bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №95503
 18.03.2014
For 24 hours there was an independent Republic of Crimea. For the first time in its history. Per this is a record for the short duration of the existence of an independent state.
Yyy: And they could have time to attack the United States and surrender, idiots.
Zzzz: They just forgot this joke.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95502
 18.03.2014
It is hard to work with idiots.
Send a payment in.html format
The answer comes, if the file is not read, send it in another format.
I just send a scan and in the letter I write that strange, should be opened by any browser without any problems.
Answer: our company is engaged in packaging and design programs, such as "browser", we do not have the computer installed.
>_<

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95501
 18.03.2014
Motion sensors in the toilet:

xxx: The motion sensor does not run because the person is sitting there in a stationary state :)
YYY: As a world-renowned expert on this issue, I can see that if a person has come into a stationary state, it’s time to worry.
zzz: And if a person is constantly moving, then they are probably two ;)
zzz: You can put the sensor in the toilet itself, if the light suddenly disappears, then the toilet is busy.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №95500
 18.03.2014
Nikito (12:02) if in utorrent you open the window "about the program" and then press T then the tetris will start

MOEF (12:04) can not be

MOEF (14:09) FUCK! Why? Why did you say this?! to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №95499
 18.03.2014
My mother loves tomato juice and often adds flaxseeds. Once again in the kitchen I observe the preparation of a wonderful drink and I hear my mother, with the voice of the evil master, condemning: “Blood with bones... haha.” Man comes to work. The child psychologist.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95498
 18.03.2014
VALUNN: Two boys in the family do not realize the need to lift the toilet seat and write carefully. He showed footage from the film "The Hunter of Dreams", where a dented gliding worm alien, from the toilet, got into the ass of the man and crushed him. He said that these microbes grew out of the fact that some people write wrong, and can bite a barrel. Now they are afraid to get in the push..... :)))))))))))), first look, check there everything, carefully hide and run away :)))) sweat...:))))))))

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95497
 18.03.2014
... well, and to the next Olympics, you look, and we push out Alaska...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №95496
 18.03.2014
"France threatens to cancel the deal with Russia on the ‘Mistrals’"
Shoigu will be joyful if he can legally get rid of them.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95495
 18.03.2014
>>>I ask you, as soon as the snow begins to melt NEVER in one city you can not cross a single road without forcing a railroad...

Dear compatriot, I am suffering from the universal problem! But all the urban planners seem to have a magic word out of their brains "drenage". Instead of digging the pipe (here and then laughing) the pipe from the pile to the nearest pile, they roll the pile with a bunch of pile, as a result of which it moves to the nearest low. And so they chase this unfortunate hole all over the neighborhood. And the roads? Instead of making them spongy in the middle, they make them like a cork. I was at the reception with the city architect, I said: "Our town is easy to dry, you don't need millions of rubles, just give a brigade of workers with thorns and scissors." The architect mumbled about the tender, the municipal order... so we whisper

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №95494
 18.03.2014
He came in. Geodetic department) said the type you need to come to the 1 house, to be present, there is the prosecutor's office, intergovernmental officials, a bunch of all kinds of other instances... and the essence of what there is the house sold to one person and the site on which the house is, another))))))
Issue of Rasha Babe

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95493
 18.03.2014
Grandma is burning. I went with her to a women’s consultation, where she met a friend.
Grandma: What are you doing here?
The acquaintance caught with humor and replies: Yes, you infected me, I go to the doctors now.
My also isn’t fisted with the finger, fisting: and I didn’t need to sleep with me)))
The girls in line forgot all their problems) By the word, my old lady 87. Young acquaintance is 70 years old.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №95492
 18.03.2014
C 4pda from the Google Play hack discussion:

Targit: there was time, it was possible to drop the iphone with one sms, in which there was only one phrase - سمََّوُُ׫خ ررžخ ̷̴خ ̷̴̐خ خ›اررتخ ̷̴̐خ

Cherepets: I’ve heard that people and skyscrapers were crawling with such a phrase, not the iPhone.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №95491
 18.03.2014
On December 20, 2010, the UN General Assembly adopted a resolution proposed by Russia, which calls on member countries to fight against the glorification of fascism. The United States is the only major power to vote against the resolution, which was supported and adopted by 129 countries.

It shouldn’t be surprising that they are now supporting the banderols.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95490
 18.03.2014
I love to compose poetry,
I did not learn to pick the rhythm.
Who needs it in the comments?
to the program.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №95489
 18.03.2014
to this
What a disgrace indeed. It is time to get full accounting with the avatars.

A dating site! XDD

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №95488
 18.03.2014
............
He shrugged, he shrugged!
What do you know about cowardice?! to
WOW: Two years ago, a girl argued with me, and at the time of the dispute, in case of her loss, I demanded a quote: "I will deal with the anal." I still remember my dumb "guyyyazy" at that moment. I will not argue, the intestine is thin.
“Well, you know, it’s not cowardice, in case of some dispute there, the girl doesn’t give you her chocolate.”
WOW: That’s the point that when her "chocolate" was already right in front of me, I shook (((
See also :DDD

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №95487
 18.03.2014
My husband looks solid, with a bubble and glasses. and the nights)
I sit in the evening with my daughter (4 years old) playing, my husband - behind the comp.
My daughter is whispering to me - maam, and that Daddy is all playing and playing, the puzzles have grown up, right?
I'm not so good about my dad.)
She plays and plays, she’s fat.
Are you talking about me there? I hear everything!
My daughter is nothing, daddy. My mom and I talk about how much we love you!! to
I – O – O

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95486
 18.03.2014
DerArto: When the Americans are dumb, somewhere in the world there is a Zadorn.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №95485
 18.03.2014
Luncis: Cornelia, you can say that prostate massage is a latent gay. Sexual orientation is not determined by the method of exposure, but by the gender of the exciting object, if any.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №95484
 18.03.2014
XXX(21:39): I need a fun and clever phrase (citation) on the wall to the lecturer

XXX(21:39): directed by

YYY(21:39): try again

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna