Today, the three richest Russians have lost $12 billion.
Tomorrow they will find them in the pockets of the rest of the Russians.

The Internet in Russia is rapidly developing and steadily turning into television.

I went to my grandmother in a new building. My grandmother is old, almost 90 years old, but still healthy. The apartment has been repaired, everything is new and pleasant. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I open the valve with cold water - it does not rotate. He pulled stronger and didn’t turn again. Accidentally turned to the other side - easily turned, the water went. Not cold but hot. I crashed, relieved the pressure of the hot, I opened another valve (by logic, it should be with cold water, although it has a red "shelter"), already in the right direction. It does not turn! I had already gone through this quest, so I immediately turned back. Okay, there was a cold pressure! Adjust the water to the desired temperature. And here I got! It is extremely difficult to regulate the water when the shells are confused and one of the valves (at the time I didn’t remember which one) rotates in the opposite direction. That is, you can, of course, but you need to be morally tuned and be prepared for this rebuff. And to jump into the bathroom and quickly rinse your hands, thinking of "something of your own", will not run out unambiguously. So I succeeded. I twisted there and there several times, splashed, washed with the water that was available. I go out, I ask my grandmother, and what does she have to do with cranes? He said that the sanitary equipment was installed. I did not immediately look, and then, while waiting for them to reinstall, a few days tortured and decided - let it stay as it is. Not to relax. At my age, he says, gymnastics for the brain will not hurt again.
Everything has been working so for several years. Grandma is still alive.

Storm in Africa. The driller stands on the brake. And next to the branch sits a monkey and constantly watches him. Once the driller went out to suck, returns, and the monkey is already on the brake instead of him and drills. And so every time. It was worth the driller to move away, as the monkey stood up in his place and started drilling. The boss looked at the case and fired the driller.
Six months later they call the driller with the drill and say:
- Ivanovic, come back to us, we need a drill.
You have a monkey.
The monkey has become a master, and we need a driller again.

The weekends usually end too quickly. I suspect they don’t report the clock. Saved time is spent on Mondays.

“What will a white stone become if it is thrown into the Black Sea?” asked the chief of the site, referring to the Omonists built on the site.
Almost immediately, from the spot, screams of “black”, “green” and even for some reason “blue” followed.
Raised about himself, the major looked around the gray-cammish ranks of demonstration guards and cried out, “Wat, he will! It is wet!”
- You, fool, can someone explain to me, he continued, why did you break the ramp? She survived 20 CUVs, and only the Omons, who first came to the army field, broke her. It is not low, it is specially excavated - it is the maximum possible safety height during the frontal assault of the fire point... "After which, seeing the uselessness of explanations, he shrugged his hand and left.

In the 90s, the army got, many were disbanded, someone was taken to a clean field and abandoned. We also broke up: some went on endless journeys as part of the combined units, who broke up - went to business, others to the guard and so on, and not very much. Polygon at our part gave omona.

Twenty years later, taking advantage of the opportunity, I went to the field. The completely gray chief of the field survived all this time in his post. already in state. It happens when a person is sick for a job he has devoted his whole life to. His lessons saved hundreds, if not thousands of lives. The old man looked at me and named me by name. 20 years have passed! To my joyful surprise, he smiled, “I remember you all, boys. I am glad you have not forgotten the old man. Living means studying well.”

We sat down, drank a little, and talked. A young police officer broke into the observation post without knocking and fired out "bump, give the grandmother." “Bery,” he swung into the corner on a massive metal cylinder with a pen. Taking the iron, the soldier fled.
Do you remember?! to
"Yes, how not to remember: an assault girl with a gas pyrotechnic piston to wrap the locks in the doors, I started.
The old man stopped me. "Imagine these take and knock her on the door in the field building to do the assault. The normative has come up: 15 seconds for the door. They never even read her instructions, but I tried to explain to them. They don’t need anything, it’s easier for them. Well sappers sometimes train, I give them piropatroons from “baby” – they destroy them.”

