bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №125351
 11.03.2016
A crazy CD-ROM again.
And the cooler cools the former wound.
Why did you get into Linux?
Is it not in your pocket?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125350
 11.03.2016
I wonder, in the tattoo salons demand so much exceeds the supply that the masters are scattered by work?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125349
 11.03.2016
In my life there are a lot of ups and downs.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №125348
 11.03.2016
Did you go to a potato shop?

and yes. Is it all ruined?

No, she’s all cabbage. Go further.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125347
 11.03.2016
dreamed
Tagged with "bird" It infects computers, but its host programs are on the drum, it only feeds on worms. It collects pieces of code from them for self-improvement, to better and more efficiently penetrate through any protection, clears everything and moves on, leaving behind a completely healthy computer.

Have they not invented it yet?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125346
 11.03.2016
Freud: Tax deflation

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №125345
 11.03.2016
In general, the ass loves a soft bed, a warm bath, gentle soap, expensive underwear, rather than adventure. But who asks her...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №125344
 11.03.2016
Do you have problems with alcohol?
and yes.
Do you want to talk about it?
What to say. You need to run to the store, already 21 30, and there is no bubble in the stock.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125343
 11.03.2016
In the main, they are not those who have no brains, but those who know the difference between the salary of an engineer and a carpenter. And also those for whom it is more important to feed the family, rather than scratching their pride and the sense of self-dignity. And also those who like "physical work" more than "mental work", because the result is right before you, and the stress is less. And I write in quotes, because the separation is absolutely conditional and only the paphos debils think that the tokaru does not need to think (and does not know), and in the office only the papers are translated.
P.S Those who can’t do anything more, the “three-leggers,” also, sometimes, go to the tiles. Or, sometimes, to the ped, because you do not know how to do - go teach others. There are no bad professions, there are bad professionals.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125342
 11.03.2016
Is the elite lombard for the elite poor?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125341
 11.03.2016
Is this an abbreviation of the word nahuy?
and no. This is New York...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №125340
 11.03.2016
I woke up later than usual and was in a hurry. On the back of the chair, where I have laid off my clean clothes since the evening, there is nothing, everything on the floor, and on it, swallowing, spotted with dirty legs and roasted with red wool, lies an unknown thin cat.
The question:"Who are you, monster?"
I replied with a roasted meal.
Husband, flegmatically mixing tea:"And what, you like to sleep with the windows open, love those who come through them into your life...")

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125339
 11.03.2016
This is an interesting case. You come to the tattooist, you want a butterfly on your ass. And he’s like "No-No, I’m an artist, go to the craftsman!". You go to the salon cheaper, but there are no craftsmen either. And they are not at all, all the artists, even Vasya, who made the machine of string yesterday and today is already collet.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №125338
 11.03.2016
I work as an insurance agent in a car salon for a little more than six months, before me, a girl worked in this place for several years. Consequently, those who come to reinsure, remember it.
A client comes and asks:
"To whom should I apply for insurance?"
- "To me."
- "And here the girl was sitting before."
- "I have changed sex."
- "O_O"
It turns away. The curtain.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125337
 11.03.2016
One case, when the master polently reports that for the next six months he has everything scheduled, another case, when he immediately sends to look for a craftsman, hearing that you need to update the existing tattoo. Especially if the conversation is over the phone. He didn’t even know what kind of daddy it was. You automatically think that this glamorous kissa wants to upgrade her butterfly to pop or puppy to her panther. And what about the first at least look, maybe there Suvorov's crossing through the Alps on the whole back Master depicted? Who then took, and moved from Moscow to Australia, or just died, so personally can not update? The owner of such a tattoo will still be right, considering that "the craftsman" will most likely not have enough skill. Therefore, before refusing, respected masters, at least look at what. And don’t talk about patterns and hieroglyphs.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №125336
 11.03.2016
Yes, you will think, in a long phrase one or two mistakes made, little thing! And I forgot to put the pad in the engine - it's also a bit, there are a few dozen of those pads, right?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125335
 11.03.2016
xxx: The creators of the film "The Matrix" the Wachowski brothers became sisters. Andy Changed Sex Following Larry
XXX: The Gospel
It’s not the pills they chose.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125334
 11.03.2016
From Picaboo:

At the entrance of the brother, two touched neighbors live in different apartments. Bag of terrorism? Spies in the basement? Stealing the air? Why not. They even worship alternately - one at night and the other during the day. He even gave them the corresponding calls – Moon and Celestia.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №125333
 11.03.2016
A girlfriend accidentally burned, pouring tea rarely to her former lover:

P (looking at the seal on his finger): Oh, you had a ring like a black stone... (thinkingly) Or don’t you?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125332
 11.03.2016
"This is where the discourse ends. But I look forward to the development.Vanguy, in a couple of phrases will start the fight."

Talk to Blizzard! Believe me, from the fact that you use "discussions" in the meaning of "discussions", you don’t seem smarter. And look like who you are: pseudo-intellectual schoolchildren who have heard somewhere a "smart" word and glue it into a topic and not a topic (the second is more often).

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna