I am afraid of the sellers. I decided in my favorite shop to stick, I thought, they won’t understand, but here’s the fuck:

- I have to drink twice and smoke once, then, pasta 900g, vitamin, and pressed beef for delivery.
(2 baked beers, a pack of cigarettes, half a kilogram of vermicella, one mandarin and 4 bouillon cubes)
You won’t believe: they gave everything they wanted at once... The girls-sellers from Zelenograd, who work in the “tile” in the 12th microry and next to that, if you read this, then know, I LOVE YOU! They are telepatic.)

Sasha Gray has announced her resignation from the porn business. "It was a joke", the girl commented on her decision.

Sex on the top floor.
Almost the lust is shaking.
Sleeping is hunting. I get up and knock.
Sex is done on two floors above.
It only remains to envy the white and sympathize with the neighbors from above.

When are you thinking of coming home?
Blin: Always

XXX: I witnessed a conversation in the buffet
Do you have 5 rubles?
People with blue blood don’t wear anything.
1 – What is it?
Pediatrics don’t wear little stuff!

xxx: Today I go to the hospital, I ask the security guard where there is a paid department. He laughs, he says, here is a morg :D

A group on the verge of departure. They decided to bring him to the upcoming transfer. In secret from him, the operation was named "Save the Soldier Andrew".

The size of the leg?
I will give 5 cockroaches at a time.
XXX is 35? A small female foot.
YYY: I said in different rooms?

She: Did you like it?
See also: AGA
You finally became a man.
He said, keep silent woman.

No, is this normal at all? In the center of Moscow, in order for our employees to get to the toilet, you need to go out on the street, get to the corner of the building, enter the same building from the other side, and climb to the second floor... and it seemed like happiness! You are at the destination... and the door is locked at the key! and here you need to climb to the third floor in the administration, ask them for a key from the seed of the amber room, referring to the fact that, of course, not very much would like, but the body requires an exit. And once the matter is done, you have to return and give the key, in order to avoid getting foreign Tajik bodies into this abode of tranquility and relief! is normal?

One comrade said:
"I went to visit a friend. We sit down and drink tea with cookies in the form of figures. I see her younger brother-in-law, the botan is eye-catching, every cookie goes through the look and somehow strangely looks at me. I mean, the cookies are bad. No, he replies, I’m just surprised – you consistently ate all the numbers from "pi" up to the sixteenth sign after the fifth..."

I lie in bed with a girl. She grabbed my member with my hand.
The girl:
How long I have not seen you!
I am :
and two days.
The girl:
I am not talking to you!

XXX:I recently learned that, it turns out, the first thing my father did when he returned from the army - me! on the first day literally. Maybe I’m like that... right?
HYYY: HYYYY in the meaning? Maybe...
XXX: patient in the sense)) two years waited for his hour

Mail fires: "Client Sberbank gave birth to a child right at the box"
I’t be surprised if she was pregnant.)

YYY (0:41) : I recovered by one and a half kilograms

YYY (0:41) : after 2 weeks

XXX (0:41) : have you swallowed one of the nets?)))))))))))

Life is not a movie, there will be no remake.

Salad - Combridge
In our squadron served a "salabone" by the name of Polykarpov, our grandparents were terribly envious of him and referred only to "you", but at the same time treated him with great sympathy, and everyone was happy to help the guy to master himself in the new army environment for him. He had to explain elementary things, at first he didn’t even understand the difference between salads and grandparents... Well, a man is far from all this, what will you take from him? Two more years ahead, we will be able to...
Polykarpov himself was a small, ridiculous eye-catcher, spinning with a solder in his workshop all day long. The only thing that rescuingly distinguished him from the rest of the salads was the title: Polykarpov was a lieutenant-two-year-old.
Of course, we frequently kissed him in a friendly way, not without that.
They once advised:
- Comrade Lieutenant, our Colonel, recently debilitated the Adjunct,
He is also a 2-year-old leiteha and is now a combridge without an adjuvant. Ask to
to him, there lafa, ride yourself on the commander's car and no fuck
Do it...

When a combridge came to us in the workshops, everyone ran away to watch this scene and Polykarpov was like this:
Comrade Colonel, let me report: I want to be yours.
The adjuvant. I just dream...
Combridge was a foolish man who understood where the wind was blowing from. He squeezed around us with a fierce look and replied:
I’m not a general yet, I’m just dreaming. To our common regret,
Colonel does not have an adjunct, but if I suddenly become a general, your
The candidate, I will consider first.

Another time we found out to the lieutenant that the combridge’s son was a naval officer.
(which is true...) and the old man loves to listen to songs under the guitar, especially about the sea (in fact - the very type of guitar, his wildly raced...) The lieutenant broke the instrument, rehearsed from the very morning and when the combridge, bypassing the part, looked at us, we were on the "shuher", whispered to Polykarpov, that it was time for him to sit in the smoker, sang:
Sea-sea, the world is bottomless.
The colonel went in, pretended to be necessary, walked around the territory, gave a couple of valuable instructions and finally stopped near the lieutenant. Standing up, listening to the foot, even with a singing a little helped, and as soon as the last chord sounded, carefully took the guitar and silently without emotions half it about the iron mushroom.
The lieutenant was not offended by us, the officer was offended by the soldiers, it was the last thing... But we respected him for his desperate impudence and courage in the face of the chief. Not everyone is given it, and after one occasion everyone began to call him "Combridge".
On the day of the Soviet Army, a parade was held in a part, but Lieutenant Polykarpov was mentally no longer in service, but on vacation, yesterday he "passed" the officers for leaving and today immediately after the parade, he must run to the station. Mood is great.
Combridge spoke something brave-reconstructing, suddenly seeing the smiling face of our lieutenant, stopped his report and cried out: Comrade Lieutenant, and you are apparently not interested in what I am talking about?! You have something funny there! Tell us, we will laugh! You are silent, you just laughed!! Per you think that the brigade command - once spit and I am here before all the fools!!? Well, try to command yourself, and I will laugh at the side! Why are you silent like a red lady? Lieutenant Polykarpov!! to
and I!
Get out in the middle of the square and take command of the brigade!
There is!
The lieutenant walked out, looked at five hundred people and said:
A part! be equal! and calmly!! Listen to my team: I’m going today
short-term leave to the homeland and leave the colonel older than myself
of Ershova! Goodbye to comrades!

And some of them said, “Thank you! Television by Rick! The N-A-T! »
Polykarpov turned and, without turning, went to his workshop for the suitcase.
To the honour of the Colonel, it must be said that he was a generous man and the only consequence of the lieutenant's actions was the loud whistle of the combridge on the whole part.

According to sociologists, as a result of the Russian anti-corruption campaign, the population of London may increase in times.

<of J> Olya, never, you hear, NEVER! Do not drink coffee in the morning. You will not fall asleep until lunch :)

Sweaters, sweaters and beards

We at the DJ club connected a notepad to the reinforcement and columns of 2.5 kW each. They play a shooter. Gualt is such that the Battle of Kursk smokes on the sidelines. And these two fools are discussing how to get the equalizer out so that Kalash sounds more realistic.

by g.