bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45403
 03.04.2011
From Habr:
Paper card against the railway:
of the plus:
Compactly
You can twist as you want and separate the squares.
You can make notes.
It can be used as a tap in the car.
There is no paper, and the fire needs to be lit.
All emergency services with phone numbers.
Increases without brakes.
Upgrade costs 10 rubles per year. (There will be notify about the update every 10 minutes)
Does not require electricity.
The hoops will not take.
Do not turn to the left where it is forbidden.

From the Minuses:
It does not show where you are.
Don’t turn to the left where it needs to be done.
In the full darkness of light.

[ + 108 - ] Comment quote №45402
 03.04.2011
On a brick fence near the work of graffiti: "Panki hoy, punk are alive, punk x** lay on you."
This “you” from the big letter touches me to tears.
From Diary

[ + 84 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45401
 03.04.2011
to you:
to you:
I heard a funny story yesterday. Police arrested a 35-year-old man for raping an emo boy. Ask a man in court.
Are you of unconventional orientation? Why did you rape the boy?
The boy???! to

Fucking as fun.

Boy, is it you?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №45400
 03.04.2011
A colleague of dr. As usual, we collected a envelope with money, whoever could, as a gift.
The director congratulates, pushing the speech:
- You only, Misha, spend that money wisely: on drugs and selling women :)
One of the employees:
Sergey Yurievich is! Not even a gram is enough.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №45399
 03.04.2011
C of Habra:

xxx: I am not ashamed of my colleagues with such a list with some exceptions.
YYY: A kind of disgraceful word. The Companions...
Zzzz: What a big deal!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №45398
 03.04.2011
It’s bad when you realize that you’ve burned, only after you’ve shaved.

[ + 36 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45397
 03.04.2011
I was able to make a scientific breakthrough, today I am making my first time trip. If we won the Second World War, and the President of Russia, D.A. Medvedev, I have succeeded.

Wish me good luck.

[ + 51 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45396
 03.04.2011
A: Buy yourself a mac, what are you pretending?
B: Yes, I would buy it, but I’ve told so many people that Maki is shit.

[ + 123 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45395
 03.04.2011
I went with my friends on the main street. Today will be a match between Dynamo (Moskva) and Volga (Nizhny Novgorod). Dynamics go and shout: Dynamo is the champion! (And something in that spirit.)
There is a woman in a wheelchair in which a child sleeps. One of the fans of Dynamo screams to everyone: Silence! The child is sleeping!
After that, this crowd is singing a new slogan: Quietly the child is sleeping! (It is almost whispering)
I am in shock :D

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №45394
 03.04.2011
Despite the fact that my father lived in Siberia for 25 years, he could never get rid of the accent.
I sit with my mom in the kitchen. Dad comes in, looks at Mom and says:
The fire!
We are in Ahuya, we think what to first take out of the house, and he continues the phrase:
and potatoes.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №45393
 03.04.2011
Yes, fuck him with everyone, leave "More cats", for God’s sake=) "Mimimimimim", I cry for humiliation =)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №45392
 03.04.2011
The Old Man (9:00)
No, there is no pair.

Thirteen (9:00) :
seriously?

Thirteen (9:00) :
I was wearing cowards.

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45391
 03.04.2011
Discussing who was fooled:

X: When I was born, the doctor said, “Welcome to our beautiful world, baby!”
y: A should have said, “Welcome to the real world, Neo?”

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №45390
 03.04.2011
I agreed with my husband to have children, then sex.
As I put my kids on, I cut off. My husband also fell asleep while waiting for me. This is the kind of sex ((((

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №45389
 03.04.2011
Advertising: Our trousers are not shameful to show! Buy the right clothes for the world! The right pants are... unexpectedly...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №45388
 03.04.2011
xxx: And we in one clinic in the reception room had an announcement: "For registration required: passport, insurance and home phone". Below in the clamps is written "only number" - I'm wondering how many telephone devices were drawn to this attribute...

[ + 119 - ] Comment quote №45387
 03.04.2011
Often, leafy channels on a calf, I get on channels, where girls show a variety of fashionable clothes. And there are always some thin girls with a moustache, as if they've just made a moneyball. And I really don’t understand – these chickens are some standard of beauty? Interesting for whom? Whoever I ask - everyone likes cute, gentle, humble girls with a normal female figure - i.e. There is a pop and a chest, and the girl herself is not a seed dry.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №45386
 03.04.2011
xxx: Hi, here in our courtyard neighbor as always parked right on the playground, where my children play, please take action.
YYY: Okay, we will take action, the evacuator is already coming.
Thank you very much, I didn’t even know where to park.

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45385
 03.04.2011
In Kazan will be held a rally in defense of the Russian language
YYY: What is it?
XXX is in.

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №45384
 02.04.2011
And again spring, and again not before sleep, and again the heart is aroused by unclear doubts - the moment has come when everything will be different, not as before?
But no, again the asphalt came off the roads along with the snow (((

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