bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127556
 30.04.2016
I forgot my phone at home with two cats. Bars and Mars.
I am working on a googling profile. something shrunk, I watch the activity of devices - windows trail (home comp) - 16 minutes ago. Phone 3 minutes ago. On the way, Bars sits behind the comp and Mars plays phone games.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127555
 30.04.2016
and o. You will see how the ruble grows. The dollar is back!!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127554
 30.04.2016
X: Yes, as I said, our obž-šnik at school: in case of an explosion at the milk factory, you have to run to the bald mountain )))
Z: I admire your memory.) I don’t even remember if we had an OBJ. Although there was something
X: Well... the anti-gases, right? and marble bands)
Z: No, anti-gases I only remember at Alenka in Insta
Z is fucking
Z: On the military, not on Alenka... interesting car replacement though :))
X: Poor Alenka

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127553
 30.04.2016
I had a friend named Anatoly. Once in the hospital, he got a small bottle from his buttocks, or rather the rectum, well, you know, such souvenir samples with a volume of 100-150ml. As it turned out, history (more precisely Tolyan himself) is silent. However, after this incident, everyone calls him Tola-minibar.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127552
 30.04.2016
This speaking bird is different from most local inhabitants.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127551
 30.04.2016
With me in the office sits a young employee, often corresponding with her husband on Skype on a smartphone. She opened a voice recognition function for herself in Skype and immediately began to dictate messages:
Listen as comfortable now on Skype.
Yes...
And it is printed without errors... it is printed... it is printed... PE-CHA-TA-ET-SE...


[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127550
 29.04.2016
I received a message from an unknown number:
"Your card is blocked, contact 926blabla."
I pull out of my pocket a calendar with a metro map, I look at it, I think - "Bla. What is it?"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №127549
 29.04.2016
Should not disappear

The piracy =

The year 1982. I just bought from the moreman in aprache the licensed Beatles vinyl "Abby Road". A couple of days later, Vadik looked at me from the fourth entrance with Dorzov’s newly acquired vinyl from the farce. Since what was my "Romantic", what Vadikov "Nota" wrote fucking, it was decided to go down to Boris, who had "Akai" In the end, six copies were made from the vinyls - two for me (which would blame me for nothing to write), two for Vadik (for the same reasons) and two for Boris (for services).
So now this exchange of music is called piracy?
I am too old to understand that.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127548
 29.04.2016
by Melicenta77

From the series of professional deformation and the dreamy dream of the editor.
I dreamed one nightmare, as if we had a children’s book, "6+", and there was a mother’s word in it. Moreover, it is like down in a noticeable place, in the middle of the page and semi-fat is highlighted. And, most importantly, not motivated by the story. That is, it is generally unclear how it got there (probably, non-friends-diverrants stole into the editorial house at night, opened the wire and inserted it). The book has already come out and went on sale. And in the output data, where the editor-in-chief is indicated, of course, my name.
It is completely unclear what to do with this now.
It was a horror incomparable. Then I woke up.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127547
 29.04.2016
I am starting to get paranoid.
YYY: What is it?
XXX is forgotten
Yyy: so, sweetheart, not paranoia, but sclerosis

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127546
 29.04.2016
gendalf: I got an email from the job site with the topic "Success of your resume"
Fuck, even my resume has some success... ((

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127545
 29.04.2016
The icons are not in Feng Shui.
This is all you need to know about modern spiritual searches.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127544
 29.04.2016
The genius:

What is needed for a successful business? Write a virus program, run it on the network, start selling a program that fights this virus.

You are mega! I invented it myself? It is genius!
Evgeny Kaspersky has been doing this since 1992.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127543
 29.04.2016
Upgrade to Win10:

iDm1: An analogy is incomplete. Given the update policy in Windows 10, the new hammer is fast, efficient, but sometimes randomly and without warning for half an hour turns into a rubber dildo. Is it worth reminding that the old hammer did not suffer from such a disadvantage? and :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127542
 29.04.2016
XXX: ZP 120k walked raising the nose, said a little, let's get more, I'm a super popper special know everything, took a young girl assistant on 75k turned out to be much smarter and smarter... Begin depression... What to do?

Change the gender. She will be a young, promising girl, and you will be an elderly programmer, behind modern technology, and everything will come to its place.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №127541
 29.04.2016
He put for originality in the office coffee machine the language "Polish". The Russians returned a day later. This is the first "Chinese". No one can move yet.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127540
 29.04.2016
Xxx: Okay, I’m joking
PCs are people too. The main thing is to do their PCs at home so that no one sees them. Children especially

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127539
 29.04.2016
Lost ridiculus, validol, binoculus and parabellum. What else does an elderly need?

Alex Orlov

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №127538
 29.04.2016
Just imagine people entering the palace of councils, and they see a huge, enormous hall, all illuminated, decorated, and in the middle of it the temple of Christ the Savior.

And inside the temple of the Mausoleum with Lenin. There is an egg in Lenin. A needle in the egg.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127537
 29.04.2016
I learned the ninja art.
xxx: I learned to eat yogurt so that both cats don't even wake up and don't start begging :)

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