The car's left rear wheel collapsed.
The next day’s decree: “All cars have to check the rear left wheels.”
So we live...

Why should the stomach suffer because the ass, you see, grows?

It was today. He approached the house, turned on the side path to the nursery, began to tie the big. A three-and-a-half-year-old girl passed by on a selfie, in an extremely good mood and in full motion. I hear a terrible cry from behind the order of the deceased mother:
Masha is standing! The car is going!! to

I turned around, it goes. It’s already over 40 meters. And the driver is unlikely to see this girl behind the fence of the garden. And she doesn’t think of stopping.

This is a fucking place. Passing through, and the pedestrian have nowhere to hide. The sidewalk under the residential house opposite is parked cars in front of. Damn, of course, but hopeless throughout the city. On the other side of the road is a fence. The road is narrow, man and car cannot separate. When the car appears, it remains to look for "bags", such as the nearest entrance or such an exit from the garden. However, this road is in a quiet courtyard, cars rarely pass here. But this gives rise to dangerous carelessness when you are three years old and your soul is full of delight. Where is this idiot right under the wheels? My mom is good, from the same cloth.

I exploded and I followed a girl, giant jumps. In a group race with my parent, I was five meters ahead of her, and continued to confidently increase the distance, but it was not easy to catch up with the damned car. The Saviour of Fuck.

In response to the repeated desperate scream, “Stand, do you not see anything?” She finally replied offended:
I see!

A dialogue has been established! But he did not decrease the speed. I soon realized that the girl was silent before, just thinking about how to formulate an intuitively understandable thought in a new language for her. In anger for the reproach that she doesn't see the shit before her, she finally woke up with the right words:
The blue wheel is swollen! In the back of aunt Elia. She is definitely floating.

Masha finished his observations, already turning to the road and headed to this car in the frontal attack. The feelings did not deceive her. Unknown aunt Irah raised her hand out of the window and welcomed her. Then I turned, who could think, right. And Masha went on the free road with celebration. I am still worried about the heart of my mother who ran past me. I think the world for Masha seems to be filled with huge, caring, but terribly dull adults.

Hello to the police! I was kidnapped by aliens.
Are you drunk?
Yes, it coincided so.

Who does not know how to enjoy life, happiness is for nothing.

I am now in the tram, a guy with a guitar enters the tram, the doors are closed and the tram driver speaks:
- A young man, who has been begging for the third year with the same composition, during this time could already get to work or at least learn a new composition. If you are not taken to work anywhere, come to work already for the usual position for you, a conductor!

Everything seemed normal. The struggle began after the words "The semantics of ethudism in Prishvin's prose is ambiguous."

How easy it is to forgive a bastard who has tortured you!

Moscow Mathematical Olympiad:

The reward of the rewarded, not rewarded,
The event takes place on Wednesdays from 15 to 19 in room 207.”

https://olympiads.mccme.ru/mmo/2015/zakr.htm

What is the morality of the tale “The Bell”?
Even if you have a crust, ride more carefully.

If you don’t see what’s happening around you, it doesn’t mean that those around you don’t see what you do.

I work in a clothing store. A boy comes in with his mother and says, "Give this beautiful girl the best dress, she's birthday today, I'm crying!" I put 120 rubles on the box and with an important look stood waiting for my mom to pick something. At the entrance was my father. He showed gestures that we would sell the dress for those 120 rubles, and he would then come and calculate. very cute.

From the testimony of Yulia Skripal: "When I bought a strawberry in Peterochka, I was still surprised - why Putin himself is there at the box office?"

Our business partner (a lawyer by profession) does not tolerate phone spammers, because his direct mobile hangs on the site like a contact phone.

The Standard Spam Call:

SPAMER: Hello, can I talk to an employee who submits tax reports in your company?

Partner: We do not submit tax reports.

C: How is it? And the accounting?

Q: We are working black, without reports. We don’t need an accountant.

Q: What if I call the tax office?

Q: We will come to you and shoot you.

There were no more questions.