If I had been a little more refined and intelligent, I would have written now, most likely so – I would have visited today in the caring legs of the homeland. But since I am a person of a simpler configuration, I also summarize less sophisticatedly – I, guys, was dealing with the rarest hernia today.

It all started with the fact that I scratched out of an analogue mailbox, which, by the way, I check very rarely, along with paper spam, notification of a custom mail on my name.
The trial was a terrible blast on a piece of paper, and I, mindfully overtaking all my crimes, went, in any case, pityfully dragging my leg, to receive this very letter to the mail.

In the mail, by the way, I also get very rarely, because somehow it happened that I use other delivery services, so I did some tour.
Good for the mail! You can easily buy a shrimp in a tomato sauce, it is placed directly on their bench, as well as a model of a mail machine, vermicell, sugar and vegetable oil of the middle price segment. Skannwords “Technin language” and the newspaper “AIDS-info”.
Okay, joke, there are no newspapers, but it’s a pity.

The walls, indeed, are all the same, scattered and painted in a man-hating, dirty-beige tone, but on one of them hangs now a screen on which an elegant line moves. and cultural! and progressive! It is innovative!
I took a pocket, received a sinister message, and opened the door.
A judge of our district court writes to me and reports that I am an evildoer and a scapegoat, and that the people of the ruler have filed a lawsuit against me for misconduct, and if I do not repay it within the specified time limit, it is ordered to deal with me dishonestly.
The amount of debt is worth. To be honest, not solid. Four hundred and sixty whole and seventy-eight copies above. A very large amount! Even with myself, before that I was a widespread gentleman.

Left away from my not very Slavic heart, I breathed out with relief. It is understandable! If it was for what I thought, then yes, and here - five hundred rubles all they want.
I grabbed my glasses (the damned computers killed my sick eye) I read - why is this for me. It turns out that he did not pay taxes three years ago for some real estate, which he had long since dropped from his balance sheet. How it came out, I did not understand, but the amount is not offensive, went to the bank. Why at the bank? Well, because the judge orders to bring a paper copy of the payment together with the original as proof of payment.

I came to the bank. There is good too! The walls are new, a pleasant green color, a cute girl explains everything to everyone, while offering to buy a silver coin in the shape of Crimea or a lottery ticket.
There is no gold? I ask the girl.
No, the girl replied sickly. Will you take the lottery?
I’m not lucky, sweetheart, in cards and other gambling, I say.
Well, so in love luck — sadly answers sweet and lags behind me, switching to the next client.

I am approaching my window, wearing a paper, yes, say, and so, I wish to pay with a guilty head, please accept cash. And the aunt on the back of the window and says to me in a human voice - it is not possible to do this, crash. The records you mistakenly printed, there is no payment for such details.

Okay... Okay! I am not a proud prince, I am a merchant. He swallowed, squeezed in his fingers and nodded to the lord's eye looking - the correct requisites to correct.
He came, removed the hat even without entering the fence, and left a sad and painful appearance on his face.
Immediately to see - when a man dies, and he tries! As if he had fallen, and he did not shake anything.

I walked through the cabinets – and they gave me the correct numbers. And why, I ask, the case came to court, why did they just not send a notification and waited three years?
And therefore, they answer me, you will know a lot — you will soon become old, you will lose the remnants of the already weak, let’s say, reason, you will begin to confuse the fundamental with the secondary and thin, you will die gloriously in the utmost forgetfulness. understandably?
How not to understand? Thank you for science. Thanks for the reception!

Why were the records initially incorrectly printed - not even started to bump. Obviously, they have so many things to do, not as small as me.

Back to the bank. Same, but a little more different. There the Crimea was not offered, but I personally saw a coin on the vitrine with Victor our Tsoi and Nicholas the Miracle Maker. She understands herself – I am neither of the one nor of the other – but it is very beautiful, of course. It looks brilliant and extremely rich. I approve of this!

I paid without adventure, I come to court. There is a guard in the latter! Naturally, two wives stand both in armoured jerseys. They are attacked by them, it is unclear what happened to the dracula, but he did not clarify the sin. Because I am already nervous about all the previous ones, and they clearly miss them. Where, I say, the judge, I brought him the payments. Now, they answer, you will have a judge.

