xxx: Prickin... made an agronomic page of image advertising in a magazine.
xxxx: sends makeup, calls, praises...
xxx: they said that with such a creative approach I could be a good agronom...
XXX: I am confused

Do you want a banana?
Is it a hint?
This is a banana.

Dear, do you love me?
Of course, and you me?
What do I do here three days and two nights?! to
Are you fucking me?
This is a side effect :)

A girl in the circus is watching the lions. He joyfully addresses his mother: “Have you noticed that all the lions are boys?”! to
The mother, stunned by her daughter’s biological knowledge, asks, “Why did you get this?”
You give it, Mom! Have you forgotten that lions don’t wear grills?! to

from the support of MGT.
Operator (O) and subscriber (A)
Support of the Internet, hello!
- Hello, while waiting for a call to you - I have a baby, goodbye! (They are
... O_O

The Omsk Politics. The teacher is a 60 year old woman. Teach students how to create folders in Windows.

How sad it is

My dream is to take a taxi to the bakery :)

The best diet is shopping without money: extra kilograms come out with saliva)))

I am driving, your place is in the luggage.
Thank God that he never got a car instead of a big one!

A beautiful woman pleases the eye and saddens her pocket.

The Auditor.
The real story happened not so long ago in Karaganda. A resident of Temirtau, a student of KarGU named Buketov made a computer certificate of an employee of the presidential security service and invented a special message, writing in it, as if he was sent from the presidential administration to check how public servants observe the rules of traffic.
The headquarters of the road police department trusted the lip papers, and for 5 days the student checked the work of personnel and personally removed the tint from the glasses of cars belonging to far from the last people in the finpol and other state structures.
"He behaved very confidently, so there were no doubts that he was not an employee of the presidential security service," - so wrote in their explanatory staff of the department of the financial police, from the cars of which on the territory of the finpol the student personally stripped the tint from the glasses.
In the same way, the management of the road police department was justified, giving the student of the third course of the historical faculty of KarGU special rights - giving him the form of a road police officer and a special machine.
The matter was in the evening, there was nothing to do a 20-year-old student from Temertau in December 2008, bored in the evening at home, decided to have fun. He found in
On the Internet, a sample of the official certificate of an employee of the presidential protection service (SOP), inserted their questionnaire data and put it on the printer. Then I entered the word "Special Message" on the computer. And below the text: "We are sending our employee to the Department of Internal Affairs of the Karaganda region's road police department to carry out activities aimed at stopping traffic violations." And the signature: "Chief of the AP presidential protection service SK4 Major B.E.
of Cocktables.”
The student invented this position and surname, after which he put the text on an ordinary sheet of paper and wrote himself.
With this lip special message and the certificate of an employee of the SOPA, the student came to the regional department of the road police and, showing the duty documents, asked to carry him to the chief. He was immediately taken to the office of Bolat Ahimbekov.
After seeing the special message from the SOP, the head of the road police department did not doubt that it was authentic. He immediately summoned his deputy officers and ordered that a patrol car with two inspectors and a special form be handed over to the gentleman from Astana to conduct inspections on the roads of Karaganda. S is
From December 26 to January 1, the man controlled the work of road policemen who patrolled the central streets of the regional center.
A hospitality police officer wanted to rent an apartment or hotel for the capitalist companion, but he polently refused, saying that he would spend the night in Temirtaou, where his mother lives. The police didn’t know that Temirtau was his hometown and that every night he returned home.
Suspicions that the Astana companion is self-proclaimed appeared in the head of the road police department Achimbekov after a few hours. It seemed strange to him that no one from the road police committee had warned him about the upcoming inspection and departure to Karaganda. Ahimbekov was surprised and the young age of the guy: at 20 years it is impossible to work in such a serious structure.
Ahimbekov immediately contacted the staff of the DKNB and asked to check whether such a person works in SOPE. Chekists for some reason took a few days to get a response.
And while they were collecting the files, the Tamirtau student broke out in full – he patrolled the streets of the city in a special form and checked the quality of the inspectors’ work.
Moreover, with the check in the finpol, the student wanted to check how the requirements of traffic rules are observed by employees of the regional financial police. The crew of the road police entered the finpol courtyard, and the student of KarGU personally struck the tinted film from the front windows of the department officials’ cars.
Of course, the majors and colonels did not like it, but in front of them – a representative from the presidential guard service! His demands to remove the tinted film from the glasses fulfilled all without exception.
And by this time, employees of the KNB department learned that there is no employee with such a name in SOPE. There is no chief Koktebaev, whose signature is under the travel document. And in general, this department did not authorize anyone to go to Karaganda for inspection. Control of compliance with traffic rules does not belong to its functions.
Local leaders took their heads. KarGU student was detained on New Year’s Eve – January 1, 2009 at 4 o’clock in the morning, when he and other inspectors took part in the patrol of Gogol Street. Employees
The DNCB seized in his pocket his official identity card and lip special message.
In his excuse, the student of KarGU said that he forged a passport and a special message to "feel in the skin" of the employee of the SOP and the inspector of the road police. He said he always dreamed of feeling power and bringing order in society. Therefore, he filmed the toning of public servants' cars.
He was charged with forgery of an official document and its use (Article 325 of the Criminal Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan) and the assignment of the title of representative of power (Article 328 of the Criminal Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan).
and innocent!
The investigation lasted a long time, after which the investigator sent the criminal case to the court. But recently the regional prosecutor’s office refused to support the accusation in this case. The supervisory authority decided that the student did not commit crimes. And all of his outbreaks are the result of the negligence of officials of the road police. The regional prosecutor’s office concluded that the young man did not falsify the document, but simply invented it.
“The form of the certificate of an employee of the SOP under No. 0000501, seized from the detained resident of Temirtau M., does not correspond to the special model of the certificate,” – said in the conclusion of the judicial technical examination.
In addition, the Prosecutor’s Office did not agree with the investigator and on the article
Appointment of the title of representative of power. After all, the student did not personally draft the protocols, which means that he did not take on the powers of others. And the fact that he required public servants not to drive with toned glasses is right! Every citizen of Kazakhstan has the right to demand compliance with traffic rules.
Recently, the Prosecutor’s Office issued a resolution on the termination of the criminal case for the absence in the actions of the student of the crime.
It is good that the student was not a bad, but a good joke and made legal demands to remove the toning, rather than demanding money from offenders drivers or did not commit another crime. And law enforcement agencies in the future should be more careful and do not believe the first counterpart and its documents made on Xerox.
The student from Temirtu, who had arranged the show and caused a lot of trouble to law enforcement, apologized to them and promised not to make such a joke anymore.

