I started studying cat speech today.

My gulena came home starving like death, a little swallowed with old food in the bowl and went to knit... I when approached the dish to check if there is? Why I decided to move this grain (he knows how to call them), there was a characteristic sound of food falling on the plate... right away this furia with a hole and a hole flies to the bowl, ticks the mouth, understands that it was the most brutal stroke and... in short, judging by the intonations, I learned at least 3 main mother cat words and an innumerable bunch of their forms :-D

Lara
No is! We just need to find a normal man. and all!

Amalgama
It is an ideal type that does not exist in nature.! to

Lara
fucking.

Lara
Then we are looking for a man whose limit is equal to the ideal.

At work, the fax broke, and we sent a scanned bill on the soap. Customers call back: send it again, the bill has come, but it is up.
I was amazed by our manager's expression, she calmly says: and you print it, and turn the leaflet.

I will not invite you to the wedding!

He: Nothing terrible

He is: i.e I am poem

It is: PRV
he: I made the lab you asked for in programming, take <link>
See also: Spaibo
She: Was it difficult? No one in the group could do it.
He: Yes, I had to sit overnight, I broke the cock.
She: Poor, well, I didn’t have to be so stressed, I don’t know how to thank you now.
No, the gap justifies the means.
It is: the purpose
Go on, go on, go on, go on

I love to take labs..... comes to a child with round eyes says that lab wrote itself, and asks to show where the button of wounds.

More than 100 sperm samples were stolen from a sperm bank in the Indian city of Aurangabad last week, the Times of India reports. The kidnapping was found when a thief tried to sell stolen sperm in the city of Mumbai.

And they say that in Russia, everything that comes down is gone.

When I came to the manager and told her that I wanted to write a course on Palanik, I heard the following: The first rule of the Fighting Club - never write a course on the Fighting Club :)

We have an employee like that, 40 years old, pretty nice, very polite and cultural.
I sit on the window and drink coffee.
Here she flies in and says:
Volodia, I need to urgently see what happens on the first servacle, and with my comp why the ssh does not work. Can it be yours?"
I answer: "I’m just connected, you can look"
She says "Oh, and he’s stuck with you. Please give us a password and please"
My answer is "socks". I endure a long pause, watch her tears run and unwaveringly continue: "Latinese, through emphasis"

I have the feeling that those who in public transport ask to give up their seat to any grandmother – they do it not out of concern for grandmother, but out of jealousy that you are sitting and they don’t cheat.

The usual situation is like this! One woman refused to tour. Since it was a familiar lady, I did not take any advance payments. In case of refusal of the tour operator is paid a fine in the amount of 99% of the cost of the tour. The transfer costs $20. Actually, I am now hanging a trip to Egypt for 7 days at the Taba Resort (Sharm El Sheikh). Departure on May 9, arrival on May 16. Hotel Sonesta Taba 5*, all-inclusive meals, single room, sea view. Hotel on the shore. Drinks within the hotel are free. Whoever wants can check out the hotel on tophotels. The price of the question was 24 thousand, considering that I invested 3 thousand of my own = 21 thousand rubles!
Please help me! I will be very grateful!! If you don’t want, maybe your friends will. I still have a beer ? ?


ICQ 115 777 266

XX: Yesterday I laughed with a woman...And the face still burns...
YYY :?? to
Twenty-four: Yesterday on the avenue in the evening we go, I see a store with flowers, and on the street in the vessels there are roses and some flowers...Well, I do not fit them close to the Man I say the type you like and I begin to look at the prices, and the seller-grandmother of the years 70... still responds, confusing, repairs the flowers...I look at the male stone, then greener, I am standing on her attention zero...the shorter near people stand, rjet...Tut the man catches me by the hand and pulls me strongly to the side...I am in the tears in my eyes and says that the type I look at the name, eyes up-and-there "RITUAL SERVICES" (winkles, artificial flowers,
Is this the type I used to flower for the deceased??? I see, the prices are somewhat funny... well, and the technology has come...
YYY: The man who?
XX: She said that she would give me shoes, I already guessed what...

Hello as a hole.
She: What?? to
He is the T9 Gluccha!! to
She: Okay, and what about you?
He is: well! I would fuck you now!
She: Let you go!! to
I’m sorry, he’s crawling again.
He was kissing!! to
Something does not fit in the letters!
He: A type of hole fit

I work in the IT department at the factory.Days came an application from the user:"A letter came by e-mail,please send a specialist to help understand what it was about".The department cried.

Boogie: during the clock
Legic: I know your "watch"
Tagged: catch up
Do you have vampires again? We need another silver cross, and the holy water a pair of veins.
The Legion :???? CHO?
Legic: If you don't take rum with a cleaner, drink a boom
Boogie: laundry, blood suckers chew

LOVE: Growth 170, hair of brown color, thin. I love dancing, I like to go to sports events.
Alien1024: Are they moving independently? O_O

I take an exam in finance.
School of Economics, Faculty of Economics...
Prepod asks the student, the one who is not sure answers - the caroche crashed.
Prep asks – are you working?
Students yes
Pre- to who?
Top student manager.
Prepod - How can a top manager not know what an emission policy is? I did not give up! 2 is!! to
The second student also...
Who do you work for
Student of Mercenary!
Prepod – How can a merchandiser not know what international financial institutions are? I did not give up! 2 is!! to
Then there were secretaries, accountants, cassiers, etc.
Here I answer...Karoche also crashed...And the prede again asks you work?
I am yes!
Prep and who?
I am a system administrator.
Here the prede looked at me with full eyes of regret and said - give a look!

When did she tell you this, where were your hands?
yyy: where there was no electricity :) and on the waist, and on the keyboard :)
XXX: What about the joystick? Who is below the waist?
YYY: What kind of baby joystick does she have? Tchapp is there!

From VKontakte:

Lada Potehina left the association "The Club of Amateurs to run on the white snake, to whisper so, blam-blam, on the shells of colotilla".

What did I miss in this life on anatomy?? to

XXX is a writer. The shoulder pulled. Now you move your left hand.
Yyyy: And you walked with your right hand.