The woman comes out strict in years and in a funeral dress. He looks at me, on papers and a terrible bass is interested - and where is the gentleman? There was a lady!
I answer her with the loudest voice, that the people of the ruler told me that if in time to repay everything voluntarily, without the use of clothes and oaks, then the government duty to pay - it is not necessary. It is not for what in such an arrangement of her, I pay for her birth.

The judge whispered badly at me, and went away, swallowing the folds of the dress somewhere in the depths of the office and there loudly, so that I could hear, to find out from someone unseen behind the door, whether my words are true. My words were confirmed by someone invisible, and they were added to my address some definition, which if desired could be taken for anti-Semitism, but I was not offended at all, because here everything is right.

The judge told me that my trial was closed, and I went out with the feeling of spending three hours in the light of God in vain, pure, impeccable and not worthy of anyone.
Honestly, it is not clear why they needed all this, because the papers and postal expenses and other charges clearly went out for a large amount. Why hasn’t there been any news for three years? And why all developing republics overseas billions are forgiven, and to me, because of the incomplete five hundred rubles, almost all the accounts were not blocked - the hell knows it.
Oh well okay. But even though the coins were beautiful, I visited the mail. Well, I generally felt that I didn’t care about my homeland, she remembers me and knows my address very well.
It is pleasant.

In the Kremlin a new motto - in any unclear situation to give for children 10 thousand and announce weekends on someone else's account.

In Florida, a law was passed on examination of the genitals of juvenile athletes



xxx: Hi, I'm a judge from Florida, send your wheelchair and I'll see if you're ready for the competition or not



A fucking you.



You are in the men’s competition!



Oh, you are the wicked one!

Great Russia, and serious affairs can only be entrusted to Petrov and Boshirov.

Effective response to employee delays

In my work, the management decided to effectively combat delays, although I will not say that everything was critical, in my department there were a total of 2-3 delays a month at all. They imposed fines:
Delay from 1 to 10 minutes 500 rubles
Delay of 11-30 minutes 1000 rubles
Delay of more than 30 minutes 5000 rubles.

At the same time, no matter if you slept or fell under the action of unbearable forces, the penalty will still be applied. The management believes that you have to anticipate all situations.
I live in a sleeping area and in case of an emergency the area gets into traffic jams. You can go, but for a long time.

So it happened to me somehow shortly after the introduction of the penalty system - an accident at one of the intersections colored the streets in red color on the navigator screen. I am standing in a traffic jamming and looking at the increasing time of arrival at work. In 10 minutes, the working day will start, and I have only walked a little bit of the road. And the navigator shows that the time of my journey has already accumulated not only on the penalty, but on the maximum. Until the working day comes, I call the boss and say, say, I have an emergency, I tearfully ask for my account today. In this regard, the boss always goes to meet us, you can write a statement in the back. She got good, turned around and went home.

My daily salary is less than the threatening fine. The effectiveness of the penalty system is simply overwhelming - it is cheaper for the employee to take a break and rest a day than to "pay" for the opportunity to work and bring profit to the company. But the leadership is enough - the delays have stopped. But, apparently, my scheme and other employees have been squeezed. The number of retreats increased. And I have been working out currencies from this realm of “efficiency and professionalism” over the last few days.

All the sounds, smells, colors in nature serve one purpose - to seduce!
Eat or eat, depending on the circumstances.

My daughter was in the first class, there was an ISO lesson that day. I take her from school, we go, we talk. She tells me, "Mommy, we painted a goose today, and one boy, in order to decorate it even more, cut off his hair and glued it so that it would be mocked, and we put him a pair.

How, how was it possible? ? to ? to He did not regret his hair, came up with five for his creative approach, non-standard thinking, creativity, just regret him.

Since then, between us, the underground name of this boy, goose)))

Years eight or nine I was, brought to the "children's world" of our military town assembly torpedo boats with an electric motor, worth 14 p.

The boat literally dreamed of me, the number of boxes with the boat in the store was aimed at the number zero, but my parents rejected my idea of buying because the self-lipped models were everything in the apartment (on the ceiling, under my feet, in the servant), and the price at the time was bite.

I lost my rest, there were three boxes with boats left, and eventually decided to go out of the store in pieces.