by Yulia Arshavin:
Andrew, where have you been?
He played football!
Why is the shirt dry and does not smell?
I am for the collection...

State of the roads in central Ukraine.
Xy1: in the steppes again?
Xy2: They obviously didn’t bomb Libya.

On ecology after the report on environmental situation in Japan. Prepod:"What can you offer Japan to improve the situation?". "Inventing the Time Machine" The preponderance approved.

We had somehow fire safety exercises, the lecturer got shy, uncertain, all the time cried, worried, in a word, nervous. After the course of lectures, they went to practice, burned a piece of cotton coated with gasoline and extinguished with various kinds of fire extinguishers. After an unsuccessful attempt to extinguish the burning bulb thrown to the legs of this lecturer, he unthinkingly began to extinguish him with his legs.
As it turned out later it was the senior fire inspector, it had to be extinguished.

Nippon Steel Corporation won an order from RZD for delivery in the first half of 2009. 70 thousand Thermally processed rails. In 2008, Nippon Steel already delivered 20 thousand rubles to the Russian Railways. t of this product.
Japan, where there are almost no natural minerals, supplies rails to Russia... And you still say to sell snow to Eskimoes.

The Spring...
Looking in the eyes of women is getting harder.
© Phantom

A colleague (xxx) returned from a three-week hospital.

I was worried in the hospital if my sandwich was broken. Maybe someone ate it?
YYY: Yes I have eaten.
Very good, you have 80 rubles.

Was there already the idea of attaching a mini-chat?

I met a classmate, not seen for 2 years, both had free time - they went to the cafe to scratch their tongues. Naturally for such a meeting, we tell who's how life goes. I say I am married. She is:
Who is your husband?
It is understandable that the husband’s profession is one of the parameters of a successful marriage on the female scale. And my husband, I have to say, manages the Ciskovskij glands. Most in my circle of communication are aithishniks, so on the machine I answer proudly:
The Admin-Syskood
Humanitarian classmate, looking at my fourth size:
The sequel is understandable.