job, but an IT specialist who is unable to understand that it can be virtual ones or even just a change of user agent?! to

More and more. Special software recorded attempts by the IB family to interfere in the network not only of the home provider, but also of individuals. If you are connected to one network device of the provider there are no problems not only to see your traffic, but also to control it, this will tell you even any schoolboy interested in computers. There is a huge number of special programs on the Internet, where it is enough to just press a button and choose a target with the mouse, without getting into the mechanisms of work and get the desired.

All my friends at work were devoted to the details of my home “adventures.” Periodically with laughter in the online mode we observed the next "colleagues". I will not hide: we have suffered greatly morally – our faith in military universities has disappeared and that at “Time X” the country will be safe, the degradation of the education system has become too obvious. There was a huge temptation to hand over the collected materials to the prosecutor’s office in order to free up jobs for smarter people.

The plan matures by itself.

Can I come to your house next week?
Yesterday was – my liver can’t stand so often, something happened?
Yesterday after drinking went to your bathroom on the site and when the clothes from his pocket was taken out, he knocked out the flash, and on it 20 bitcoins. I think the sack might get it.
and fucking. Loss of loss. I had to talk immediately. Okay, there’s my father now living in the flygel – I’ll warn him, we’ll go next week.
Approximately this conversation, I and a friend from work, took place in an unencrypted messenger from home and repeated repeatedly with clarification of place and time. There was no doubt that the Aichi family read this message.

In the meantime, Bitcoin has hit the 20,000 mark.

The next day at lunch, we sit with a friend in the dining room, having a quick conversation and wrapping up a wonderful naval borscht. A phone call from a friend. There is an exchange of replicas, then the theatre of the pantomima and a friend's borst begins to break out of the mouth, nose, tears in the eyes. After a few minutes apologizing and wiping out the towels, a friend tells.

Father called from the country: in the morning, an ascensor came and offered to pump out the variety for free, well, they have a free promotion for retirees. But you know my father. He said, on this street all retirees, my house is far from the forest. Start from that end. And what do you think - the fucking cleaners pumped all the sorties on the street and our sortier was the last...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №149570
 08.03.2018
US hackers decided to influence the results of the elections in Russia, but for now they simply can not register on the website of public services.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149569
 08.03.2018
The Post of Russia - on my request on their website, sent _1.09.2017_, yesterday - 6.03.2018 came the answer "Your appeal is accepted and will be considered within the time limits established by the legislation"I will tell the children, maybe the grandchildren will learn! and ;-)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149568
 08.03.2018
“VKontakte” explained the leakage of user data"... with the words "let us cheer"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №149567
 08.03.2018
XHH: I would say that the state office is a cleaning place for the Aitishnik) after them nothing is scary, but this is not a reason to get there)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149566
 08.03.2018
Discuss DTF blocking nick blya on PSN

Nikita Sergeevich: One way or another, I will not understand only one. Why make such stupid nics? Not even why not do it right away normal, but, is it really so awkward to run just here with such a "funny or funny" nick?

SLOA: Well, you write one nick - busy, the second - busy, the third - busy, and then this: BLYA! Hop is free.

Gollubov Yaroslav: For tomorrow, your nick is blocked. Nick is free again.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149565
 07.03.2018
Good if you are physically tired, then fresh food, a hot shower, massage, various types of gymnastics. If the brains are tired, temporarily change the direction of mental activity, a variety of hobbies and entertainment are good here. You are psychologically tired, new impressions are needed, cultural events and any change in the situation will help, such as tourism and even simple walks.
And constantly lying is not a rest, but a path to degradation, mental and physical. By the age of 40, with this attitude to yourself, you will have difficulty getting out of bed. It is hard to understand why it is needed at all.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149564
 07.03.2018
The difference between the sound of cheap and expensive piano
Even Beethoven would not have heard any difference.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149563
 07.03.2018
Discussion of the question - where in the new series of Prostokvashino took the sister of Uncle Fedor, who is called Vera Pavlovna. After all, it is known that Fedor's uncle's father's name is Dima.

KVArkSHA: It was in some series: "Uncle Fedor and I consulted and decided that we absolutely need to get a second child somewhere."

Get it, Carl It is :)

Fominikh: Well, in general, this statement is not in conflict with the physiological process.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149562
 07.03.2018
What kind of shit is feminism? In Russia, if a woman says she broke her arm, she is first asked whom, and then how to help.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149561
 07.03.2018
How did you open your eyes?
The Panzer-Aga All the flowers were eaten.
Evgeny?? to
Panzer-No flowers are expensive, trivial. They made eaters.
Beetle roses, tulips from tomatoes and sausage chamomile with saliva.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna