bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127336
 25.04.2016
Today, unraveling the crossword, on the question "Element of the plant cell" confidently brought "Vakuol". I was blinded, I had been waiting for 30 long years to use this information from school.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127335
 25.04.2016
My father is a military, so we have moved to different cities several times. At some point they found themselves in a very small town, literally 500 people and a submarine.

In the evening of the second day of my brother's stay there (years seven or eight at the time) with a motive of the type of "they came here!" was beaten by the son of Captain Masoedov, who arrived a month earlier. In principle, this is all you need to know about hatred of visitors.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №127334
 25.04.2016
In connection with the fact that I am engaged in the development of websites - sent me TZ for evaluation:

The site is an interactive online farm. A person can rent a real land plot and order its processing (planting, roofing, planting, harvesting, etc.) He can monitor all his actions online through his webcam in his personal office.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127333
 25.04.2016
I don’t know how you do, but the meaning of Saturday is to rub rub rubbish into large bunches. and all.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127332
 25.04.2016
Don’t believe it, but even money does not ask for religion.
_____
Well try the church candle for free to get, some church rite for free to order. You will be sent far away.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №127331
 25.04.2016
What is your address?
- 173.168.15.10
It is your home address!
- 127.0.0.1
Your physical address!! to
- 29:01:38:62:31:58
Fuck...

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127330
 25.04.2016
When I was 15 and I went with 3 liters of quas, I wanted everyone to think it was beer. At 28, going with 3 liters of quas, I want everybody to think it’s quas.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127329
 25.04.2016
From comments to the article "The coolest safe cars of different years" about safety cars in car races.

Partizan of the USSR: Sээлfi - so only spies of 15-20 years say. In Russian, such a ugly word! There is a self-portrait and dr.
Alexander Porivay > Partizan U.S.S.R.S.: Has it been overwhelmed?
Raymond de Piqure > Alexander Porivay: And the partisans say that they are safe. They do not know other than the Russian oral language.
E V > Partizan USSR: Chuvak, first "safty", and not "selfie", and so much less "sbhfi", secondly, what part of the word "auto-portrait" is, in your opinion, Russian?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127328
 25.04.2016
Listened to TV. Transmission about broken roads "My hole", channel I do not remember...

"This is Alexis He lives in Omsk... (the addresses of Alexei and His Dome are called) Alexei considers his pit very caring, because thanks to it he observes the speed regime, monitors the state of the walk and learned a lot of words that cannot be spoken on TV.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127327
 25.04.2016
"Heroes "

The Parental Meeting.
Everyone is sitting and listening, and the teacher is here and that one is fighting with that one. have listened.
We go out, I get a cigarette - the guy flies (well, one and a half times more accurately) and cries - "so is it yours constantly moisture?
I am "Now hz, maybe my"
He said, “Try me!"
He put him in the sun once from his fist, and he fell. He stood up and shrugged – "Now apparently yours." and went away.

And you’re standing like that, camouflaged and with a beard, you’re roasting, right?
And then you wake up and go to school... to teach physics, anatomy, and much more.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127326
 25.04.2016
To make life a messenger,
When the whole world falls to his feet,
You just smile more often.
Many will smile to you.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127325
 25.04.2016
>the book we think will be titled "Ilić and grabli"

<I can’t help but remember the old boy:
"A new model of anti-infanteric grabs with a shortened handle..."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №127324
 25.04.2016
Service of facial recognition

xxx: Please apologize, but this app **i does not differ from the tram pen.
Yyy: Could you just try your face instead of x** photographing?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127323
 25.04.2016
(From the program "Voting Rights")

by E. Ponomareva
I will tell you a phrase whose author everyone will know: “If someone decides to drown, it is impossible to save him.”
B is pleased:
and Gerasim?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №127322
 25.04.2016
XXX: I have an idea!
xxx: I will change my surname to Hu, I will give birth to my son, and I will name him Eugene. And he will be Juan Evgeny!)
Fuck, you are a genius! (the clap)
xxx: he can say anything that is named in honor of his father!)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127321
 25.04.2016
by 20161

To what God should a child come? If you lead him to the church (I suppose you meant Orthodox) it is deprivation of choice. And then, what problems are we talking about? Does the normal upbringing of a child not involve the learning of generally accepted moral norms, which, by the way, are quite similar to biblical commandments, if so? What is it that prevents parents from taking their unchristed child to church from time to time?? to

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127320
 25.04.2016
In our time for a hundred rubles a day you will not extend.
WOW: So why then? If your feet are easy...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127319
 24.04.2016
Russia has the largest territory in the world.

At the same time, people living under Moscow and working in Moscow, stand 4 hours in traffic jams to work, and 4 hours from work.

Wasting 8 hours a day is economically more profitable than living somewhere outside of Moscow.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №127318
 24.04.2016
I sit behind the comp, deepening into the forums - I choose tourist tops. Suddenly, behind him was a business and trembling voice of the wife: “Dear, what am I sinful to you?”
I love her.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №127317
 24.04.2016
Fighting with the cavalry.
Removed from social networks, blocked wherever possible. Changed cell number.
After a six-month call from him, he said he had been looking for my number for a long time to tell me that I was stupid and that he was indifferent.
Then I proposed to meet.
And these men joke about female logic.

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