bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №46043
 16.04.2011
The country, candy is called "Brother from the North came"

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №46042
 16.04.2011
I go home late at night. The wife calls.
I’m going to sleep, don’t you mind?
I am against.
Wife : Why?
I want sex.
Wife: Do you have a sleeping shoe?

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №46041
 16.04.2011
The bird of happiness also cracks.
Probably a lottery ticket.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №46040
 16.04.2011
Boys are three to four times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls. Although experts don’t yet have an exact answer to why this happens, some believe that girls with a mild form of autism may be better at hiding its symptoms, and thus autism is considered simply a CHARACTER OF THEIR PSYCHICS.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №46039
 16.04.2011
No, this is what you need to be to give twins a name...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №46038
 16.04.2011
What would you do if you found out that your girlfriend is a fan of Zenit? (Same friend of the fierce fan of CSKA)
I would dress her in Zenit’s shape and punish her.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №46037
 16.04.2011
Prep (P) at the lecture got one student, here he says to him:
Q: I will ask you a check question at the exam!
Voice from the back: is the control question like a control shot?
Q: Yes, I will have to shake my brains.

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №46036
 16.04.2011
We take an office in a building where one toilet is on the floor and after lunch, employees usually go to wash dishes in the laundry machine located in that toilet. I go to the toilet with a dirty plate in one hand and a fork in the other. A familiar employee comes out of the toilet, who has just dealt with the need, and asks: "Is there anything behind the supplement?..."
If he didn’t run so fast, I’d hit him with a fork.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №46035
 16.04.2011
I want to fly
She: And I
to embrace someone.
She: And I
He is:
They will fall and talk...
She is WOW. and I
and then fucking hard.
All night
See also: Eeee
He: Fuck, I thought it was

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №46034
 16.04.2011
3 children in the family. The youngest is 5 years old.
She says to her mom, “Mom, I’m tired of being the smallest, give us another girl.
M: Oh, I don’t even know. Such matters are not discussed without the father, you need to talk to him!
What can I do with him? can I give him money?? to


[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №46033
 16.04.2011
I really got a porn movie here. Usually, as it happens: the man is over, the porn is over. And then... the girl has already finished five times, and the guy didn’t end and didn’t end. One waited and heated him, and he didn’t finish! I was so worried about a guy, you know. But it all ended well. He finished anyway. I have not been so pleased with the heroes of the film.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №46032
 16.04.2011
I missed a barbecue gift set here yesterday. Everything would be great, but from the side it looks like an ordinary green school backpack of the late 1990s. And here I go I am so joyful (20 years, not shaved a week) with him on the street, and I notice that somehow badly all smoke on me, and one boy of 5-6 years approached and asks - "Uncle, why did you take the backpack from Petty". I have never seen a more sad expression of a child’s face.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №46031
 16.04.2011
April 15 - World Contraception Day. If you are familiar with Gandons - you can call, congratulate)
MeatWad: I will turn off my phone.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №46030
 16.04.2011
Ihaveabomb: Shoes will last a lot longer if you don’t buy a new one.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №46029
 16.04.2011
What is your name, Tanks? and ;)
2: You learn to read, he has a Nick Tankist point :)
I think the tank is right.
Or maybe a tank?
Tankist1o4ka (does not stand and answers): I am a TANKIST ONLY!! The tank, the mole!! to

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №46028
 16.04.2011
xxx: There is a surprising trend in recent times to have overpriced requests with only one slide.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №46027
 16.04.2011
I sit...

A: Fuck, how can you say that the server flew" given that it earned faster?

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №46026
 16.04.2011
Today accidentally broke the brain of the militiamen (we have a militia in Ukraine).
Situation: stopped on the subject of the purchase of drugs (in my home drugstore on the corner), and I went to work, bought "reni" from heartburn...
In short word-for-word: "Show what’s in my pockets"... Well I showed – and I have 2 cupcakes in my pockets and a vinegret in a package...

SLA11

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №46025
 16.04.2011
Sometimes I want to see along with the "funny", "funny" and "favourite" see the "coat" button.

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №46024
 16.04.2011
And also Kutuzov said that in order to save Russia, you need to burn down Moscow.

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