Q: Is it true that every Jigita must have a three-day brush to clean his boots?
WOW: Nihua, they can’t shave smoothly because they shave through the scissors. They are afraid to cut off their throat. Hands are guilty.

The Tesla electric car:

What if Tesla entered Tesla?
I went to Tesla in Tesla, I saw Tesla in Tesla...

For future mothers:

xxx: Hi everyone, I don't know why but I am worried that I am giving birth before 38 weeks, to some fear of childbirth, please tell me how with this beard
Yyy: You would take your time and thoughts to do something more useful than thinking about premature birth. The grammar of the Russian language, for example.
Zzzz: So that’s not how to roast, right? I can't think about the problem of the topic, only about this beard now and they also say: we are egregious, we are angry, we don't help... everything, I'm in the car, left... beard

to this
Schwarzenegger was included in the list of enemies of Crimea. It is the Crimean 😉

Chuck Norris, a friend of Crimea

“Len, can I get your money in lease?”
Come on!

Question to the wise advocate of obscure gynecologists: How many births could have been provided that there were births and there was only one pregnancy?? to

It is not a fact that the pregnancy was really single.
The next question is: Are there abortions? The disappearance? The outsiders? And only then is the conclusion made about the actual number of pregnancies - times, and about the intellectual safety of the patient - two.

xxx: It turns out when the light is cut out at home - it is not a JEK wave and no wires are cut off. The Earth Hour.

Why do I love NOD32? I bought a F.E.A.R. disc. 2 (Pirate, I repent), set up and went to drink tea. When he returned, the installation was completed, but the game did not start, citing the lack of the desired file. Repeated several times, the same problem. Changed the disc in the store - and again trouble. Disappointed, I threw the disc into the closet. Only because of this I did not fail the upcoming test. And as it turned out, NOD32 removed the crack from the game every time, and as I left, the message about it had already disappeared. So, I can say, he saved my life. And you say "crazy"...

Listener (C): Question to Armenian Radio: How to return Crimea to Ukraine?
Armenian Radio (A): There are two options: realistic and fantastic. Which to start?
C is fantastic!
A: NATO, at the request of Ukraine, begins the operation in Crimea "Storm in the Glass".
Q: So how realistic is it?
All other regions of Ukraine are joining Crimea

x: I repaired the graphic tablet, so I will not finish art in the future, don't wait.
A: What about him? I am in the plans of Nub Nub.
X: the response of the working surface.
A: Is it how?
x: for example, the smuugle tool works with a delay and not in that area.
A: I did not understand anyway.
x: Well, how would you explain... Well, see: for example, you are typing a SMS on your smartphone "translation", so little that you have the typed characters on the screen displayed in 3-4 seconds, and yet your device changes you "translation" to something like "drive".
I have an iPhone, I’m used to it 😉

to this
Initials of the teacher V.V. Right, as everyone immediately unambiguously guessed, - Valery Valentinovich)))
--------
But here you have another rebus... we have at our department Professor Beher V.V. Well, how, hardly immediately understand who it is and how to decrypt? She? she? Students, "especially active in the semester", hit :) This is a girl and her name is Veronica Visaryonovna :)

The Decider:

What is common between barley and milk (that barley drinks milk is not the correct answer).
– – – – –
Eggs and milk can collapse.

And how can six-year-old urban children who grew up on asphalt and with sterilized milk in refrigerators know this?

The child (10 years old):
What kind of actor does Chuck Norris play?

When the heart is heavy and cold in the chest,
Take the foil and turn the hat out of it.

In bed with a girl. The matter goes to the underwear, I look at the trousers, I think about the ban on circular cowards, and I tell her about it. What does the girl answer: "What, to film?) )" and
Peace, love and cats!

Q: Does the forum rules apply to Moderators
M: Spread
A: Honorary Moderator
M: of course
A: The administration of the forum
M: And they too.
Q: What about the owner?
M: No
P: I knew that.

YYY: here he bought the Mustang for 1.3 lams. He is not given anyway.
Better to buy a prostitute
YYY: For 1.3 lams? I was fucking.
XXX is cheaper
XXX: The Submission
yyy: This is usually called "relationship".

I don’t know why we’re on this planet, but I think we’re not here for that.

She quarreled with her husband, psychic, went out of the room to the kitchen, sat there on the table. So he came there, took me on his arms, as in his time at the wedding, brought back to the room, put on the bed. Well I think...
He sat down at the computer again, saying gently:
Get angry here to see you!

Yulia Tymoshenko said that she intends to return Crimea, which Putin replied – Crimea you have already returned to us, now return the Southeast...