bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16100
 27.04.2009
You won’t blow us up because we have a hole in the pop!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №16099
 27.04.2009
He was the ambassador of one of the African countries in Moscow. He had a wife,
She was also African, and one day they had a boy. All services in
The embassy was Russian, and the child used to thinking that black people were his.
The parents and the whites are all the others. One day, the ambassador and his family went to
Holidays at home. They flew down the stairs and the boy saw it.
Lots of black people. How will he now distinguish his parents from
All the others? The child crumbled into his mother and wept out of horror.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №16098
 27.04.2009
You play too much computer games if:
1st When driving a car, you remember what a struck pedestrian is.
They give 100 points, and for the police officer - 500.
2nd When the doors of the elevator open, you have a desire for everything.
Throw a grenade and run away.
Three You usually walk through the corner by pressing your back to the wall.
4 is You start pretending how much percentage of life you will have left.
If you jump from the balcony of your mistress.
5 is When you look at jewelry in a jewelry store, you consider which one.
They will add you intelligence, and which - strength or health.
6 is You very much want to come and embrace every passing person on the street.
suddenly he can get a good weapon, gold coins, or
The miraculous grass.
7 is You are very surprised to find out that it is not enough to build a house
One man, one slave, and two minutes.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №16097
 27.04.2009
Tell me, girls who write about themselves that they are sympathetic: do you form this word from the word "POT"? Or from someone else? I am just very interested.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №16096
 27.04.2009
YYYY
A hot kiss

XXX is
I instead of the flame, in the first second saw the pelmeni... I was happy =)))

YYYY
Damn... h0 with people work =(

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №16095
 26.04.2009
And when you wear a shirt under the coat, don’t you also smooth it where it won’t be seen? ^ ^ ^

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16094
 26.04.2009
Only students can understand the phrase: I only dream!! to

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №16093
 26.04.2009
Alcohol in small amounts disinfects, in large depicts.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №16092
 26.04.2009
I went to the service center. The engineers have not yet received the salary for February. Well,
As long as there is no money for a month, it does not end. They are 83 today.
February

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №16091
 26.04.2009
I sent a text message to the girl: "This subscriber asks you to marry him."
Reply to “Dear Subscriber! Not enough money on your account.
for this operation.”

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №16090
 25.04.2009
I went to the hospital to donate blood. There in front of the psychologist's office is a small aquarium, and next to the paper is glued: "Scientists have proven that a 10-minute contemplation of fish reduces emotional stress by 70%." In the aquarium, one fish died, and the other eats it.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №16089
 25.04.2009
Where is Virtonomika, who are all these fools and why are they waiting for me there???? >_<

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №16088
 25.04.2009
The fourth size often prevents a woman from considering her personality.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №16087
 25.04.2009
I have a good friend from Moscow who is very pleasant in all things.
Relationship man, and, as I would say, very unusual. even
extravagant, one can say, a man, by the kind of activity, which
of his many hobbies. What he does is not important, but
It turns out that he spends a lot of time in the northern polar circle.
Behind the South. This is the number he brought from Antarctica.
Home of the Emperor Penguin. What a fly has bitten him.
It was a miracle to go to Moscow, I don’t know, but he made his family happy.
The mood of the bird to the goat was similar - the same sloping, the only thing that
Everyone was saved a little - this penguin loved sleeping. I slept as
It depends. In the hallway. He stands up there and sleeps. Guests who are not
Course, a penguin, of course, for the subject of furniture was taken, and the clothes all
Norwegians scattered him. ha ha! I painted one such. OK, but without
There were no fatal outcomes, there were no guests. and here
How I would react in their place, I don’t know, although it’s also a special one.
I am not impressive. In the sense of reacting to the hangover,
Suddenly, she begins to bite and bite a cock. and then,
Sharp cords, stumbling somewhere and meeting on the move. Cedars, Cedars are charcoal.
The legs of this penguin slipped on the floor, here the masters and invented it in the
Shoes to wear. And this is not the goose, it is the imperial penguin, he is higher.
meters of growth.
He needs to swim. Here you put it. Every day, by the way. and
The Penguin reminded him of his need for it all the same insatiable.
In a way - he went, and the master with all his strength pulled - to say if you fucking
Take a bathroom, take a bathroom! I didn’t go to the bathroom, a couple.
He went into the water and that was it. Well, and the remains of water that is not immediately out of the bathroom
after his sports dive, he shrugged himself, wandering
in the room. By the way, just so in the cages and diving, he partook with these
Cedars, for nothing agreed to understand. Thus, in the hollow cages of
The parkland and walked.
Three years his owners endured, then surrendered, gave to acquaintances. Those more
Less was enough, of course, they did not perle this creature from Antarctica.
On his hill. As I understand, the Emperor changed a few more masters, and
He was sent to the Moscow Zoo.
So, if you see a penguin in a cage there, remember, it’s the same one.
and is.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №16086
 25.04.2009
Men are easier, they immediately see what a girl’s breasts are. Here are us,
Women are always waiting for surprises.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16085
 24.04.2009
Is it difficult to decipher the text of the SMS from the quote?
– – – – –
xxx: I got a SMS from my mom: "??? ???? ? to and?? ? to What about 1500?Q. I think I can answer.
Yyy: Yes, boy, she has a lot of questions to you.
– – – – –

