bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №14918
 04.03.2009
sergeyxv: Every day on a pair we write a test.The situation is very tense, everyone decides. Prep at this time fills up some reports, reports. Well, and loudly so asks us "What number today?". Well, he from the first batch someone broke that the third did not break from the test. And here from the last row of Max with the scream "Fuck the door! I have a train today.!" runs out of the audience... all in the shower...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №14917
 04.03.2009
Bishop (21:53:55 1/03/2009)
Are you a blind bisexual?

Bishop (21:54:05 1/03/2009)
He does not care with whom!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №14916
 04.03.2009
m0rgan: We stood somehow with a friend in a traffic jams, on the opposite side of the road stood an evacuator and excavator. With a joint effort in 10 minutes, a quick speech was invented (more careful - do not shrink the tongue :))
In Ecuador, the evacuator evacuated the excavator, evacuated-evacuated, but did not evacuate. The excavator needs to be evacuated, and the pre-evacuation"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №14915
 04.03.2009
To me alone, people adding at the end of the quotes odmin, huyasse, cat, shredder o_0 seem idiots?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14914
 04.03.2009
berserker (14:55:02 2/03/2009)
I hid your cognac.

berserker (14:55:25 2/03/2009)
Like that cottage.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14913
 04.03.2009
I have a sister. To her one time a guy went one "set the wheel"... 3 times a week. It is clear what they did there. I brought a clean window on the disk. And then another guy came and brought the gent, saying that she was better than the wire. Well, I stumbled, thinking that he didn’t come for that at all. Within 3 hours I am satisfied:
So, did I put the genuine?
He is that type.
Did I set up?
He is, and how.
Will I show you?
He is easy!
I go into the room and see my sister sitting dressed. In bed and evil. The guy really put everything and set up... the sister said that he came and sat down to put the OS... and leaving said that she is now his debtor...
O_O

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14912
 04.03.2009
Trik: I saw the women’s magazine “Hudeem” today.
Trick: A slim girl on the cover closes the letter "D" with her tail. =) is

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №14911
 04.03.2009
How to treat gastritis?
The kefir!
Before the meal or after?
Instead of!
What if food is not avoided?

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №14910
 04.03.2009
Elves your mother, what you do, you are good.
We are not good, we are bright.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №14909
 04.03.2009
Instructions for using a mouse shot purchased in Canada.
The mouse is a tube of dense triangular cardboard.
section, length ~ 10 cm, one of its inner sides is covered with a special
by Kleem. Inside the pipe is a hook and the mouse is placed somewhere in the
The corner. If the mouse gets there, it can no longer remove the legs from the glue.
The force is lacking. And now the excerpt from the instructions: "...After
The mouse has hit the mouse, take the mouse and take it along with the mouse.
3 miles from human housing. Carefully remove the animal's legs.
Paint the surface and release the mouse..."

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14908
 04.03.2009
Today is a forgiven Sunday! Forgive me for everything!
NN: You haven’t done it yet!
No matter, I’m sorry I didn’t have time.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №14907
 04.03.2009
I drove today in the bus... Harmoshka is full, but in the center – on the rotating platform there are only two – I and a buoy man... And he is so buoy that he can’t catch up for the charge, he is covered by him. First with the head, then with the shoulders.

So here is what is the essence, the controller, a young man, with a roll on his chest, to him... She: "Your ticket!"... Well, I think - now it will start to cuddle, not to be sad, prepared and the people, at this moment watched for the man and controller.
And He, not thinking for long, takes and tears her out of the roll of the box, ticks her in the nose with a scream of "WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"
The bus jumped from the hood.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14906
 04.03.2009
In my opinion, during the mining, a woman looks stupid and unattractive. If you want to make sure, then take a banana or carrots in your mouth and approach the mirror. So how? Do you like yourself?
I would like to ask, then, what does a man look like during the cunnilingus? What do you need to put in your mouth to see it in the mirror?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №14905
 04.03.2009
Usually a good drunkard begins with the harmless phrase: “Well, I’m just looking at the ATM and there’s the grandmothers.”

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14904
 04.03.2009
49848 (saved 2009-03-01 at 13:50)
I fucking fuck you, people! The garbage to the urn brought - the feat accomplished! You have to be the norm of behavior, and you fuck the order for it. Calls "and let us one day throw the garbage into the urn and the girls hold the door in the subway"me are killing in general. Are you shit at all?
365 days a year to behave like this.
A man without a cigarette.
and...
No, not very weak. And I have a counter-suggestion: let’s spend a day without a mate?
A man without a hoax.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14903
 04.03.2009
xxx is. I realized that in Moscow there were really problems with ecology when I saw a bunch of vortices on my own balcony. Funny so, in the spring, they ate the cold corpse of their fellow man.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №14902
 04.03.2009
The wolf is the sanitary of the forest, the crisis is the sanitary of life.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №14901
 04.03.2009
http://skds.livejournal.com/4773.html

Crisis, like destruction, is more in the head than in reality. Fully
At the beginning of January, the phone calls in our project organization changed.
A wave of strange calls. Leaders, as always
of cooperation”:

We are a manufacturer of heat insulation. I would like to spend
We offer a free presentation of our products.
Decision on the feasibility of the presentation will be made.
Based on the information that we hope you will send to us.
E-mail: I answer with a written sentence.
Purposes of what? Confusion at the end of the wire.
Probably due to a too long wording.
and organizations.
Their own?
No to yours. You are an initiator?
The initiator of what?
and organizations.
of whom?
of yours!
.........

Hi to you. Who can I consult?
For what problem?
We have a five-story building from 1975. We want a basement.
In the sense of repairing?
No to dig. There is no basement. and needed. If we dig it,
Will the building fall?
It will fall.
How do you know?
I don’t know, just like any cautious designer, I guess.
The most unfavorable scenario.
Oh, and you do not have, by chance, less cautious designers.
No more, I joke, I fell asleep on one object.
It is a pity that we need a qualified consultation.
.........

Hi to you. Are you designing buildings?
All in all, yes.
The whole?
Not without that.
Can you buy a typical building project?
Which one?! to
Thousand for five square meters.
What is the building for? Housing, production, on which site,
Under what technical conditions?
And you are who?
The architect.
You always complicate things. Is there any manager?
The sales department?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №14900
 04.03.2009
Long-haul drivers deliver cargo a day earlier.
by anekdoton.ru

[ + 69 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14899
 04.03.2009
Those who have gone through the war, for example, suspect that the basis of the set of products of the Orlov consumer basket, the deputies took the norms... of the 1941 camp paying of German prisoners of war, calculated in the Narcomate of Internal Affairs under Beria’s leadership. For the sake of clarity, the newspaper provides the following data.

One German prisoner of war per month in 1941. Minimum rate for a resident of the Orlovsk region per month in 2005:

bread products - 21.6 kg / 12.6 kg;
meat and fish - 4.8 kg / 3.8 kg;
Potatoes and vegetables - 18 kg / 17.9 kg;
salt, tea, spices - 0.83 kg / 0.40 kg

The norms of nutrition of the German prisoners of war the newspaper provides in accordance with the telegrams of the General Staff, as well as the orientation of the UPVI of the NKVD of the USSR. Rules of nutrition of Orlov pensioners - according to the law "On the consumer basket in the Orlovsk region".

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