Waited when the sellers would go into the box, went into the box without opening and pulled out the electric motor (the first thing that got under his hand), left the store, from the adrenaline until the skin smoked, he ran home without touching the ground.

The next day, my dad took me to the store, behind the boat, and I still hired it. There was one box left on the shelf, I almost lost consciousness from joy, shaken by anticipation.

The vendors packed the box to check the completeness, look, and there is no motor. We did not sell the boat.

My emotions on the way home could not be described in words.

Then I thought deeply about my actions and their consequences.

The teacher was stolen.

Fairly and honestly the fate dealt with me.

Xxx: Once, when the hryvnia was introduced, and it was even heavier in value, I bought my first glasses for my money. It cost 30 hryvnia. I go, look at the sides, surprised by the dramatically improved resolution of the surrounding world. There... the grass is not just green, and the grasses are separate... the asphalt is not just gray, but has a complex facture, with different shades and different shades... op-pa. money... on the asphalt. of 50 grams. So in the first half an hour, the glasses paid off. It was not a small amount.

Xxx: And I once really ran away from the man so, and he ran straight after me.

I came back in the evening from work, I crossed the courtyard, headed to my entrance and I see a black figure moving toward me through the courtyard (winter, late evening, it is pretty dark in the courtyard). I accelerate the step and on the move I get the keys (it saved me in the end that I got them before I went into the entrance), the figure accelerates too, in the end I quickly type the code on the entrance door, but the gateway was long (i.e. There were no options to stop and pull her onto yourself), and the figure is already very close and I already understand that it is moving intentionally towards me. I open the door of the entrance and fly up the stairs, live on the fourth floor, run and pray that the castle in the door this time does not come in!!! A man blows behind me, between us two passes, I fly to the door (keys in hand!!!) between me and this shit one pass, I insert the key, turn - the lock worked!!! I fly into the apartment and clamp the door naturally in front of his nose and immediately on the inner claw - outside the pin on the door, then the silence.

How I trembled after – not to pass on, I called my best friend and they and my husband came to pick me up, just couldn’t be there alone that night. Until now, as I remember the feeling that I may have just escaped death – as if I run down that staircase again and pray for the castle to work.

A case postponed for tomorrow acquires an honorary status – a matter of the future.

You can be innocent a thousand times, but don’t go to the police without a lawyer.
(A known lawyer

I had a longtime client and companion. Not on the bench - bread to eat and coffee in the park to drink, but on the bars. Not hard, but in any case – offensive and with consequences.

The case was so.

On an autumn, dark, rainy November evening, this gentle and hearty idylist went out on the six-lane Jurmal Highway. Charitable highway: flat asphalt in places, acceleration and braking lanes, a two-meter fence and a fighter separates it. In the summer - limit of 100, in the winter - 90. Not without defects, but who without them? There are no lights anywhere. Somewhere a fence – as if his mol had eaten. But overall not bad. Do it better and then criticize, right? There are pedestrian bridges. and two.

But I distracted. It happens.

There was nowhere to rush our hero, so when at the end of the speed lane a pair of bombs jumped across, the speed of his racing car was about 70 km/h. Having demonstrated the wonders of extreme driving, our hero almost managed to circumvent them. It is hardly counted. He grabbed one with a mirror, and the other with a strong pencil on the back door.

“What did the bomziki do when they crossed a six-band road with a fence in the dark?“Ask of you. And I will tell you that you are not local! Locals know: on the other side of this route there are "houses" and garden houses.

Yes Yes Yes! The same gardens, where the plantations are carried in the summer and where the bomziki inhabit in the winter, simultaneously burn these houses, going to meet Peter or Petteris, depending on the location. Everyone can meet the owner of the house in the spring in his house. And some of them have the view of the veteran of hot spots and the cynicism of the pathologist. But I was distracted again. It happens.

While our hero was running around the car and called an ambulance, police, a bombardment who got the door in his ass, took his feet in his hands and, successfully repeating the attempt to storm the citadel, literally left the gardens. The second, having tried, realized that the meeting with the mirror did not go without consequences, and with a broken edge you can not escape far. I agree. I know by myself.

From the protocol of the road police is known that in the conditions of poor visibility, in the dark time of day, without reflectors, the victims crossed the multi-band highway in the wrong place, one victim was in the state of alcoholic intoxication... and further on the text. Get, sign up, no, we do not take the rights, wait for an answer.

