bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №149440
 02.03.2018
Trump decided to hand out guns to teachers.
The librarians will be given guns with silencers.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149439
 02.03.2018
She: I have a brilliant idea and while you are full and happy, I want to share it.
He is: No. I want to continue to be happy.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149438
 02.03.2018
Here it all depends on what specific female specialist is meant. For example:
1) Secretary Maria Igorovna, she is forty-three years old, she translates into four languages, makes a schedule for the head and is in detail about what the organization is doing.
2) The Secretary of State. She’s nineteen, she’s a student-dinner, she’s working with us, she’s answering phone calls, and she’s watching that the cookies don’t end in the office. Bring us a cup of coffee.
3) And this is the Secretary of Mania. Manny has a beautiful ass and she fucking the boss in the lunch break. Nothing more is needed, so the rest of the time misses and paints the nails.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149437
 02.03.2018
I work on cable TV. At the beginning of March, the antenna is seasonally lit - the channels disappear for a few minutes. And behind the window -20 and an unleashed butterfly.
The engineer comes: "The language did not turn to tell the subscriber that the channel did not work because of solar interference."

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №149436
 01.03.2018
Finally snow on the Urals. For the city council of our city – as always, suddenly. There are no snow-gathering machines, utilities workers fill the roads with some kind of chemistry, as a result of which between the wheels of the car and the sprayers - a whole bunch of dirty snow, the same nonsense grows the boards. I bought myself a scraper specifically (in order not to find a monolithic wheel-ice-sprayer in the morning), and at the same time I cleaned the sides of my matrix. I feel like the owner of a pony.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149435
 01.03.2018
xxx: I recently dreamed that I am reading Wikipedia, and there is incorrect information about the inclination of the orbit of Halley's comet to the plane of the ecliptic, I try to control the article - and it does not work. A nightmare dream.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149434
 01.03.2018
The fatter the jeep of the mayor, the more winter injury in his citizens!! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149433
 01.03.2018
There are things that are just created to give them to people you hate. For example, Sberbank’s badly written pen.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №149432
 01.03.2018
I received a wonderful letter from the tax office. In short, you see, they don’t know where I live. They have problems with my taxation. They sent me this letter home.
and then. On the basis of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation, all information about the registration of a taxpayer at the place of residence comes from the registration bodies (FMS Administration) in electronic form. In this regard, in the following paragraph, I am invited to personally come to the inspection and provide all this information. Schizophrenia is something.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149431
 01.03.2018
As small...

Why not send priests first to Mars?

They will find and sanctify the water.
......
Because the true believer, when he tries to take off, will crash into the heavens.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149430
 01.03.2018
All these drugs would be legalized. Nevertheless, everything is eaten, just some - the dosages are more accurate, and the drugs are newer, not registered in the blacklist, and others are tried in the old way.
And if anyone is not interested in watching the battles of cyborgs, then spy stories with excrete exchanges entertain them?
I have to come up with a new show!
Which embassy will import the most drugs to the country?
More warm! © by

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149429
 01.03.2018
I wake up regularly just because I’m asleep. At 5:37, at 5:32, at 5:39. Regularly before the alarm ringing at 5:40.
...
That’s why you’re all normal and hated! He stood up and went to grumble, grumble, knock, knock on the door...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149428
 01.03.2018
Ohhhhhhhh
Go out at the intersection of the streets of Adequates and Non-Adequates, turn 90 degrees and go straight.

Oh wow.
In the sky.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149427
 01.03.2018
I cannot be so stupid.
You just underestimate yourself.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149426
 01.03.2018
And the Dark Lord turned his eyes to the lands of the west - and the rivers froze, and the fields bleached, and the crocodiles froze in the ice, and the ice-cold iguanas were poured out of the trees.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149425
 01.03.2018
Button "I want more!" does it mean even more different quotes?
And the feeling that this is a reduction from "I want again the same, only in mix"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149424
 01.03.2018
I wanted to write that I hate the cold and the melting... but then I sweat. Then the heat. Then sweat again.
I hate the weather at all.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149423
 01.03.2018
> they laugh at you, the whole world.

It should be said: "Sharovers".

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №149422
 01.03.2018
“Well, I’ve burned all my ears like she loves diamonds, how cool and beautiful they are and in general. And I took it the next day and bought an Offigen diamond crown on a cup. The king packed, the batch grabbed and gave her in the evening.
She opened and froze with her mouth open. Then he grabbed the drill and ran to the bathroom.
She pierced a huge hole right in the middle of the mirror, then, passing past me back in full space, stated that I was a horse and could not distinguish diamonds from wolfram carbide. She gave a crown with a drill, and went to cry.
I look inside the crown, and the ring with the stone is not that I glued it inside! Fuck, I think, while she was there drilling the drill, it probably went into the shell. I turned the bath. I broke the syphon. It all broke out. I sit and marry quietly. I hear chickens, infection, behind the back. I look around - looks, beast, with a clever eye and a ring shines on the finger.
Doolingo I look at her.

Well, I don’t think she can distinguish fianite from diamond.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149421
 01.03.2018
xxx: A barbecue is a great way to lose all the documents together.

Yyy: I’ve heard it’s called a heart attack.

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