bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96130
 02.04.2014
British scientists have concluded that eating large amounts of fruit can reduce the risk of death by almost 2 times.
Thus e. If there’s a lot of fruit, there’s a 50% chance that I won’t die.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96129
 02.04.2014
by Christa_eselin

The neighbor is at the entrance. Nearby there is another neighbor – an old, kind and poorly known to me.
The neighbor. By the way! Do you know who wrote the best about Ukraine?
LIDIVANNA (occupied with contemplating his own mops, who is occupied with contemplating a fish skeleton rolling on the lawn). I know. and pause. and Gogol.

The neighbor looks at her, and something in his face is reluctantly and incomprehensively changing.

LIDIVANNA (after a break, still looking at the mops). No, I can’t do that, maybe someone else has written well... (pause). Well, yes, here is Pushkin...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96128
 02.04.2014
All the fucking people have come. Two grandmothers start fighting on Facebook.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №96127
 02.04.2014
Today, Mr. Pope has Dr.
He lives 2.5 km from my job on a straight line, but I will go to him by subway through Pushkinskaya, through the Rebellion...
There is a small Nevada between us.
zzz: 2.5 km is 25 minutes walk. Go on foot, the weather is good.
XXX: Going on the water at Boutusov
Zzzz: when you get bored, go home.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №96126
 02.04.2014
<rvncerr> If I close the door to the neighbors by welding it will not be much cheaper?
<LuTeR> No, normal situation

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №96125
 02.04.2014
The Latvian Army:
The first time I was interrogated by the Security Police was in 2004, when I wrote in the local newspaper “Vesti Danas” that with the entry into NATO the Latvian army (i.e. the Latvian Army) was in combat readiness. The time it is ready to confront the enemy has increased from 4 to 9 minutes - just enough to run to the nearest pit and pour the leaves.
Then a local FBI analogues tried to find out my sources of information. I sent them with a light heart... to the NATO website. They calmed and calmed...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №96124
 02.04.2014
Dear Drivers!
Those who believe that yellow is already possible.
And those who think that yellow is still possible.
You will definitely meet! It is destiny!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96123
 02.04.2014
XXX: Imagine a trampoline from which a tractor was made.
xxx: here is the documentation for the pollovnik, yes

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96122
 02.04.2014
xxx: I thought here that pastharianism appeared as a pillar over religion.

xxx: And suddenly in its time Christianity (or any other religion, or even all the present religions in general) also appeared as a pillar over something else?

And in the future, fucking understand how long all religions will be forgotten except for Pastepharianism and people will absolutely seriously walk with puzzles on their heads and believe in a flying pasta monster.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96121
 02.04.2014
Americans are preparing a war in Ukraine using genetically modified soldiers (heard by a journalist from a barber in the salon).

______
This is her trailer "Captain America" for the release of the news accepted.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96120
 02.04.2014
Q: Have you done a load test of your websites?
M: I bring them every morning with the sign of the cross
W is O)
M: DOO
M: and put on them the symbol of fertility.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №96119
 02.04.2014
xxx: And if you remember that this is still one person, then the story comes out of the life of flat worms.
xxx: Do you know the peculiarities of their reproduction from the school program?
YYY :D
You need a lump, right?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I am about flat. Their body consists of such mini-parts, each of which can fertilize the neighbor, if necessary. That is, if no one else is nearby, then the flat worm rubs itself. Mmm, sorry, he meets himself

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96118
 02.04.2014
YYY: You don’t have a girlfriend?
Are you going to logic courses?
YYY: Let’s sleep then
xxx to go. When is?
YYY: in the weekend
You will find an apartment
YYY: Do you not want?
XXX to you? I want of course. Only with the apartment. Maybe just meet?
yyy: no, I want a bath, candles, black makeup, I have a whisker
YYY: Remember as before
xxx: and so
YYY: Well what?
Sorry, bath, candles, makeup is of course in your performance fucking sexy, but above your head you will not jump, I have 4 people at home, and other apartments I have not yet.
You can rent an apartment for 24 hours.
XXX: I am looking for you.
YYY: I will find it myself, just say no
XXX: Yes of course
yyy: it is good))
From April 1st, you guys!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96117
 02.04.2014
I love you... Did you throw my candy in my pocket?
and yes. Next time it could be drugs.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №96116
 01.04.2014
to this:

I’m from Crimea and I don’t want your Russian Post.
Question: What should I do?

and nothing. It will be lost on its way :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №96115
 01.04.2014
The Virtual:
Why are the glasses in the OT (buses, trolleybuses...) near the doors? They can be destroyed, destroyed, and so on. and etc.

by ZingeR:
to make it difficult for the wicked grandmother, to whom you gave up the place, and she still buzzes, to spit on your back when you go out. Everything is done :znaika:

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №96114
 01.04.2014
The sinusoid current on the direct wires goes backward-step :-P

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №96113
 01.04.2014
Hello to you, Serena! Today you approach him shorter from behind, you catch, I hit the stomach, you pursue.
Oh, you’re wrong with the chat.
WOW: O_O

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №96112
 01.04.2014
I sit at work. My wife took pictures of her in her underwear. The conversation flows smoothly to the privacy settings of the album – such as "and if someone else will see her photos".
I write in response: "I removed the link to the boss. It is opened"
) ) )
A great April joke. Then, however, he reassured, telling that the chromium "in incognito" mode is not displayed.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №96111
 01.04.2014
And the fact that the methods change every year does not mean that the parents are idiots and fear in vain, but that all these methods, no hell, there would be at least one decent, it would have stopped.

As a teacher I can say that the methods change every year because of the requirement of the ministry to have methods not older than one year.

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