bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112055
 14.04.2015
In Skype, they threw a link to the sex shop, and the rubber ass offered there.
[20:24:44] Lydia Raevskaya: the football! We need to warn, well.
[20:24:56] buy in the house, Lida
You still have a lot of shit in the house.
[20:25:11] Lydia Raevskaya: The thing is definitely useful
[20:25:23] you will put flowers there
[20:25:31] Lydia Raevskaya: Hercules can be stored in it
[20:25:49] hhhhh: hide the asshole
[20:25:55] the horrors will live there
[20:26:07] Lydia Raevskaya: It probably stretches well. Podi, and the feet in it can be warm in cold winter evenings
[20:26:33 Lydia Raevskaya: and if she still vibrates - the face can be massaged
No shame in putting guests on the table.
[20:27:03] Lydia Raevskaya: a filled dish can be placed there. by Mamalagu.
[20:28:18] how cool - a multifunctional device comes out
[20:28:22] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[20:28:29] Lydia Raevskaya: the urine analysis in it to the clinic can be carried
[20:28:56] Lydia Raevskaya: cake to decorate. Press from there like from a confectionery bag.
[20:29:48] bhhkh: it will get old - it will be a fun pillow
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
[20:30:31] though I’m not sure

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112054
 14.04.2015
When my daughter was six months old, she was asked at work what her granddaughter’s name was. He replied, “I don’t know.” In response to the confused views of colleagues said: "The bride calls her 'Joponoga', and the wife- 'my girl'"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112053
 13.04.2015
The best toast I’ve ever heard: “Let’s drink for Jesus!” The young man who has resurrected!"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112052
 13.04.2015
by Diary

The Diploma of the Future Economist consists of four sections.
1st The Pain
2nd Desperation is
Three The hopelessness
4 is Labor Protection and Industrial Environment
HH: There is nothing more to say.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112051
 13.04.2015
YYU: Yandex is a shit. The real Russian search engine should be called "Hren". The slogan has long been invented.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №112050
 13.04.2015
Your religious beliefs?
The Poohist.
Meaning of agnostic?
An agnostic is one who doubts that God exists or does not exist. I mean, fuck me at all.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112049
 13.04.2015
Why do girls cheat on me?
The instinct of self-preservation

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №112048
 13.04.2015
Website providing services for Jewish funerals.

By buriing your loved ones at a Jewish cemetery you will not only show your love and respect for them, but also save a lot of money!

As in an anecdote.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №112047
 13.04.2015
Darwin explained it.
......................
Darwin explained, but not everyone understood.