The answer came in a couple of weeks. The initiation of a criminal case. This is always the case when there are victims. They are light and medium. Broken ribs and broken ass.

The investigation began and here we remember the epigram. Never, hear, never go alone to meetings if you are mentioned in a criminal case! Don’t go out in Africa and meet with an investigator alone.

Everything is simple and sad:
“Say, my dear and naive friend, could you avoid the clash?
Not at all, dear detective.
Why do you think so? Oh the naive citizen!
It was dark, and they jumped out right in front of the hood.
Do you want to drive slower? Could you stop, you think?
I was driving 70km instead of 90km. They jumped out...
But the rules do not prohibit you from driving 50 km/h. 90 km/h is the maximum speed limit, not the minimum speed. The minimum speed sign looks like white numbers on a blue background on a round sign.
"But after all, the flow speed was 90 km/h and I needed to fit into the stream!
Thank you, I have no more questions.

And there was an investigative experiment, but in the day and in the dry time.

And there was a trial, but through Zoom.

And our hero-idealist was sentenced to one month in prison and one year on condition. By way of way, depriving him of his rights for three years and issuing a sentence, which he will bear for the next ten years, and which will prosecute him after repayment. As long as he does not violate the rules for another year. any of them. Otherwise, a conditional year like those pants becomes real.

What about the bombs, you ask? They are all well, I think. The second, like the first, escaped. Only the next day. From the hospital. They were not in court. There was no lawyer. It’s not my fault, our hero said.

Until the last moment he waited for the judge to say, “Well, it’s absurd! The man is innocent!" or the prosecutor with a clever smile ticks under the ribs and says, "How we played you! You were filmed with a hidden camera!”

No one said. As far as the camera is concerned, it almost worked.

Have you read the message to the Federal Assembly?
Putin is telling stories.
What this time?
Something from Kipling.

On the street, a cute Russian-speaking girl begins to play with my dog. We have a dialogue we sit laughing I say compliments etc.

At some point she gets serious looking at me and says, “You’re very cool and funny,” and at the moment when my mind is overwhelmed by self-admiration adds, “I’m sad that my dad isn’t like that.”

My grandfather's parents bought shoes at the graduation. He wore them for the rest of his life. Then they were carried by his son (my grandfather), then his son (my father), then my older brother, then our middle brother, and when they got me, they broke up on the second day. My father said I can’t wear things.

They thought the deputies were the servants of the people, and they turned out to be the servants of the devil.

The story is quite funny. And I remembered this when I heard about the sentence to a police officer who allegedly stifled George Floyd, this law-abiding citizen of the United States.

by Fabula.
In a rather distant time, I lived with my wife in Arizona. A small house, stable income, everything I liked.
Until they appeared.
After six months of neighboring with African Americans, it became simply unbearable to live, neither regular police calls nor conspiracies saved, nor even the offer of bribery to a sheriff known for five years - to humiliate this shell.
Nothing at all.

It was then that we and our neighbors co-operated, and daily began to go out into a voluntary patrol, covering ourselves with the fact that we were looking for a rush that attacked a child (and at that time it really was such a case, and the shooting of rushes in Arizona is not prohibited, they are not a guard).

Then they thought. They began to behave much quieter. Because of their mentality, of course.

I don’t want to say that this particular case is suitable for everything related to them, but it seems that it’s all about it.

- Why did you not remove the cowards yet, now the master will come to repair the heating?
Do we have no money left?
Remove the cowards from the battery!

More than 10 years ago, when my children and the children of my friends were young, two young mothers I knew came into a toy store. One of them had two children at the time, they were five to six years old, and the other also had two children a little younger. The one who has a little less experience of motherhood, walks among the shelves, chooses what to please the children, stops at the shelf with musical instruments, takes a toy dude in his hands and begins to consider it. There is a mother with a lot of experience.

What are you doing!? to

Yes, I want to buy kids.

You have gone crazy!? to

What is it?

“Ola, it’s a dude, they’re going to fuck it!

XXX: So Krasnodar is the village wash, the capital of the villages



Yyy: Fuck, the wash is where you live!



XXX: So I live in Krasnodar