The end of the day "for 1500 rubles". Continue to?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №16084
 24.04.2009
I dreamed I had a daughter, but for some reason it turned out to be a cat!I thought "nothing, for the first time okay!!" and

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №16083
 24.04.2009
If the general study of the Tax Law gives rise to the thought "no shit to yourself!“,
Then more detailed study leads to the thought of "fuck you!"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №16082
 24.04.2009
I was going to go hunting. I invited good friends. Ferguson, The Weather
great, sunny first half of autumn, the duck is flying, and in addition its
very much. All in all, I agreed. We went to the Ryazan Governorate. rented
The house is on the base of rest, all chinatown. I started drinking vodka.
Just opened the luggage. to come, to meet,
Good health, for you and for us, and so on. The only
The sober creature in our company was a hunting dog. In our
The company was distinguished one fellow, which I immediately named for myself
Rambo, he was even similar to him. Another name just didn’t suit him.
The amount of ammunition he carried was
enough to destroy all flying life in the district, including
The crown. He also showed a discharge he would be jealous of.
any special forces. He did not show his gun. I did not address anything special.
Attention to this man’s all kindness. And in vain! The next
early in the morning, or later in the night, because it was still dark, we
They woke up, rushed into the cars and drove them to the lake.
to hunt. When we arrived and got out of the cars to load.
I saw this cute boat. He was all in camouflage.
The discharge blinked in the light of the far with an incredible number of shirts.
ammunition like a bullet. There was also a backpack on his shoulders.
There was nothing but ammunition. But the most important thing is his weapons!! This is
There was a short-ship "Saiga-12" / hybrid Kalashnikov machine and
12 caliber hunting rifle / with a store for 10 ammunition!! and 2 more
The shop was wrapped in his unloaded jacket.
The hunt was supposed to be from the settlements, that is, from the sites located directly.
in the lake, among the caterpillars, which were held on the bowels buried in the bottom of the lake.
The eagle on the boat carried us through these sites / meter by meter, turn
There was no place, and the hunt began. No, and this is the beginning!!! to
The seat on which Rambo was was 200-250 meters from me. I broke
After the second shot, the mood improved. One of the ducks.
He flew in the direction of the sergeant’s seat, but, meeting a tight
The fire, almost on the spot, began.
to be at such a speed, such zigzags, that I am just a whistleblower.
The only disadvantage of the manoeuvre was that it flew straight into mine.
The side. This is a big problem for me, because
Shot by this anti-aircraft unmade crack began to fall around my
Sweepstakes and me too!! I turned back and covered my head with a jacket.
And the crush struck on the jacket, a couple of crushes hit my ass. Flying in
my side of the duck was the second one I hit, and from the first
The shot. This Rambo is the shit that landed on this unfortunate catch.
10 shots of ammunition! And whoever did not get into it, began to express it.
The sound of his thrill can be heard from all over the lake. I am in the whole throat.
He advised him, first, to shut down, and secondly, not to shoot.
on my side. Unfortunately, my words did not have the proper effect. by
Strange coincidence of circumstances, further hunting smoothed out as follows: duck
It flew to the border of the Rambo shelling sector, it was shelling Rambo.
and then under his scream “Yoooobaanaaroot!!!” Flying into my
side, I covered up my jacket from the crumb falling on me, and then pulled
the duck. So I broke five ducks. Rambo's enthusiasm over the 100% failure was
It is heard in the surrounding area of the lake. Not much more, he jumped on.
This small building. by Zra. The building said, “I am not a bat!” and
is broken. Rambo dropped into the water with wild cries, imitating a male
Babylon during the period. He cried out all his thoughts about the ducks,
Hunters, hunters who made such fragile seats. I thought the ducks.
After hearing such statements in their address, they will gather in one chamber and
They will pass over this hunter, squeezing him from all his weapons. But this is not
has happened. It was not very deep there, and he came to the stones.
to the shore, and then to the egers with cars. I saw him at the base. He was
He was already dressed, washed and drunk, and told others about what everyone was doing.
The ducks of the frogs, as they offensively mocked him straight into his soul with their unwillingness
fall under his shots and that he only now understood what was
Fishermen will go fishing this weekend. I just forgot.
Ask where. Not to go to the same place.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №16081
 24.04.2009
How tall should a man be to like women?
of 55 centimeters. Weight of 3.5 kg.
For a couple of years in you will be souls do not hesitate and resort to the first whisper.

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