bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111635
 03.04.2015
Messiah, here is a religionist. Go to the neighboring cabin.

For the suicides.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111634
 03.04.2015
Oh you, suddenly what... Recently it was proved that gay marriage is not needed because it gives nothing. And as we talked about how the property is pressed away from someone - so 100 reasons for marriage, because he turns out to give so much profit in the case of inheritance, and with some other legal things... In general, what I want to say: heterosexuals, well you and pido-races.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111633
 03.04.2015
"Dear pregnant women, disabled people, elderly people and passengers with children, do not hesitate to ask for a seat!"

My classmate a week before the birth went to the universe for an exam. From the distant suburb (one and a half hours by electricity). She woke up in the subway from a massive blow with a stick on her head - in this way a nearby old lady told her that it was not possible to pretend and give up the place.

Yes, people are careless. The most important thing, let’s be careful.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111632
 03.04.2015
2 IT engineers:
We need a slave.
Why Why?
Rings to wash. Oh! Do you remember the brunette-TP that called us all to drop the file on the flash?
Well?
We have to take it into circulation.
and yes! We will call her with the words "we have an insoluble problem, only you can help. For this we will give you a subscription to the priority ones. of service.
And we give the "certificate" a printer test page.
And on both sides we write "Check".
It will go into the cycle.
So we will take her out by phone call.
The system function is "washthecup".
Here is the remote challenge!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111631
 03.04.2015
After the collapse of a great country, each of the former fraternal republics went its own way, but in the ass.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111630
 03.04.2015
to this:

Evgeny, I am always tormented by the question of how to determine - fish or not, in the winter? You have to put it on the standard...
-----------
Fuck, I’m not going to sleep at night now, tell me what is "Pispet fish"?? to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111629
 03.04.2015
Advertising in the subway should be replaced.
Instead of
“Dear passengers, give seats to pregnant women, the elderly, the disabled and the passengers with children.”
by
"Dear pregnant women, disabled people, elderly people and passengers with children, don't hesitate to ask for a seat!"The people around you are not bad, just careless, everyone sits in their gadget, in their headphones and nothing sees or hears around.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111628
 03.04.2015
I go to the subway to work.The boss writes a text message -"I work today from home if you call."I write immediately to a colleague"the boss will not let us calm in the morning we will smoke at the entrance". I send the boss. He says, “When do you start?” Do not be angry then that I blame you for inattention;)" Blind :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111627
 03.04.2015
I was 23 when a mini-zoo came to our town. Monkeys, crocodiles, spiders and snakes. They were placed in one of the museums. To go to the announced feeding of the python I did not find strength in myself. I chose another day. There were no visitors, the young observer sincerely missed, and so I was delighted.
Can a monkey be bitten?
It doesn’t matter, they bite. Crocodile is possible. Do you want?
O_O

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111626
 03.04.2015
Remember we had candy at home? No one has eaten for six months.
I pulled them to work and put them in the kitchen.
XXX: Starting to eat
Yesterday I was hungry :D
Working like a forest - here everything is delicious.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111625
 03.04.2015
A twenty-three year old girl.

So it turned out that I looked much younger than my age: strangers barely give eighteen when I was almost twenty-four. What can I pay for?<>
"What is the name of the girl?" - again about me, but in the doctor's office: I needed to apply seams, called the surgeon. For a moment, the medical card lies with the doctor on the table, and in it in addition to the name indicated the year of birth.

The doctor could also pay for the change, and first ask and then read the card.
And the rest, just smile, youth will fly away and you will not notice it.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111624
 03.04.2015
A colleague told me.
He worked in the previous place, they had a woman combat director there. In the first month of his work, he spoke to her three times in total. So, once again, I called him to talk to me, com. He issued:
I have been talking to you for a month, right?
Yes about that.
So, let’s go to the mat!
by 0_0

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111623
 03.04.2015
Why is "Dama" Madonna, be kind to you.
To one familiar grandmother (young enough she looked, yes) tried to address "Girl, and could not..." and got in response "So no one has insulted me yet. Do you think I didn’t need anyone in my life?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hamlo she, if she responds so and does not see the difference between the words girl and virgin.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111622
 03.04.2015
“Jehovah’s Witnesses, who called into the apartment of a drunk professor of philosophy, after half an hour converted to Islam right next to the housephone.”

- You will laugh, but from acquaintances, journalists and philologists, the Witnesses fled. This couple just before that wrote referrals on the Bible.The acquaintance then saw them on the street and wanted to talk, but they fled from him. and diversified.

- and had these acquaintances consultants Amway or Oriflame - witnesses would simply not have left

- My acquaintance told me how such spiritualized creatures approached them with their son on the street :--), we witness, the one to which he replied, and we witness Muslims, do you want to go through the ritual of circumcision :P Witnesses evaporated with distorted faces))) uncle to say psychiatrist

- I have a good acquaintance, in the FSB headed the department on public organizations. When such people knocked on him, his wife took her head... She was listening to another lecture, and he was a Paradise Taste!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111621
 03.04.2015
We’ve gotten a cheek, how much we can.
— — — —
There was only one pregnant girl in history: the Mother of God.
All pregnant women are women.
— — — —
The Virgin Mary was a virgin. She was a virgin. This is the key word.
In ancient times, the girl, after getting married, changed hairstyle and / or style of clothing. So it was immediately clear who before you - married al is not. It made sense to verbally share at least some, and they aged faster. But the walking girl is still a girl, even though she is clearly not a virgin. In modern life, a girl is nothing more than an appeal to a more or less young-looking female, no matter how many husbands and children she had. Words change meaning over time, following the realities of life, well, what’s not understandable? Officially, the married do not all wear rings, and all the virgins from the virgins you on the street how to distinguish suggest? Or are you to any older than 14-15 years, so as not to be mistaken, contact "dama, transfer for the trip"?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111620
 03.04.2015
You’ve really swallowed! Why does Santa Claus not exist? Get away from Santa!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111619
 03.04.2015

The day has gone wrong.
SIMPLEFOTO posted Apr 01 2015, 08:11
The daughter in the garden needs to cook eggs, two pieces, will be painted. Well, I am a scientist, a fly in the ear, I know that one must crack, counted the probability, put three. He threw the heat-intensive conductivity, decided that the water needed more, let it boil longer, but it won't break out, although the time is over, the cooking of eggs is not included in the morning schedule. He cooked, cooled and cleaned. Damn, where was I when the brains were distributed???? to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111618
 03.04.2015
I remember how in the 90s it suddenly became possible (or fashionable?) And all the children in the class, taking off the Oktoberfest icons, hanged crosses on their necks - and crushed us with a girlfriend for not wearing crosses. The teacher, I remember, stood up for us.
Five years later, I was mocked by my teachers for wearing a cross. In the ear.
Such affairs

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111617
 03.04.2015
[xxx: TWO girls slept under the window late in the evening. Pronounced by Zero-Virgin: If I Were a Queen

Calm the camel of your imagination with the plugs of shame, efendi. Even the most stupid loser will not confuse the number with the number. Three girls in any case. Do not number them. No 1, 2 and 3. Number 0, 1 and 2. Or foo, bar, zoc.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111616
 03.04.2015
Interview question: What is the difference between IEnumerable<T> and IQueryable<T> when working with remote BD?! to
Answer: If the BD is deleted, requests will not work

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