1st The idea that man originated from a monkey belongs to Buffon, not Darwin.
2nd Evolution and Darwin’s theory are two different things.
Three According to these theories, modern monkeys and modern humans have a common ancestor; thus, by saying the phrase "man originated from a monkey" it is necessary to at least clarify what is meant by the ancient monkeys, not those that can be seen in the zoo.
4 is The classification of species relates to Man - T-Dam! - to monkeys (family hominid of the superfamily of human-like monkeys). Thus, the phrase “man originated from a monkey” sounds like “carrot originated from vegetables.”
5 is The logical mistake is here: “Man came from a monkey, monkey is an animal, hence man is also an animal.” All animals originated from cluster single-celled, hence man - cluster single-celled? All living things originated from the primary broth, hence man is the primary broth. Birds originated from dinosaurs (reptiles), hence the domestic chicken is a crocodile?
6 is Man is an animal, but the evolutionary theory has nothing to do with it: this is what is written in the classification of living organisms.
I don’t know who or why this can be offensive – except for those who are offended by the word “fruit” in the name of “manion in the belly of a pregnant woman.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112046
 13.04.2015
...
111: Ah, you think, signature under the photo
In our country, people after the corporation a week argued about one photo - Photoshop or not. XXX showed them a photo on the phone, said what a photoshop, here is the original!
111: So these worshiped that XXX and this photo was taken, it could not be like that.
111: The dispute was decided by UUU (security officer). Without words, he gathered all interested parties, brought his note and showed a short film from two surveillance cameras, just with this moment.
When after the pause he was asked to show the rest, he quietly looked around everyone and said very seriously, “No.” You want to develop it, but you can’t". What he left.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №112045
 13.04.2015
She jerked. I wake up - my cats lie along me, on the left and on the right, stretching out all the length and murmuring. Whoever did not fit in the body, lay in the second row. How can we not love them afterwards? I have five of them, and I hear little! Lack of feet!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №112044
 13.04.2015
It was a show. They gave him a hammer, called a female. During the last week, the hamster learned virtuously to perform all possible acrobatic tricks, including salto and skating, and apparently was not too pleased with such a trainer as my Catherine. The only thing that was strongly recommended to the sister was not to irritate the hammer of cats and dogs. But the little ones are smarter and more independent than everyone thinks of themselves. She chose the moment when the adults were distracted by their adult affairs, put Maska on a plate and went to introduce her to our basset hound. He stunned directly from such happiness and in a minute slipped to the hamster, not even whispering. And here it began. Katya nodded, calling to the dog’s conscience. The father jumped up and the lion’s stealer pushed the dog out, shouting, “Daughter, look there, you can’t see the man!” Katya in tears and tears pushed the poor dog's hand into her mouth, but Maska was already not to be saved... After forty minutes of glimpse, the mother-peacemaker, having tried a thousand ways to reassure the little girls, sits and says, "Today is Easter, and all who die on this day immediately fall to heaven to the angels. So now Masha is in the hamster’s paradise and she’s fine.” All this time I tried not to hysterically roast, it was bad.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112043
 13.04.2015
The hole is safe.
At least something is safe.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №112042
 13.04.2015
Physics and corporate. Congratulations to the teacher who has all the daughters and grandchildren. The fourth grandson.
Toast for the experiment.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112041
 13.04.2015
Well, this is how seriously to talk to a girl colleague if she thinks Modigliani is a fashionable dressed man :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №112040
 13.04.2015
To the question of an alternative vision of history... I had a professor at the universe who thought:
It was invented by the ancient Egyptians.
The atomic bomb was also invented by the ancient Egyptians, and the Germans during the First World War stole from Egypt the papyrus with its drawings.
Then 25 years decrypted, and when decrypted began the Second World War, but the bomb did not have time to make, because they were too pedant.
d) The drawings of the bomb from the Germans were stolen by the Americans, and quickly the bomb was made because they had Einstein.
The bomb was stolen from the Americans.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №112039
 13.04.2015
From Habr:
X: Here is it, the quintessence of modern security! It’s like a password from an email like Xy17Hso938Hdnla, but with a secret cat question =\
Y: What’s wrong with the question about the cat, if it can be called emN9vwEh?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №112038
 13.04.2015
( the answers )
How can we help sperm to reach the egg? What methods will give results?
Give them navigators.
kk: by thick method
zz: Use a longer penis.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №112037
 13.04.2015
Living beings are not toys, how many times can be repeated! When they plant hamsters "for children", it does not mean that a child can be entrusted with a hamster to disperse. Children should see how adults take care of the beast and be given an example. I can’t imagine how irresponsible a family should be in order to leave an unselected and not locked in a cage hammer on a small and nothing-understanding child after a week of maintenance. Officially ridiculous, how now the involuntary juvenile killer will digest psychological trauma, you will go straight! Are you really not sorry for your sister?

To instill my love for nature, my parents bought a goldfish. Twenty Fishes Later, I only understood one thing: Everyone I love is dying.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №112036
 13.04.2015
I remembered Niva.

They just started releasing it.
And in the camp, one stubborn girl proved to everyone that the car for trips to the forest was named "Neva", because the word "niva" does not exist in Russian.

Father of all TP?

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